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there hasnt been a girl trouble post in awhile.....(LONG)

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by nemersion, Oct 17, 2001.

  1. nemersion

    nemersion Junior Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 187 Likes Received: 0
    soooooo. heres the deal.
    im 17, in 12th grade.
    in 10th grade i met this reaallllly cool chick, and decided to persue her. i guess my "tactic" was to just be her best friend, and hope things develop from there. i let that happen, and we ended up being good friends. but, it started turning into counseling sessions, where i'd hang out w/ her just so she could let out her troubles and such, and well, that just started to suck. i liked helping her, but the relationship seemed so one sided. so i stopped talking to her. i got into this new chick who led me on and didnt really like me blah blah, and that started at the begging of 11th grade. fast forward to april 2001. the first girl, she starts talking to my friends saying how she misses me and how she had a major crush on me back in 10th grade and all this crazy shit that i couldnt believe(shes reaalllly fucking hot, im reeallllly fucking fugly) so anyway, i was just...surprised. so we talk, and decide to get together and all that jazz. we pretty much decided we wanted to get married in the future, and that we share something REALLY special...and we still feel the same way. except...well, fastforward to last tuesday.
    it was like....3 days after our 1/2 year anniversary, and i was the happiest i'd been in awhile w/ her. (we'd fight every so often, and had taken breaks but we'd always get back together after a few days.)
    so she comes over on tuesday and is kinda acting weird. she writes something down on a piece of paper and is sayin "this will be ok, right, this will be ok." and im just like....."ok....?" (were both kinda weirdo's so i didnt think anything of how she was acting). so i read the paper, and it says: "i have a date. i still love you."
    and im just feelin numb. and i tell her that we need to stop going out then. her date is with this piece of shit Rusty, whos 26, shes 17, almost 18, whos been pursuing her for awhile. the next couple days i just felt numb. didnt know what to think. so we get together on thursday, and.....i manage to feel ok about it. it still sucks a lot...but i'm just like, its ok. we still love eachother. we still can have a future together. thats fine till.....monday, yesterday. she told me in the day to call her that night, so i do so. i cant get a hold of her til about 10:45. im like....ok, cool? it turns out she had gone to Rusty's house to watch TV, and left her ringer off on accident. i get pissed....and we talk about it. we didnt really get anything resolved, just me being upset and her justifying her actions. she comes over tonite, and we talk, and its going ok, until Rusty calls her cell telling her to hurry up to his house. and im just fuck this. i get pissed and just kinda make her leave. after she was gone for about 15 minutes, i call her cell, and tell her that homecoming is off.(we'd been planning to go for awhile....) i say i'm sorry, and she doesnt believe me so i just hang up on her.
    thats the scenario.
    thanks if youve stuck around this long.....
    anyway, my dillema, is that she still insists that she loves me, and she doesnt know what to do. she says she has all these people pulling her in different directions, and shes just trying to act on her feelings. and so, i feel stuck, in that, this girl i love, isnt acting like she loves me. im really good at letting myself get used, and i just dont know if i should cut her out of my life like i did after 10th grade, or if i should try to maintain this akward friendship. i realize that she doesnt really treat me right at all....and, im beggining to question what loving someone actually means. im rambling, but whatever. i just...i dont know what im asking anymore, i just dont want to let her go, because i know her love for me is real, but....shes hurting me. should i just let her grow up, and stay out of her life forawhile? fuck this. im getting confused.

    thanks for....reading this and any comments ya'll can throw at me.

    fuck me,
    racecar.


    ps...to the few that know me here, THATS whats been going on w/ chelsea and i, in case you were curious.
     
  2. avils

    avils Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 26, 2001 Messages: 1,574 Likes Received: 0
    Holy shit man... this sucks. I feel for you. But it seems to me like she's just out there playing the field because she knows that whatever happens you'll always be there to fall back on... you are setting yourself up to have your heart broken and your life fucked up for a while if you let this continue... of course this is just my opinion but I am in a similar situation where my girl of 1 1/2 years has suddenly decided to go overseas for a year to stay with her ex's.... :( :mad:

    Tell this chick where it's at man, you don't sound like a sucker and you shouldn't get played like one.. get on with your shit and meet a new girl.. sounds easy ? well it is !

    Good luck man..

    out.
     
  3. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,058 Likes Received: 48
    Well, I think sometimes, girls don't want to be the "bad guy," so they will play mind games to the point of you breaking it off. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt you, so she will break it up the only way she can, by making you do it. She will probably want something like for you to still be cool with her, but that rarely works either. Let her do what she wants...I would say to just tell her, "Do what you want, just don't hurt me while you are doing it." And explain to her what is hurting you...if she doesn't understand, wash her teeth down her throat with blood.:D
     
  4. You're being fucked.I feel sorry for you, i am not able to define love but even if i could "self respect" would still be a more important issue for you at the moment.Let her go...it seems that she wants to.
    Sorry man,i really dont know shit about you and your relation with your girl,but it seems she's playing with you and wanting her shouldnt be equal to getting all fucked over
     
  5. nemersion

    nemersion Junior Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 187 Likes Received: 0
    you guys are smart......thanks.
    keep 'em coming....
     
  6. SOZER

    SOZER Member

    Joined: May 20, 2001 Messages: 418 Likes Received: 0
    usually at times like this i would write something filled with thinly veiled sarcasm.

    this is not the case here.

    dude, i feel bad for you, my problems with girls just never end, either we dont like each other at the same time, or im too lazy to do anything about it. i think avils has a point, sounds like your her fallback, however if you really do care about her then you know its not as simple as just saying "fuck you dont talk to me anymore" (even though ive done so on several occasions which means a)no feelings there to begin with b)im colder than i thought), i think that since there is no easy way out, you should just confront her and (as hard as it may be) say "look, its either me or him" and tell her that you care about her and that you feel that you two have something together that is stronger than whatever this scumbag rusty is up to. if she chooses him then it wasnt meant to be and youll have to move on. if she chooses you then you can have a party.

    for now, im prescribing "saves the day" to you, listen to alot of that, and maybe some boysetsfire (across five years, the fine art of falling) take a bunch of that and post something in the morning. just dont start wearing emo glasses, that shit has a tendancy to be addictive and shouldnt be abused.

    okay, hope this shit works out man.

    nsk
     
  7. nemersion

    nemersion Junior Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 187 Likes Received: 0
    smart words sozer.

    the thing is, she KNOWS that this isnt right. she knows that i love her and she loves me, its just like....she REALLY needs to grow up or something. and...yea, i agree w/ a lot of what yr sayin dude, thanks.

    ps...i already have emo glasses.....
     
  8. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    i would basically tell you the same sozer did. tell her what she means o you and that your hoping that she realizes what she has and tell her its either me or him. Its better to do it now and get all this out of the way then be strung along and feeling like shit about it longer than you have to *if* things go wrong.

    I had this same basic situation happen to me and she chose the other guy. now that I look back it was a good thing that she did because I didn't need all that fucking drama. Plus I beat the living shit out of the guy and that made me feel alot better. Plus the girl realized what she threw away and still wants me and I am like "fuck you"..it makes me happy...If things don't work in your favor in the begining who knows you may get the sweet revenge that I got.

    sorry about the rambling I have been sipin alot of rum and coke.

    as far as recomended music goes..saves the day and some boyestsfire, but dashboard confessional is good for ya too. Hank Williams is the kind of broken hearts. Get some of his stuff that is just him and as few instruments as possible..his stuff tends to sound over produced if there are too many noises at once.

    or if your a metal fan, hopesfall and darkest hour..with a bit of year of our lord will make you happy.


    zack morris still loves you.
     
  9. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 21,803 Likes Received: 40
    you expect me to read all that? im tired. ill do it tomorrow the get back to you.
     
  10. nemersion

    nemersion Junior Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 187 Likes Received: 0
    i feel like im not explaining this right....blah.
    its not a matter of choosing him or me. because.....at the very least i want to be her best friend. she originally didnt even want our relationship to end at all, just not be so exclusive. i'd feel a lot more inclined to tell her to fuck off if i didnt know her so well. itd be like saying fuck off to my sister in a lot of ways. its like, i can hate things she does, but i cant hate her. which is part of the reason i feel like our relationship is so much more than a lot of kids i know....

    so, fuck, i dont know. i guess im just scared of losing the romantic side of our relationship. so, boogedy boo.

    i'm SO sure she loves me...but i guess the mature thing to do, as someone who respects her and loves her...is to just be level headed w/ her. tell her her faults and what i dont like when its appropriate, and just....be the better person i guess? fuck, love=mass confusion.

    but fuck, who knows how i'll feel tommorow.....
     
  11. nemersion

    nemersion Junior Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 187 Likes Received: 0
    my sig kinda ruins the mood of my posts.....
     
  12. avils

    avils Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 26, 2001 Messages: 1,574 Likes Received: 0
    I posted about my dilemma a couple of months ago.. I got some good advice and some bad advice... but I think the one that stood out in my mind the most (and still does to this day) was a reply from Retired Hasbeen that went something like -

    "I have learned that if one is a 'soulmate' many people will pass in between both you and them, and that they need freedom from a relationship to grow and expand in life... "

    Being in love can sometimes mean setting someone free....

    :confused:
     
  13. SOZER

    SOZER Member

    Joined: May 20, 2001 Messages: 418 Likes Received: 0
    well, maybe if you take yourself away from her she'll realize that your the one she wants once things are all in context for her, SHE'LL be the one like "what am i doing?!?!? i miss racecar" (*snicker*) but then again i personally try not to take life advice from a computer screen most of the time.

    i figure now is a good time to post something that puts my screwed up "lovelife" out there for others to make fun of (believe me, i deserve it...):

    im lazy by nature, i dont do things usually unless i want to, i tend to go to classes and work during the day and then ride my bike at night as well as painting. i always say that i just want to meet a cool girl and shit but i never get around to it. however, last year, a friend told me that this girl had a major crush on me or something, i meet her and shes real cute and the whole deal and super nice to me (for some odd reason), eventually we start going out and all that and i have a major problem with ditching out of hanging out with her to go ride or paint, she was totally supportive of both and stuff which really surprised me, when i talked to her i said i felt bad that i didnt hang out with her more and she was like "its cool, whenever we hang out is fun" now, things like this are not supposed to happen to me, so what do i do? i go and fuck up a good situation, i kept feeling bad for not hanging out with her even though she never got mad in the slightest. I thought she would come to hate me one day for being such a dick and thought she was harboring some kind of subliminal resentment towards me. So i decide to break up with her (came to the conclusion that i was scum, couldnt handle a normal relationship, and although i still liked her, didnt want her to be hurt by me not being a good boyfriend). we'll just skip ahead a few months here...okay, so we're still talking and we're actually pretty good friends, whenever i hang out with her she puts her head on my shoulder and is like "i miss you so much" and i told her i was a dick to her and shouldnt be missed and shes like "no, you were honest and youre the nicest guy ive ever known", im thinking to myself NO, IM NOT, IM AN ASSHOLE, PEOPLE HATE ME!, and eventually i decide that ive can be a good boyfriend to her and tell her that i want to get back with her but that i dont want to screw things up, she says that we can be friends with benefits if i want, so i decide thats a good place to start, so we do that we hang out some and kiss and whatnot and finally i decide that i want a relationship or whatever unfortunately now i dont think she does, ive pretty much given up even though she still calls (proof that i am still screwing this up...) truth is, i have a feeling that i probably could get back with her now, but im asking myself if i really want to, im such an indecisive idiot, i hate my love life and life in general most of the times...this sucks...sorry for typing so much.

    sorry to hear you got emo glasses, thats rough.

    nsk
     
  14. cdz

    cdz Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2001 Messages: 562 Likes Received: 0
    so what happened racecar? eh?
    -cdz
     
  15. eliptik

    eliptik Guest

    slash rusty's tires. and break into your girl--pardon me, RUSTY's girl's house and steal all the good stuff then either burn it or break it all. believe me you'll feel a lot better
     
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