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things you've learned from porn:


Tyler Durden

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yes. from time to time 99% of us will watch porn. and the 1% is usually lying....but thats not what this is about. porn teaches. its a learning tool. a gift if you will. some things i have learned from watching porn are:

 

1)girls like it when you cum all over their face. actually. wait. no. they love it and will always ask for it. even if they dont say it...just rest assured....they'll be thankful when you do it.

 

2)girls like to change posistions every few seconds and rarely like anything remotely convetional. ever.

 

3)porn stars are acrobats. capable of amazing contortionist feats. they are indeed gifted and should rival sports stars and teachers in their big fat salaries. chances are, your girl (or guy...) will want to try some of this amazing contortionist shit themselves. dont ask. always assume. thats another thing porn has taught me.

 

4)dont ask. always assume.

 

5)girls LOVE taking it in the ass. always. every single girl loves this. ESPECIALLY if you have a monstorous cock. in fact, girls love taking it in almost any hole you can imagine. chances are they wont admit to it though. theyre shy. awwwwwww.

 

6)every single girl on the face of the earth can deepthroat. any girl who says they cant or wont is cheating you. they love taking 10 inches of man meat down their throats and into their bowels. if your girl refuses to deepthroat. i suggest bricking her in the back of the head. but not while your dick is in her mouth. that would just hurt.

 

7)girls love fucking midgets. they just love it. make sure your girl steers clear of these tiny fucks because theyll probably end up giving them head. the midget would be standing on some phone books of course and your girl will still be tryin to get down extra low.....but you know how it is brah. cowabunga.

 

im sure theres more i've learned, but i forget right now and i'm trying to watch porn...

 

 

 

 

 

so yeah, what have you learned from porn?

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Guest angry xbox
Originally posted by Dr. Dazzle

Fucking on couches, tables, and kitchen counters is remarkably easy and comfortable......

ahahhahahaahahhaahaahhh

 

only thing i learned from porn is that a condom doesnt hurt if youre a slut whore who fucks for a living...

 

yes i have tested this theory on the local stripper whore inmy hood have you???

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Guest imported_Europe

Being from Denmark, the FIRST country in the world to legalise porn, I must say it has had a very pleasant influence on young womens attitude towards sex... Maybe thats why there is no danish word for uptight...

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Guest YinzerXpress
Originally posted by socrates

cheesy music is played whenever you have sex.....where ever too

 

always, my background music i prefer is the a-team theme nahimean

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Guest --zeSto--

if you're getting some, and decide to invide a friend over for some of the action,

the girl will think it's a great idea and invite some of her friends into the group too!

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Originally posted by harry

i learned that women like to keep their high heels on ,and most of them are slutty lesbians too ...just like real life

 

DAMMIT how could i forget that?

 

yeah, WHENEVER a girl calls you over and her friends there......get ready for some hot 3 some action. always.

 

and they LOVE wearing the heels that are real big and see through glass.........uncomfortable? fuck no.

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Originally posted by Europe

Being from Denmark, the FIRST country in the world to legalise porn, I must say it has had a very pleasant influence on young womens attitude towards sex... Maybe thats why there is no danish word for uptight...

 

 

don't rub it in doodd!!!

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:lol: :lol:

i dont know why i havent looked in this thread before this, but it definetely is a crowd pleaser.

 

yeah its all about the wang..

ladies.jpg

oh and how could everybody forget...foreign girls that you come across will always be drop dead georgeous know one sentence of english(sp) and willing to bone at the drop of a dime;)

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Originally posted by welcome mat

 

 

the funniest porn I saw was this girl who took a shot in the mouth, then spit in in this other girl's face and punched her in the mouth while she was getting fucked

 

I cracked up in the middle of it, it ruined the mood.

 

what kind of mood were you trying to set exactly???

 

i cracked up just reading about it...

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