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THE SHIT LIST

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by kOmega, Jun 3, 2001.

  1. kOmega

    kOmega Guest

    THE SHIT LIST

    Discussion started by kOmega - Jun 3, 2001

    THE SHIT LIST

    > > THE GHOST SHIT
    > > The kind where you feel shit come out, see
    shit on the toilet
    paper,
    > but
    > > there's no shit in the bowl.
    > >
    > > THE CLEAN SHIT
    > > The kind where you feel shit come out, see
    shit in the bowl,
    but
    > there's
    > > no shit on the toilet paper.
    > >
    > > THE WET SHIT
    > > You wipe your ass fifty times and it still
    feels unwiped. So
    you end
    > up
    > > putting toilet paper between your ass and your
    underwear so you
    don't
    > > ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
    > >
    > > THE SECOND WAVE SHIT
    > > This shit happens when you've finished, your
    pants are up to
    your
    > knees,
    > > and you suddenly realize you have to shit some
    more.
    > >
    > > THE BRAIN HEMORRAHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT
    > > Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead
    Shit".
    > > You have to strain so much to get it out that
    you turn purple
    and
    > > practically have a stroke.
    > >
    > > THE CORN SHIT
    > > No explanation necessary.
    > >
    > > THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT
    > > The kind of shit that's so enormous you're
    afraid to flush it
    down
    > > without first breaking it up into little
    pieces with the toilet
    brush.
    > >
    > > THE NOTORIUS DRINKER SHIT
    > > The kind of shit you have the morning after a
    long night of
    drinking.
    > > It's most noticeable trait is the skid mark
    left on the bottom
    of
    the
    > > toilet bowl after you flush.
    > >
    > >
    > > THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD SHIT" SHIT
    > > The kind where you want to shit, but even after
    straining your
    guts
    > out,
    > > all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped
    and farting.
    > >
    > > THE WET CHEEKS SHIT
    > > Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the
    kind that comes out
    of
    > your
    > > ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed
    with the toilet
    water.
    > >
    > > THE LIQUID SHIT
    > > That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid
    shoots out of your
    butt,
    > > splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl
    and, at the same
    time,
    > > chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
    > >
    > > THE CROWD PLEASER
    > > This shit is so intriguing in size and/or
    appearance that you
    have
    to
    > > show it to someone before flushing.
    > >
    > > THE CRACK FLAPPER SHIT
    > > This shit seems to create its own weather
    system. Your butt
    cheeks
    > > feel like they're flapping in the wind when
    this shit comes
    out.
    > >
    > > THE MOOD ENHANCER
    > > This shit occurs after a lengthy period of
    constipation, thereby
    > > allowing you to be your old self again.
    > >
    > > THE "ON THE CLOCK" SHIT
    > > This is any shit that you take while you are
    punched in at
    work.
    > > Lunch hour and coffee break shits do not
    qualify.
    > >
    > > THE "BEST NICKEL I EVER SPENT" SHIT
    > > This is any shit that you take in a "pay"
    bathroom.
    Thankfully,
    > > there aren't too many of these left. If
    you're ever in a
    > > Mexican border town, be sure to try one!
    > >
    > > THE RITUAL
    > > This shit occurs at the same time each day and
    is accomplished
    with
    > > the aid of a newspaper.
    > >
    > > THE AFTERSHOCK SHIT
    > > This shit has an odor so powerful than anyone
    entering the
    vicinity
    > > within the next 7 hours is affected.
    > >
    > > THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" SHIT
    > > This is any shit created in the presence of
    another person.
    > >
    > > THE GROANER
    > > A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal
    assistance.
    > >
    > > THE FLOATER
    > > Characterized by its floatability, this shit
    has been known to
    > > resurface after many flushings.
    > >
    > > THE RANGER
    > > A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually
    necessary to
    engage
    in
    > > a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often
    the only solution
    is
    to
    > > push it away with a small piece of toilet
    paper.
    > >
    > > THE PHANTOM SHIT
    > > This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no
    one will admit
    to
    > > putting it there.
    > >
    > > THE PEEK-A-BOO SHIT
    > > Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is
    playing games with
    > > you. Requires patience and muscle control.
    > >
    > > THE BOMBSHELL
    > > A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a
    time that is
    either
    > > inappropriate to shit (ie. during lovemaking
    or a root canal)
    or you
    > > are nowhere near shitting facilities.
    > >
    > > THE SNAKE CHARMER
    > > A long skinny shit which has managed to coil
    itself into a
    frightening
    > > position - usually harmless.
    > >
    > > THE OLYMPIC SHIT
    > > This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the
    start of any
    > competitive
    > > event in which you are entered and bears a
    close resemblance to
    the
    > > Drinker's Shit.
    > >
    > > THE BACK-TO-NATURE SHIT
    > > This shit may be of any variety but is always
    deposited either
    in
    the
    > > woods or while hiding behind the passenger
    side of your car.
    > >
    > > PREMEDITATED SHIT
    > > Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
    > >
    > > SHITZOPHERENIA
    > > Fear of shitting - can be fatal!
    > >
    > > ENERGIZER vs DURACELL SHIT
    > > Also known as a "Still Going" shit.
    > >
    > > THE ROCKET SHIT
    > > The kind that comes out so fast, you barely
    get your pants down
    when
    > > you're done.
    > >
    > > THE LIQUID PLUMBER SHIT
    > > This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the
    toilet and it
    overflows
    > all
    > > over the floor. (You should have followed the
    advice from the
    Lincoln
    > > Log
    > > Shit.)
    > >
    > > THE SPINAL TAP SHIT
    > > The kind of shit that hurts so much coming
    out, you'd swear
    it's got
    > to
    > > be coming out sideways.
    > >
    > > THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE"
    SHIT
    > > Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap
    Shits. The shape
    and
    > size
    > > of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can.
    Vacuous air space
    remains
    > in
    > > the rectum for some time afterwards.
    > >
    > > THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SHIT
    > > When the bag of Doritos you ate last night
    lacerates the
    insides of
    > your
    > > rectum on the way out in the morning.
    > >
    > > THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SHIT
    > > When you drop lots of cute, little round ones
    that look like
    marbles
    > and
    > > make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the
    water.
    > >
    > > THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SHIT
    > > Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump.
    Of course you
    don't
    warn
    > > anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour.
    Instead, you stand
    innocently
    > > near the door and enjoy the show as they run
    out gaggin and
    gasping
    > for
    > > air.
    > >
    > > THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING
    THERE" SHIT
    > > Where you just sit there patiently and wait
    for the last
    cling-on to
    > > drop
    > > off because if you wipe now, it's going to
    smear all over the
    place.
     
  2. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

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    Messages:
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    suburbian bum - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA NICE that describes every one of the shits, i didnt know people had the same things as me. Oh yeah i heard this one guy on loveline who holds in his shits for like 6 days cause he is crazy it was funny.
     
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  3. platapie

    platapie Guest

    platapie - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    hahahaha good post
     
  4. beardo

    beardo Guest

    beardo - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    i didnt read the post, but RAIN in general is on my shitlist
     
  5. kid furie

    kid furie 12oz Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2000
    Messages:
    2,253

    kid furie - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    i hate the rain > [​IMG]
     
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  6. fr8oholic

    fr8oholic 12oz Veteran Member

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    fr8oholic - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    L7
     
    fr8oholic - Rank: 12oz Veteran Member - Messages:
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  7. B_As_In_Bot

    B_As_In_Bot 12oz Elite Member

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    B_As_In_Bot - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    I never experianced it, but one of my co-workers described to me what he called a submariner or titanic shit. He said as soon as he had finished, and the shit left his body he was still sitting on the bowl. He then swears that he felt something bump him directly in his ass. He could only speculate that his turd has fallen to the water and bobbed much like a cork, or that titantic effect, or a submarine resurfacing.
     
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  8. IwearPinkShirts

    IwearPinkShirts 12oz Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    904

    IwearPinkShirts - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    or its even worse when you are having violent
    diarreah, and you pop a boner, and it starts rubbing against the inside of the bowl, so you try to move it, and it hits the shit water and the diarreah seeps into your urethra, and you try to piss but its clogged with diarreah so you cant piss and it builds up and then your dick turns purple/greenish-yellow and you have to go to the doctors and they ask you if you are gay and do guys up the ass and you say no and they say you lie and then inject you with shit and when you wake up you have breasts and no penis and are lying in the restroom at sears and there is a michael bolton song playing. not that its happened to me or anything.
     
    IwearPinkShirts - Rank: 12oz Member - Messages:
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  9. beardo

    beardo Guest

    beardo - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
     
  10. scienxe

    scienxe 12oz Member

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    Jun 1, 2001
    Messages:
    433

    scienxe - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    atleast i got it fr8

    -scienxe
     
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  11. fr8oholic

    fr8oholic 12oz Veteran Member

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    fr8oholic - Replied Jun 3, 2001

    this is so so so good.
     
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  12. willy!wonka

    willy!wonka 12oz Senior Member

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    willy!wonka - Replied Jun 4, 2001


    HO!SHIT!
     
    willy!wonka - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  13. willy!wonka

    willy!wonka 12oz Senior Member

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    willy!wonka - Replied Jun 4, 2001

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    PERFECT ENDING..YOU'RE THE SHIT YOU PINK SHIRT WEARIN MUTHA FUCKA!
     
    willy!wonka - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  14. willy!wonka

    willy!wonka 12oz Senior Member

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    willy!wonka - Replied Jun 4, 2001

    BEING AT THE LOCAL POOL....
    a life guard calls all the guys who are willing to come take a look in the girls bath room.WHAT WE WERE LOOKIN AT COULD ONLY BE CALLED "THE GORILLA SHIT"
    this thing was unexplainabley HUGE!it was ont the floor and smelt real bad..this life guard of the ghetto teased the female race for one of thier kind creating such a mess..it was a perfect day.
     
    willy!wonka - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  15. willy!wonka

    willy!wonka 12oz Senior Member

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    willy!wonka - Replied Jun 4, 2001

    THE BIG MISTAKE
    we were out partying with chicks..my house is alway the last place of hanging out...while we were out in the front this hot chick wants to use my bathroom..so I send her in only to have her run out disqusted with luaghter..when i went in to investigate i saw a SHIT THE SIZE OF MY FORE ARM WITH A FORMATION AT THE END OF IT WHICH LOOKED LIKED A BABY'S DEFORMED HAND...look at you fore arm and bend you hand forward to make a claw...that is what i saw...the worst thing about it is that there was noooo toilette paper..it was a phantom shit
     
    willy!wonka - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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