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Things you Wish Girls would say right off the bat


Gunm

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Don't we all love it when we meet some cute chick and you start hitting it off really well with good conversation, a relaxed vibe and you're thinking "goddamn she has really pretty eyes". Suddenly, she drops some bit of info on you that just kills the deal. Something that makes you think, "Fuck....if i had known that, i would just smiled and kept walking."

 

For example, I met this really cute girl once and after an hour she starts telling me about how devoted to god she is and how Jesus knows what is best in life. Fuck Fuck Fuck

 

Don't you just love that? At least it wasn't "Yeah, I have herpes" although I'm sure people have heard that before...after the fact they just got done kissing said chick (which is some real ILoveUnicorns type stuff)

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Originally posted by onesecondple

and have genital warts

Originally posted by oneeightyone

then she had sex with 22939280175 guys

Originally posted by Dirty_habiT

after a couple months you find out that they're shady/flakey and tell lies.

Then she says

Originally posted by EarMuffs

mind if my best friend joins us tonight

And it turns out the best friend...

Originally posted by LENS

"Yeah, I have herpes"

 

Mr.yucks penis shrivels up so small that it completely disapears as he backs away from the whole nasty situation.

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i want to hear an attractive curly hair brunette say...

"damn where you been all my life, you grimy paint covered dickies wearing bike riding mother fucker? you wanna come to my cush apartment while i crack you a beer, rub you down in the shower, rollyou a blunt, put on a movie and let you into my silk sheets? you mind if my girlfriend comes? oh, i just shaved why dont you peep.....you like that? yeah, i study transit systems. you write graffiti? that makes me wet."

 

thats what i wanna hear.

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Originally posted by old*824

i want to hear an attractive curly hair brunette say...

"damn where you been all my life, you grimy paint covered dickies wearing bike riding mother fucker? you wanna come to my cush apartment while i crack you a beer, rub you down in the shower, rollyou a blunt, put on a movie and let you into my silk sheets? you mind if my girlfriend comes? oh, i just shaved why dont you peep.....you like that? yeah, i study transit systems. you write graffiti? that makes me wet."

 

 

 

dang. no shit. that the beginning to the best life ever. I lived that for about 14 days once.

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i wanna hear a woman say....

 

"damn you grimey wearing dickie motherfucker, where you been all mylife? you wanna go shop lifting? only if we fuckin the dressing room? you want lobster for dinner? only if im buying. yeah motherfucker, ill have your babies, and yes i still study transit. you wanna fuck in the rail yard again? mother fucker, itold you i rented a room in the hilton. fuck me there you fucking vandal, me and LaTicia meet you in #594 after we get the ex and viagra and the weed and the crystal."

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"I have a boyfriend" is a good start.

 

Followed by:

 

"I don't actually like you, I'm just proving to myself that I can still get men because exboyfriend/some girl/someone said that I couldn't"

 

Or maybe:

 

"You're a nice guy, you make me laugh and I flirt a lot with you, but I can't imagine ever being in a relationship with you."

 

Well, enough with the realistic stuff.

 

"I've never tried that before, but it sounds cool!"

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I'm gonna have to agree with nomada. I've been in that situation a few times. One of them was a really drunken stupor that ended up in a one night stand.

 

one of my friends:

did you sleep with ***** this past weekend?

 

Me:

(hanging head shamefully...she wasn't a prize by any means) uh...yea...unfortunately.

 

one of my friends:

you know she's engaged right?

 

Me:

what? Fuck! Eh, oh well. It's not gonna happen again. Er, I mean...actually it never really happened.

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