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the "MAN SHOW"

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by FLESHEATER, Nov 28, 2002.


    FLESHEATER Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 1, 2001 Messages: 1,193 Likes Received: 0
    How many men does it take to open a beer ?
    None. It should be open by the time she brings it.

    Why is a Laundrymat a really bad place to pick up a woman ? Because a woman who
    can’t afford a washing machine of her own, probably won’t be able to support you.

    Why do women have smaller feet than men ? It’s one of those
    “evolutionary things” that allows then to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    How do you know when a women is going to say something smart. ?
    When she starts a sentence with “ A guy/man once told me…”

    How do you fix a woman’s watch ? You don’t. There’s a clock on the oven.

    Why do men break wind more than women ?
    Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

    If your dog is barking at the back door and wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ? The dog of course. He’ll shut up when you let him in.

    What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig ? A woman who won’t do as she’s told.

    I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

    I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a women’s sex drive by 90%. It’s called a Wedding Cake.

    Marriage is a 3 ring circus. Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring and Suffering.

    Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me “What was on TV?”.
    I said dust.

    In the beginning, God created the Earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then neither Man nor God has rested.

    Why do men die before women. They want to.

    A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said “I haven’t eaten anything for days”
    She looked at him and said “I wish I had your willpower”

    Young son “ Is it true, Dad, I heard in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her ?”.
    Dad: “That happens everywhere son”.

    A man inserted an ad in the classifieds “Wife Wanted”
    The next day he got hundreds of replies all saying the same thing “You can have mine”

    The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
  2. Organ Donor

    Organ Donor Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 4, 2001 Messages: 2,884 Likes Received: 0
  3. Organ Donor

    Organ Donor Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 4, 2001 Messages: 2,884 Likes Received: 0
    if i was gay i would have said... FIRST! fuck you.
  4. swif1

    swif1 Veteran Member

    Joined: Dec 13, 2001 Messages: 7,067 Likes Received: 29
  5. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
  6. dukeofyork

    dukeofyork Senior Member

    Joined: Nov 9, 2000 Messages: 1,589 Likes Received: 1
    he he he.....funny.....a little bit fucked up...

    but i laughed..