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The oddest AIM conversation I've ever had...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega, Jan 7, 2003.

  1. MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega

    MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 23, 2000 Messages: 6,494 Likes Received: 1
    This is long and if you have a weird sense of humor it's worth the read.

    Jim: one straight from my mom
    Jim: she told me that when my great grandmom was born she was born with a viel of skin over her face and shes supposed to be telapthic or somethin due to it...anyway so they cut it off no big deal and a sailor staels it for luck...now what a sailor was doing at a hospital is beyond me but whenever my great grandmom dreams of a fish someone is pregnant....

    Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

    Me: That is soooo bizaare
    jim: your tellin me
    jim: my family is full of secrets that i just learned recently
    me: I just told my mom and she was like, "Liz was born with the vail thing. WHY ISN'T SHE TELAPATHIC?"
    jim: didnt liz talk to that dead guy
    jim: or something like that
    jim: now the part of that story that bothers me the most is the sailor
    me: well yeah, but me and all my cousins on my dad's side are telapathic.
    Me: The sailor is sooooo bizaare
    Jim: its the clincher
    Jim: without the sailor the story would be nothin
    Jim: i mean what the fuck
    Jim: i stayed up many a night just thinking of a sailor stealing skin
    Jim: sounds like a grind band
    Me: A FUCKING SAILOR IN THE HOSPITAL STEALING SKIN
    Jim: yeah i asked my mom if he was there by coincedence or did he stay there lookin for skin viels
    Jim: my mom didnt know
    Jim: i should like make it my quest in life to track down this sailor and return the skin to the family
    caringand killin: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAA
    Jim: like lord of the rings but you know less gay
    Me: hahahaha
    Jim: so you wanna help me
    Me: No.
    Jim: im sorry but i cant get over this i mean what the hell did he do with it
    me: And if I do, I AM FUCKING FRODO YOU ARE THAT FAT GOONIES BITCH SAM
    Jim: did he put it in his pocket or on a chin?
    Me: Maybe he wore it as a mask.
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
    Jim: made little eye holes
    Me: Yes.
    Jim: played jokes on all his shipmates
    Me: "BOO"
    Jim: i have no face oooh look at me
    Jim: i hate this guy
    Jim: you know what out of anger and vengeance im gonna steal me some poor kids skin viel
    Jim: and wear it as a mask to fool my shipmates
    Me: hahahha
    Jim: wana come with?
    Me: Yes.
    Jim: alright
    Jim: we would definetly make the news
    Me: I want to see the look on those bastard shipmates of yours when they see you wearing your skinmask.
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Me: Did I tell you I am naming my first born Ol' Dirty Bastard? I was listening to ODB today and it seemed to make sense.
    Me: And when they hit puberty I'm changing it to Big Baby Jesus
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Me: Oh and I'm going to beat the shit out of my kids.
    Jim: pure awesomeness
    Me: because they'll all be mistakes and deserve it.
    Jim: with a name like ol dirty your kid may be able to take you
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Me: OH!!! Remember the whole, "Hey, you remember new years? Well I'm pregnant." I said it and she totally didn't get it and got really freaked out by it.
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Jim: so long story short she forced you to have an abortion
    Me: "YOU'RE PREGNANT? OH MY GOD? HOW?"
    Me: "you are a retard."
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Jim: evey now and then tell her to feel the baby kick and while shes concentrating slap her on the head
    Me: Hahahaha
    Me: I was like, "Well, I don't have a vagina, or ovaries, or a uterus or fallopian tubes and we didn't have sex so how the hell can I be pregnant?"
    Me: "OHHH I GET IT"
    Me: "you are a fucking idiot, don't talk to me."
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHA
    Me: And I totally didn't talk to her for a day
    Me: she was sooo offended.
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHA just gave her bad looks of disaproval
    Me: Exactly.
    Me: Like I hung out with her and I didn't say a word. I just smoke my cigarettes, drank my coffee and handed out nasty looks.
    Me: And I decided when I have sex with her I'm going to start crying in the middle just to freak her out and MAYBE punch myself in the face.
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Jim: i cant breath
    Jim: HAHAHAHa
    Me: I feel so bad for her.
    Jim: why?
    Me: Just be pumpin away and just break down in tears then scream something like, "STOP WHINNING YOU BIG BABY" and punch myself in the face. The whole time still going at it. Then when it's all over I'll pretend it never happened.
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Jim: use her shirt to wipe your eyes
    me: And if she askes I freak out and call her a pyscho for making up fucked up things.
    Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Jim: you have it all planned out
    Me: Yes. This is what I did today during 7th period.
    Jim: nice

    yeah, we were bored. Listen to Shattered Realm.

    Feel free to add truely bizarre conversations.

    Thanks.

    Shitface. :D
     
  2. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    Its long, but the sailor bit
    had me thinking too.
    What the fuck was the sailor doing there
    in the first place?

    its kinda like asking, was Goofy a dog?
     
  3. Born Loser

    Born Loser New Jack

    Joined: Sep 14, 2001 Messages: 63 Likes Received: 0
    LOOKS WAY TO LONG FOR ME TO EVEN BOTHER TO READ.:rolleyes:
     
  4. MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega

    MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 23, 2000 Messages: 6,494 Likes Received: 1
    This conversation happened like a half hour ago and I'm still questioning the sailor, it just confuses the shit out of me.
     
  5. Feäà m3

    Feäà m3 New Jack

    Joined: Nov 20, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
    him: wanna hear something funny?
    him: or weird?
    her: ?
    her: yeah
    him: well, this guy says that his mom told him that when his grandma was born, she had a viel of skin over her face
    him: and when they removed it...
    him: she supposedly had some sort of telepathic powers
    him: the skin?
    her: what
    him: was stolen by a sailor for good luck
    her: trippin
    him: what the fuck is that about?
    him: i have never even heard of this viel of skin shit on peoples faces
    him: what the fuck?
    him: have you?
    her: no
    him: were you born with that?
    her: no!
    him: i was born with that... but a viel of skin on my dickhead
    her: ewwwww
    him: now it's fucking telepathic

    :rolleyes:
     
  6. SayOne

    SayOne Guest

    ^^^:lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  7. -MOE LESTER-

    -MOE LESTER- Guest

    Pijunjiz: well, do you like girls?

    bloodygothgurl69: maybe y

    Pijunjiz: o
    Pijunjiz: becuase im a pirate, and i like parrots

    bloodygothgurl69: i'm bi

    Pijunjiz: i also like young shipmates, i go both ways

    bloodygothgurl69: ok asl

    Pijunjiz: 35/m/ARRR THE SEVEN SEAS!
    Pijunjiz: I STAB YE WITH MY CUTLASS!

    bloodygothgurl69: omg

    Pijunjiz: yes, i kno you love me
     
  8. -MOE LESTER-

    -MOE LESTER- Guest

    Pijunjiz: hi
    Andre2OO6: hey?
    Pijunjiz: im from bosnia
    Andre2OO6: thats good
    Pijunjiz: my wee little brother stepped on a land mind yesterday
    Pijunjiz: im so sad
    Andre2OO6: .....
    Andre2OO6: o well
    Andre2OO6: thats life

    btw im pigeon jizz
     
  9. WhAt_dA_fUcK

    WhAt_dA_fUcK Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 30, 2002 Messages: 1,149 Likes Received: 0

    i knooow urrrr SN noooww.......;) :D
     
  10. 12ozSUCKA

    12ozSUCKA New Jack

    Joined: May 22, 2002 Messages: 15 Likes Received: 0
    this wasnt an instant message conversation but it was ddefinitly bizzare

    one of my buddies at college was telling me that his girlfreinds grandmother is real weird and has a shit load of cats. anyway we were tlaking about how animals are different from humans.
    back to the story, when her grandma sees a cat staring off to space she takes a picture of what the cat is staring at. then when the pictures are developed there are usually balls of light and shit in the picture like you would see on one of those ghost siting shows
     
  11. S@T@N

    [email protected]@N Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 15, 2002 Messages: 1,998 Likes Received: 0
    Five minutes ago.... myself, and podrido


    ManTra: I'm posting one of our conversations on 12oz
    ManTra: do you want me to block out your sn?
    97: diguise my damn name damn it
    97: yes lol
    97: call me
    97: mr black
    ManTra: LOL fuck that
    97: lol
    ManTra: I'm not changing them all
    97: fine
    ManTra: I'm just altering the name
    97: call me tommy wong
    97: oh
    97: ok
    97: lol
    ManTra: lol
    ManTra: lmfao
    ManTra: you psycho
    97: lol
    97: hey tommy wong is a fresh name
     
  12. S@T@N

    [email protected]@N Senior Member

    Joined: Sep 15, 2002 Messages: 1,998 Likes Received: 0
    The Main Event

    A while ago... my funniest saved conversation ever...


    Tommy Wong (7:40:42 PM): whats so cold about mantra?
    Cold ManTra (7:41:14 PM): the cheese
    Tommy Wong (7:41:23 PM): what cheese
    Cold ManTra (7:41:33 PM): oh god the cheese
    Cold ManTra (7:41:39 PM): ::death::
    Cold ManTra (7:42:13 PM): the cheese, scott....
    Cold ManTra (7:42:21 PM): if only you could see it
    Tommy Wong (7:42:29 PM): ok you're freakin me out
    Tommy Wong (7:42:32 PM): who;s schot?
    Tommy Wong (7:42:34 PM): what cheese?
    Cold ManTra (7:42:36 PM): lol
    Tommy Wong (7:42:37 PM): is it stale?
    Cold ManTra (7:42:39 PM): all just jokes man
    Tommy Wong (7:42:50 PM): where?
    Cold ManTra (7:42:58 PM): there was no cheese
    Cold ManTra (7:43:02 PM): there was never any cheese
    Tommy Wong (7:43:04 PM): what do u mean?
    Tommy Wong (7:43:07 PM): oh
    Cold ManTra (7:43:10 PM): it was all just some pigment of your imagination
    Tommy Wong (7:43:14 PM): you where pullin my chain
    Tommy Wong (7:43:17 PM): thats not very nice
    Cold ManTra (7:43:18 PM): yup
    Tommy Wong (7:43:23 PM): dont u mean figment?
    Cold ManTra (7:43:28 PM): oh I meant pigment
    Cold ManTra (7:43:30 PM): lmao
    Tommy Wong (7:43:31 PM): like the dragon from disney?
    Cold ManTra (7:43:33 PM): yes
    Tommy Wong (7:43:37 PM): yes what
    Cold ManTra (7:43:38 PM): FIGMENT IS AWESOME
    Tommy Wong (7:43:44 PM): hey
    Cold ManTra (7:43:45 PM): no one knows about figment though
    Tommy Wong (7:43:47 PM): whats the guy doin
    Tommy Wong (7:43:54 PM): the guy in your box
    Cold ManTra (7:44:00 PM): firing a chain gun
    Tommy Wong (7:44:01 PM): are u shooting at me?
    Tommy Wong (7:44:07 PM): thats not very nice
    Tommy Wong (7:44:10 PM): do u have insurance?
    Cold ManTra (7:44:29 PM): only on weekends in july when there are meteor showers and ted coppel is gay
    Cold ManTra (7:44:41 PM): but then I'm fully covered!
    Tommy Wong (7:45:04 PM): true
    Tommy Wong (7:45:06 PM): well i saw a movie once
    Tommy Wong (7:45:12 PM): about some dude who didnt have insurance
    Tommy Wong (7:45:15 PM): so he grew a third leg
    Tommy Wong (7:45:23 PM): on top of his 3rd one
    Cold ManTra (7:45:41 PM): (psst... dude... that's called a penis)
    Tommy Wong (7:45:50 PM): lol
    Tommy Wong (7:45:55 PM): well i cant say the word pens
    Cold ManTra (7:45:59 PM): hahahaha
    Tommy Wong (7:46:02 PM): cuz its gainst my religion
    Cold ManTra (7:46:06 PM): lmao
    Tommy Wong (7:46:23 PM): but i can say turkey
    Tommy Wong (7:46:25 PM): instead
    Cold ManTra (7:46:31 PM): nice
    Cold ManTra (7:46:32 PM): as in
    Cold ManTra (7:46:43 PM): I slowly inserted my turkey into her ham sandwich
    Tommy Wong (7:46:44 PM): that girl has a nice bum
    Tommy Wong (7:47:02 PM): or
    Tommy Wong (7:47:18 PM): cutting a babies throat is like cutting through warm butter?
    Cold ManTra (7:47:45 PM): yeah
    Tommy Wong (7:50:05 PM): or like eating a cold piece of ice
    Cold ManTra (7:50:30 PM): hmm...
    Cold ManTra (7:50:54 PM): punching a baby is like hitting a warm plastic bag full of jelly and crackers
    Tommy Wong (7:51:09 PM): or someones pee sack
    Cold ManTra (7:51:17 PM): agreed
    Cold ManTra (7:51:42 PM): alright in all seriousness I'm heading to a dance man
    Cold ManTra (7:51:50 PM): so I'll be back in a few hours, ok?
    Cold ManTra (7:52:28 PM): peace
     
  13. Pilau Hands

    Pilau Hands Guest

    Me: And I decided when I have sex with her I'm going to start crying in the middle just to freak her out and MAYBE punch myself in the face. Just be pumpin away and just break down in tears then scream something like, "STOP WHINNING YOU BIG BABY" and punch myself in the face. The whole time still going at it. Then when it's all over I'll pretend it never happened.

    that made me cry laughing
     
  14. socrates

    socrates Guest

    AIM is stupid.....
     
  15. 6souls

    6souls Junior Member

    Joined: Mar 1, 2002 Messages: 211 Likes Received: 0
    people are stupid, fuck people
     
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