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the "STOP BEING FAT" challenge

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Mr. Mang, Dec 3, 2002.

  1. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2002 Messages: 2,901 Likes Received: 1
    i've decided to give up fastfood and soft drinks (coke, mountain dew, etc.) for a whole week to see if i feel better. i eat/drink way too mcuh of that stuff.

    it's the end of day two and i feel a bit better already. i have a headache from no caffiene but i'll get over it. faaannntastic.
  2. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    move out, switch to the liquid diet, and go hungey.

    It worked for me !
  3. WhAt_dA_fUcK

    WhAt_dA_fUcK Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 30, 2002 Messages: 1,149 Likes Received: 0
    here are 31 reasons why you still are fat.......


    1. I am virtually powerless in the presence of those two sadistic hippie bastards, Ben and Jerry.
    2. Buying clothes off the rack is not nearly as satisfying as having to get everything "made special."
    3. In every single food equation, fat equals flavor. Do the math.
    4. I'm tackling my New Year's resolutions one at a time and alphabetically. Therefore, I can't "Lose weight" until I "Learn to play the glockenspiel."
    5. The extra flesh folds in my arms provide a handy hiding place for my extensive collection of vintage '70s porn.
    6. "No reservation? No problem, Mr. Brando, your table's right this way."
    7. Two slices of melba toast or a sheet cake: Which would you rather have for breakfast?
    8. I'm secretly conducting an experiment to find out whether centerfold models are really telling the truth when they say that what they find sexiest in a man is "a sense of humor."
    9. Workout sweat leaves me with that "not-so-fresh feeling."
    10. I belong to a small group of individuals who believe Jack LaLanne may, in fact, be the anti-Christ.
    11. Exercise may very well be good for you, but all I know is, after I've spent an afternoon on the couch, eating Cheez Doodles and watching the game, I don't need to employ any analgesic painkiller or muscle liniment.
    12. God made gravy for a reason. I am that reason.
    13. Never have to endure that annoying fast-food question, as the answer is simply assumed: Of course I want fries with that.
    14. No matter where I sit on an airplane, I have an aisle seat.
    15. Maybe I'm a neophyte at this whole hip-hop vernacular, but I thought "fat" meant "good."
    16. According to the law of averages, there actually exists a minuscule yet completely viable group of really hot women who are bored with totally buff, cut, in-shape guys.
    17. "Thin" is just another word for "nothin' left to lose."
    18. I'm mercifully spared from seeing just how small my penis actually is.
    19. The inevitable cardiac episode, and subsequent lawsuit thereafter, provides me a perpetual exemption from participation in the three-legged race at the company picnic.
    20. So many different kinds of beer, so little time.
    21. I'm a "summer," and workout clothes are just not that flattering.
    22. In some small third-world countries, even politely refusing a fifth helping of an entr...e is considered insulting.
    23. Hoping to score big career break by being cast as Young Jabba the Hutt in Episode Three.
    24. Everything tastes better with cheese.
    25. Rather than "sliced to order," hams are, in fact, best enjoyed whole.
    26. At least Sally Struthers never cries when she sees a picture of me.
    27. Costly family vacations now replaced by weekend burro trips down my butt crack.
    28. If I wanted a life of strenuous exercise, extreme discipline, and self-denial, I'd do a couple of months in state prison.
    29. Have not yet conquered fear of slipping down bathroom drain.
    30. That Jenny Craig is one cold, heartless bitch.
    31. The size of my splash is directly proportional to the size of my ass.
  4. ledzep

    ledzep Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 21, 2002 Messages: 146 Likes Received: 1
  5. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2002 Messages: 2,901 Likes Received: 1
    i skateboard as much as i can, but it's fuckin cold outside.
  6. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    99cent spinach at safeway
    get some tomatoes and stuff.

    its all about working out i guess.like "uncle boy".
    he wasnt all that fit, but he went on the jarred foggle diet(subway) and worked out..now he's a power house ladykiller.i can seriously think to myself, "good job uncle".

    i dont think i can get fat.a beergut, yes, but fat, no.
  7. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,136 Likes Received: 82
    Phat is word is bond.
  8. gong460

    gong460 New Jack

    Joined: Oct 2, 2002 Messages: 11 Likes Received: 0
    ummmm ummmm

    a fat gut makes an ashy ass
  9. ctrl+alt+del

    ctrl+alt+del Guest

    im trying to +++ add ELBEES. if i could get up to 160-170 ish of straight up muscle, id be glad. thatll take about 8 months though, im sure. need to get some weight gain 4000

    <----------Lazy nonexistant-ass
  10. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,136 Likes Received: 82
    Is it just me or does she have a big head?
  11. sneak

    sneak Guest

    ^only if head translates as every sing le part of her

    i used to be quite fat. then i started smokin...
  12. Swizel

    Swizel Guest

    Damn OJ's got a sexy bitch.
  13. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    the only thing that has ever put weight on me is the beer diet..other than that I stay scrawny as hell..I should just start drinking lots of beer and rock climbing 3 hours a day again....I'll fuck some fools up and be mad deisel yo dawg
  14. I LOVE NY

    I LOVE NY Member

    Joined: May 2, 2002 Messages: 479 Likes Received: 0