MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 This is long and if you have a weird sense of humor it's worth the read. Jim: one straight from my mom Jim: she told me that when my great grandmom was born she was born with a viel of skin over her face and shes supposed to be telapthic or somethin due to it...anyway so they cut it off no big deal and a sailor staels it for luck...now what a sailor was doing at a hospital is beyond me but whenever my great grandmom dreams of a fish someone is pregnant.... Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA Me: That is soooo bizaare jim: your tellin me jim: my family is full of secrets that i just learned recently me: I just told my mom and she was like, "Liz was born with the vail thing. WHY ISN'T SHE TELAPATHIC?" jim: didnt liz talk to that dead guy jim: or something like that jim: now the part of that story that bothers me the most is the sailor me: well yeah, but me and all my cousins on my dad's side are telapathic. Me: The sailor is sooooo bizaare Jim: its the clincher Jim: without the sailor the story would be nothin Jim: i mean what the fuck Jim: i stayed up many a night just thinking of a sailor stealing skin Jim: sounds like a grind band Me: A FUCKING SAILOR IN THE HOSPITAL STEALING SKIN Jim: yeah i asked my mom if he was there by coincedence or did he stay there lookin for skin viels Jim: my mom didnt know Jim: i should like make it my quest in life to track down this sailor and return the skin to the family caringand killin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAA Jim: like lord of the rings but you know less gay Me: hahahaha Jim: so you wanna help me Me: No. Jim: im sorry but i cant get over this i mean what the hell did he do with it me: And if I do, I AM FUCKING FRODO YOU ARE THAT FAT GOONIES BITCH SAM Jim: did he put it in his pocket or on a chin? Me: Maybe he wore it as a mask. Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Jim: made little eye holes Me: Yes. Jim: played jokes on all his shipmates Me: "BOO" Jim: i have no face oooh look at me Jim: i hate this guy Jim: you know what out of anger and vengeance im gonna steal me some poor kids skin viel Jim: and wear it as a mask to fool my shipmates Me: hahahha Jim: wana come with? Me: Yes. Jim: alright Jim: we would definetly make the news Me: I want to see the look on those bastard shipmates of yours when they see you wearing your skinmask. Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Me: Did I tell you I am naming my first born Ol' Dirty Bastard? I was listening to ODB today and it seemed to make sense. Me: And when they hit puberty I'm changing it to Big Baby Jesus Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Me: Oh and I'm going to beat the shit out of my kids. Jim: pure awesomeness Me: because they'll all be mistakes and deserve it. Jim: with a name like ol dirty your kid may be able to take you Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Me: OH!!! Remember the whole, "Hey, you remember new years? Well I'm pregnant." I said it and she totally didn't get it and got really freaked out by it. Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Jim: so long story short she forced you to have an abortion Me: "YOU'RE PREGNANT? OH MY GOD? HOW?" Me: "you are a retard." Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Jim: evey now and then tell her to feel the baby kick and while shes concentrating slap her on the head Me: Hahahaha Me: I was like, "Well, I don't have a vagina, or ovaries, or a uterus or fallopian tubes and we didn't have sex so how the hell can I be pregnant?" Me: "OHHH I GET IT" Me: "you are a fucking idiot, don't talk to me." Jim: HAHAHAHAHA Me: And I totally didn't talk to her for a day Me: she was sooo offended. Jim: HAHAHAHAHA just gave her bad looks of disaproval Me: Exactly. Me: Like I hung out with her and I didn't say a word. I just smoke my cigarettes, drank my coffee and handed out nasty looks. Me: And I decided when I have sex with her I'm going to start crying in the middle just to freak her out and MAYBE punch myself in the face. Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Jim: i cant breath Jim: HAHAHAHa Me: I feel so bad for her. Jim: why? Me: Just be pumpin away and just break down in tears then scream something like, "STOP WHINNING YOU BIG BABY" and punch myself in the face. The whole time still going at it. Then when it's all over I'll pretend it never happened. Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Jim: use her shirt to wipe your eyes me: And if she askes I freak out and call her a pyscho for making up fucked up things. Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Jim: you have it all planned out Me: Yes. This is what I did today during 7th period. Jim: nice yeah, we were bored. Listen to Shattered Realm. Feel free to add truely bizarre conversations. Thanks. Shitface. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WebsterUno Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Its long, but the sailor bit had me thinking too. What the fuck was the sailor doing there in the first place? its kinda like asking, was Goofy a dog? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Born Loser Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 LOOKS WAY TO LONG FOR ME TO EVEN BOTHER TO READ.:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega Posted January 8, 2003 Author Share Posted January 8, 2003 This conversation happened like a half hour ago and I'm still questioning the sailor, it just confuses the shit out of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feäà m3 Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 him: wanna hear something funny? him: or weird? her: ? her: yeah him: well, this guy says that his mom told him that when his grandma was born, she had a viel of skin over her face him: and when they removed it... him: she supposedly had some sort of telepathic powers him: the skin? her: what him: was stolen by a sailor for good luck her: trippin him: what the fuck is that about? him: i have never even heard of this viel of skin shit on peoples faces him: what the fuck? him: have you? her: no him: were you born with that? her: no! him: i was born with that... but a viel of skin on my dickhead her: ewwwww him: now it's fucking telepathic :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SayOne Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 ^^^:lol: :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest -MOE LESTER- Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Pijunjiz: well, do you like girls? bloodygothgurl69: maybe y Pijunjiz: o Pijunjiz: becuase im a pirate, and i like parrots bloodygothgurl69: i'm bi Pijunjiz: i also like young shipmates, i go both ways bloodygothgurl69: ok asl Pijunjiz: 35/m/ARRR THE SEVEN SEAS! Pijunjiz: I STAB YE WITH MY CUTLASS! bloodygothgurl69: omg Pijunjiz: yes, i kno you love me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest -MOE LESTER- Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Pijunjiz: hi Andre2OO6: hey? Pijunjiz: im from bosnia Andre2OO6: thats good Pijunjiz: my wee little brother stepped on a land mind yesterday Pijunjiz: im so sad Andre2OO6: ..... Andre2OO6: o well Andre2OO6: thats life btw im pigeon jizz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhAt_dA_fUcK Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Originally posted by MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega caringand killin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAA i knooow urrrr SN noooww.......;) :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12ozSUCKA Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 this wasnt an instant message conversation but it was ddefinitly bizzare one of my buddies at college was telling me that his girlfreinds grandmother is real weird and has a shit load of cats. anyway we were tlaking about how animals are different from humans. back to the story, when her grandma sees a cat staring off to space she takes a picture of what the cat is staring at. then when the pictures are developed there are usually balls of light and shit in the picture like you would see on one of those ghost siting shows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S@T@N Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Five minutes ago.... myself, and podrido ManTra: I'm posting one of our conversations on 12oz ManTra: do you want me to block out your sn? 97: diguise my damn name damn it 97: yes lol 97: call me 97: mr black ManTra: LOL fuck that 97: lol ManTra: I'm not changing them all 97: fine ManTra: I'm just altering the name 97: call me tommy wong 97: oh 97: ok 97: lol ManTra: lol ManTra: lmfao ManTra: you psycho 97: lol 97: hey tommy wong is a fresh name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S@T@N Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 The Main Event A while ago... my funniest saved conversation ever... Tommy Wong (7:40:42 PM): whats so cold about mantra? Cold ManTra (7:41:14 PM): the cheese Tommy Wong (7:41:23 PM): what cheese Cold ManTra (7:41:33 PM): oh god the cheese Cold ManTra (7:41:39 PM): ::death:: Cold ManTra (7:42:13 PM): the cheese, scott.... Cold ManTra (7:42:21 PM): if only you could see it Tommy Wong (7:42:29 PM): ok you're freakin me out Tommy Wong (7:42:32 PM): who;s schot? Tommy Wong (7:42:34 PM): what cheese? Cold ManTra (7:42:36 PM): lol Tommy Wong (7:42:37 PM): is it stale? Cold ManTra (7:42:39 PM): all just jokes man Tommy Wong (7:42:50 PM): where? Cold ManTra (7:42:58 PM): there was no cheese Cold ManTra (7:43:02 PM): there was never any cheese Tommy Wong (7:43:04 PM): what do u mean? Tommy Wong (7:43:07 PM): oh Cold ManTra (7:43:10 PM): it was all just some pigment of your imagination Tommy Wong (7:43:14 PM): you where pullin my chain Tommy Wong (7:43:17 PM): thats not very nice Cold ManTra (7:43:18 PM): yup Tommy Wong (7:43:23 PM): dont u mean figment? Cold ManTra (7:43:28 PM): oh I meant pigment Cold ManTra (7:43:30 PM): lmao Tommy Wong (7:43:31 PM): like the dragon from disney? Cold ManTra (7:43:33 PM): yes Tommy Wong (7:43:37 PM): yes what Cold ManTra (7:43:38 PM): FIGMENT IS AWESOME Tommy Wong (7:43:44 PM): hey Cold ManTra (7:43:45 PM): no one knows about figment though Tommy Wong (7:43:47 PM): whats the guy doin Tommy Wong (7:43:54 PM): the guy in your box Cold ManTra (7:44:00 PM): firing a chain gun Tommy Wong (7:44:01 PM): are u shooting at me? Tommy Wong (7:44:07 PM): thats not very nice Tommy Wong (7:44:10 PM): do u have insurance? Cold ManTra (7:44:29 PM): only on weekends in july when there are meteor showers and ted coppel is gay Cold ManTra (7:44:41 PM): but then I'm fully covered! Tommy Wong (7:45:04 PM): true Tommy Wong (7:45:06 PM): well i saw a movie once Tommy Wong (7:45:12 PM): about some dude who didnt have insurance Tommy Wong (7:45:15 PM): so he grew a third leg Tommy Wong (7:45:23 PM): on top of his 3rd one Cold ManTra (7:45:41 PM): (psst... dude... that's called a penis) Tommy Wong (7:45:50 PM): lol Tommy Wong (7:45:55 PM): well i cant say the word pens Cold ManTra (7:45:59 PM): hahahaha Tommy Wong (7:46:02 PM): cuz its gainst my religion Cold ManTra (7:46:06 PM): lmao Tommy Wong (7:46:23 PM): but i can say turkey Tommy Wong (7:46:25 PM): instead Cold ManTra (7:46:31 PM): nice Cold ManTra (7:46:32 PM): as in Cold ManTra (7:46:43 PM): I slowly inserted my turkey into her ham sandwich Tommy Wong (7:46:44 PM): that girl has a nice bum Tommy Wong (7:47:02 PM): or Tommy Wong (7:47:18 PM): cutting a babies throat is like cutting through warm butter? Cold ManTra (7:47:45 PM): yeah Tommy Wong (7:50:05 PM): or like eating a cold piece of ice Cold ManTra (7:50:30 PM): hmm... Cold ManTra (7:50:54 PM): punching a baby is like hitting a warm plastic bag full of jelly and crackers Tommy Wong (7:51:09 PM): or someones pee sack Cold ManTra (7:51:17 PM): agreed Cold ManTra (7:51:42 PM): alright in all seriousness I'm heading to a dance man Cold ManTra (7:51:50 PM): so I'll be back in a few hours, ok? Cold ManTra (7:52:28 PM): peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pilau Hands Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Me: And I decided when I have sex with her I'm going to start crying in the middle just to freak her out and MAYBE punch myself in the face. Just be pumpin away and just break down in tears then scream something like, "STOP WHINNING YOU BIG BABY" and punch myself in the face. The whole time still going at it. Then when it's all over I'll pretend it never happened. that made me cry laughing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest socrates Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 AIM is stupid..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6souls Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Originally posted by socrates AIM is stupid..... people are stupid, fuck people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken E. Bus Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Couldn't shake the weird sailor thing, had to research. The placenta, which a baby is surrounded by inside of the womb, has long been steeped in superstitious and/or folklore thoughts. In Ancient Rome, midwives would examine the color of the afterbirth to predict the health of the infant. Senators wore cauls, or afterbirth, over their chests. Why? They beleived the dried tissue would help them in their work and legislations! In England and other cultures, a child born with a caul [part of the placenta covering their faces] would be protected from drowning. The parents would fold up the caul and place it in a locket around the child's neck to further aide the protective thought their child had been born with. Also in England, beleive it or not, cauls were sold. Not kidding when I share this but people would actually place classified advertisements in the paper selling these! Who would buy such a thing you may be wondering? Sailors and travelers who were getting ready for a long ocean voyage would buy these items. Afterbirth, versus the caul over the child's head, was sometimes buried near the threshold of a home. The thought behind this was that it would help protect the house and the inhabitants from fire or other dire disasters. In other cultures, the afterbirth was cooked then eaten by the family - for luck. However, theories about protection are not the only superstitious thoughts associated to the notion of a child born with a caul nor the caul itself. In some areas it is said that a child born with a caul was also born with a ``gift''; in this case - the ``gift'' being a sixth sense. The child born with a caul was felt to be particularly more prone to having psychic visions. Some modern day folks may disagree with this notion, feeling that a caul would not have any bearing whatsoever on this since they beleive that everyone is born with some kind of psychic abilities. Then you have another group of folks that beleive that psychic abilities are inherited [either a strong trait in the family or by skipping a generation within the family]; therefore - again - not dependent on a caul present or not on the child's head at birth. Yet, I suppose in earlier time periods that a child known to been born with a caul would have been viewed "doing what comes naturally" therefore not risking the label of being a witch or beign led astray by an evil entity. Similar to the seventh son of a seventh son thought in some European areas which is much like the notion of a child born with a caul; automatically born with a strong and uncanny sixth sense. If you ask a doctor about why some children are born with a caul and some are not; they may shrug their shoulders and say it is not something hard for a child to do during the birth process. That merely the child itself broke the placenta [thus having the woman's ``water'' break during the child's delivery versus at the onset of labor] or that the placenta had a narrow opening for the child to slip through and some of it hooked on the child's head. After all, recall that the majority of children come out of the womb head first. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 ^^^ Whoa......nice work Dick Tracy...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLIK$ Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 http://www.webopedia.com/quick_ref/textmes...breviations.asp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Mamerro: Who's your buddy pal now? Kujo: haha Kujo: this dude named Dan the Man from rochester, who moved out here a couple years back to work in the entertainment industry Kujo: we teach together, perform together, create all kinds of random shit, etc Mamerro: Haha, with a name like "Dan the Man", it's not hard to imagine what kind of entertainment hes dabbling with Kujo: and we gang up on our manager (Jarrod) when he tries to swindle us (which is often) Kujo: HAHA Kujo: yeah, he calls himself Danny Diggler Kujo: i think i'll cast him in my next porn flick Mamerro: Yeah, you and your softcore B movie antics Mamerro: What's your next movie? Razz mentioned something about vampires Kujo: that's the one i'm doing now...Shira the Vampire Samurai Kujo: it'll be very softcore, just some titties Kujo: the first one was actually hardcore. Mamerroid: Really? Mamerroid: Full penetration? Kujo: full. plus money shots. Mamerro: HAHAHAHAHAHA Mamerro: You never told me this Mamerro: That is so amazing Mamerro: You were in a porn flick, hahahahahaha Kujo: second one (The Fear of Speed) was filmed as a hardcore porn, but the cocks were edited out finally and made the film a genuine softcore C movie Kujo: haha, don't remind me Kujo: that's why i don't talk about the first one much Mamerro: Jesus, Shira the Vampire Samurai sounds like a guaranteed festival of stupidity Kujo: this current one is being filmed softcore Kujo: haha, tell me about it Mamerro: What was the name of the first one, and what role did you play? Kujo: but i get cool roles Kujo: Jewel Raider (a take on Tomb Raider) and i was just a lowly henchman who got his balls smashed in mid-air by a slut Kujo: i only had one quick shot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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