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there's a baby up in here...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by vinyl junkie, Sep 10, 2002.

  1. vinyl junkie

    vinyl junkie 12oz Elite Member

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    there's a baby up in here...

    Discussion started by vinyl junkie - Sep 10, 2002

    i'm watching my friend's baby...
    she's wearing my "the working class will rise again" shirt...
    earlier, she curled up with my dog and went to sleep for an hour or so...
    if you put on hip hop and help her stand, she'll dance...

    i'm rather entertained...
     
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  2. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

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    boogie hands - Replied Sep 10, 2002

    wait until she shits....the party ends there chief....the party ends there
     
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  3. socrates

    socrates Guest

    socrates - Replied Sep 10, 2002

    at least it's not a baby bot...then it will piss on you when change it's diaper.
     
  4. vinyl junkie

    vinyl junkie 12oz Elite Member

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    vinyl junkie - Replied Sep 10, 2002

    hey, that ain't my job... her mom gets back soon... more than an hour with her nad i'd be looking for my baby ropes... an hour's all good tho...
     
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  5. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

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    boogie hands - Replied Sep 10, 2002

    i dont know dude....babies shit a lot

    one minute its all good...next its a chili cook off

    godspeed my friend
     
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  6. vinyl junkie

    vinyl junkie 12oz Elite Member

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    vinyl junkie - Replied Sep 10, 2002

    my point is that baby's really only mind being stinky about half the time... so if she shits then she can just hang out in it for a bit...
     
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  7. footsoldier

    footsoldier 12oz Senior Member

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    footsoldier - Replied Sep 10, 2002

    haha, your gonan have to deal with the rank smell though..and i dont know if this actualyl happens, but what if she starts throwing shit at you. i know if i had a load in my drawers i would.
     
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  8. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

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    boogie hands - Replied Sep 10, 2002

    that made me laugh...i can just imagine mom comming home to her baby trotting around the house with a diaper full of shit....
     
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  9. kissmyass#1

    kissmyass#1 12oz Senior Member

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    kissmyass#1 - Replied Sep 10, 2002

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  10. kodak

    kodak 12oz Member

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    kodak - Replied Sep 10, 2002

    teach the kid the ways of graffiti
     
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  11. ilikeskulls.

    ilikeskulls. Guest

    ilikeskulls. - Replied Sep 10, 2002

    LOS ANGELES—A surprising new study released Monday by UCLA's Institute For Child Development revealed that human babies, long thought by psychologists to be highly inquisitive and adaptable, are actually extraordinarily stupid.


    Above: Despite their relatively large cranial capacities, babies such as this one are so unintelligent that they are unable to distinguish colorful plastic squeak toys from food sources.
    The study, an 18-month battery of intelligence tests administered to over 3,500 babies, concluded categorically that babies are "so stupid, it's not even funny."

    According to Institute president Molly Bentley, in an effort to determine infant survival instincts when attacked, the babies were prodded in an aggressive manner with a broken broom handle. Over 90 percent of them, when poked, failed to make even rudimentary attempts to defend themselves. The remaining 10 percent responded by vacating their bowels.

    "It is unlikely that the presence of the babies' fecal matter, however foul-smelling, would have a measurable defensive effect against an attacker in a real-world situation," Bentley said.

    Another test, in which the infants were placed on a mound of dirt outdoors during a torrential downpour, produced similarly bleak results.

    "The chicken, dog and even worm babies that we submitted to the test as a control group all had enough sense to come in from the rain or, at least, seek shelter under a leafy clump of vegetation or outcropping of rock," test supervisor Thomas Howell said. "The human babies, on the other hand, could not grasp even this incredibly basic concept, instead merely lying on the ground and making gurgling noises."

    According to Howell, almost 60 percent of the infants tested in this manner eventually drowned.

    Some of the babies tested were actually so stupid that they choked to death on pieces of Micronaut space toys. Others, unable to use such primitive instruments as can openers and spoons due to insufficient motor skills, simply starved to death, despite being surrounded by cabinets full of nutritious, life-giving Gerber-brand baby-food products.

    Sample Results:

    Baby #2,678:
    Test situation: Thrown to pack of wild dogs.
    Result: Eaten. Baby #217:
    Test situation: Wrapped in plastic sheeting.
    Result: Could not free self. Nearly suffocated. Baby #856:
    Test situation: Placed in center of lake erie in rowboat with nautical map to shore provided.
    Result: Still adrift near St. Lawrence seaway.

    Babies, the study concluded, are also too stupid to do the following: avoid getting their heads trapped in automatic car windows; use ice to alleviate the pain of burn injuries resulting from touching an open flame; master the skills required for scuba diving; and use a safety ladder to reach a window to escape from a room filled with cyanide gas.

    "As a mother of four, I find these results very disheartening," Bentley told reporters. "I can honestly say that the effort I have expended trying to raise my children into intelligent beings may have been entirely wasted—a fool's dream, if you will."

    Study results also prompted a strong reaction from President Clinton. "All of us, on some primitive, mammalian level, feel a great sense of pride in our offspring," Clinton said. "It is now clear, however, that these feelings are unfounded. Given the overwhelming evidence of their profound stupidity, we have no choice but to replace our existing infant population with artificially incubated simu-drones, with the eventual goal of phasing out the shamefully stupid human baby forever."

    http://graphics.theonion.com/pics_3119/baby.gif'>


    from [url=http://www.theonion.com]http://www.theonion.com[/url]
     
  12. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

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    When - Replied Sep 11, 2002


    :lol:
     
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  13. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

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    T.T Boy - Replied Sep 11, 2002

    whats with boogie hating everything all of a sudden.
     
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  14. Devilush

    Devilush 12oz Legend

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    Devilush - Replied Sep 11, 2002

    babies....i cant wait to be a mommy devilush. actually, it can wait afterall.:eek:
     
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  15. Wilt

    Wilt Guest

    Wilt - Replied Sep 11, 2002

    kids are dope....they're pristine..unaware of their surroundings...and just completely content with being jovial for the most part..i think i'd make a good father...a really good father actually...but...one has to have a significant other to help with the process...and since i never leave my house besides to paint and go to school..i dont see that happening for a looooooong time.