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**the what's on your answering machine superthread**

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by OptimusPrime, Sep 16, 2003.

  1. OptimusPrime

    OptimusPrime Member

    Joined: Mar 5, 2002 Messages: 545 Likes Received: 2
    answering machine: "stop calling me you collegen ingected bitch".

    voice mail: "eat shit and die cum stain"
  2. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,506 Likes Received: 448
    at home "leave a message"

    cell phone "stop calling me"
  3. Sarah Tonin

    Sarah Tonin Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 20, 2002 Messages: 1,946 Likes Received: 1
    voicemail: 15 secs of dj cam's "bronx theme"
  4. taco bell bomber

    taco bell bomber Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 2, 2000 Messages: 2,037 Likes Received: 0
    answering machine- "i cant answer the phone right now, my tounge is inlodged in your mothers asshole"

    voicemail- "taking a piss, your mom will be able to call you back after she swallows"

    HELLSATAN Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2001 Messages: 378 Likes Received: 1
    my friends answering machine
    "shaune, adam and loser are not in right now"
  6. 2 blaazed

    2 blaazed New Jack

    Joined: Jun 28, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 3
    cellphone......hello....whats up whos this...no doubt do me a favor....leave a message....
  7. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
  8. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    Old message: Hey asshole leave a message this time. I dont have caller id.

    Prospective jobs that were calling weren't impressed at being called assholes so i changed it to something a lot less clever.

    new message: Hello nobody is available to take your call. Please leave a message and i wil return your call as soon as possible.

    I dont call myself that much so that may not be it word for word
  9. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    "Beeeeeelieve it or not, George isn't at home, please leave aaaaa messaaage at the beep.....I must be out, or else I'd pick up, wheeere could I beee?"
  10. CRAMPS

    CRAMPS Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 6, 2003 Messages: 1,600 Likes Received: 0
    home: hey.....leave your message after the BEAT! (me on drums) BADDA BUDDUH BADDAHDDAHDDAH BUDDUH BOODDUH CRASH!.....beep.

    used to be....: allo....come touch my monkey.....after the beep.
  11. kido

    kido Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 16, 2002 Messages: 1,463 Likes Received: 0
  12. DREDZ

    DREDZ Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 14, 2002 Messages: 1,934 Likes Received: 0
    old voicemail message: "livin' wit' my moms" by Thirston Howl III

    new voicemail message: a mixture of "Clouds by Cibo Matto and a snippet from the last episode of "FLCL"

    ...I get really bored at times.
  13. Jed Clampett

    Jed Clampett New Jack

    Joined: Sep 2, 2003 Messages: 6 Likes Received: 0
    shaniqua ain't here right now, if you'd fuck off and die, maybe she'll come back. *BEEP*
  14. se_FOUR

    se_FOUR Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 27, 2002 Messages: 1,796 Likes Received: 1
    "This is the T-Mobile voice mssg service, please leave a mssg after the bleep" bleeeeeep
  15. WISE

    WISE Member

    Joined: Jul 10, 2001 Messages: 526 Likes Received: 0