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the laughable christian rap thread


Swindle

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i know theres some gems out there. i love when they try to fit too many words into one sentence like a cheap EL-P knock off. then again they probably don't know who EL-P is to begin with.

 

this guy tried to add me

 

http://www.myspace.com/babbleonhalo

 

basically he left his wife to tour with his band which ended up breaking up (LOL owned) and now god posessed him and made him freestyle or something gay like that

 

 

add more.

 

055jesus_468x498.jpg

50%20Cent-1.jpg

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a friend and i roped into going to a 'gig' which turned out to be a christian propaganda rock marathon. it was so strange, instead of a mosh pit they stood in the pews (?) and jumped up and down on the spot with their hands by their sides because "moshing is too dangerous, we worship in our praise pit" (i dont give a fuck about moshing but i expected it to be a hardcore gig)

 

we said we had to go outside for some air and ran all the way across the car park and bailed.

they also insisted on getting our details and when i left my number and address blank a girl came up to me and said "i know we said its oppotional but can you fill it out"

i did that and they called my house for the next 4 weeks asking me what i thought and if i was coming back until i told them to fuck off.

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Okay, I lied..there's only one that makes sense-

 

335f57s.jpg

 

It was definitely surreal. I'm not a big fan of amateur rappers, interpretive hip hop dance, or jesus freaks...having to encounter all three while I was blasted out of my fucking gourd in 100 degree heat almost made catch the first thing smoking out of Reno.

 

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Here we are getting dirty looks from everyone else in the park. Needless to say we were not quietly watching the show...I think someone kept yelling "WU-TANG" but I'm hazy on that.

 

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Following the "performance" I had to cross this bridge for what seemed like a week or two.

 

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Then we ended up at this club where there was going to be a hip hop show and Milk Grenades decided to fight the bouncer just because. I halfheartedly told her to chill out a couple times but by that point I was too fried to really care. I think they actually played Wu-Tang at this club, though.

 

That's it.

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I'm not a big fan of amateur rappers, interpretive hip hop dance, or jesus freaks.

 

can co-sign 100.

 

 

i've been known to get drunk and belligerent towards preachers but i have yet to argue with a christian hip hop head. i look forward to it.

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I dont have cable tv so i find myself flipping through the channels often and sometimes Ill catch a hip hop video on JCTV that looks gangster as fuck or straight old school and actually sounds good.

Unfortunately their talent will never be heard cause of how they market themselves, Dont get me wrong its not bad what they doing its just the christian music scene never gets taken seriously.

 

/IAdmitMostOfItSoundsCornyOner

 

^yep i just brought back the oner

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Christian hip hop is actually really common here

some kids sell out to the Christian recording industry, since their world headquarters is here

it's hard to make it doing real hip hop - it's either dirty south gangsta shit or be "enlightened" and make money that way

and they do make money

 

but we also have christian gangsta rap

here's Pettidee

he'll clap your bitch ass if you ain't saved!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgkfACXJ6xY

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christian music in general is fucking weak.

 

each time i'm flippin thru the radio and i hear a guy that sounds like a total fucking pussy, i know it's the christian station. 9/10 times i'm right

 

each dude has this same kind of voice, it's hard to explain...

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Cross_Movement_Concert_A2.jpg

 

 

 

 

I used to dabble in some black magic

Cause I used to sell crack on the corners to the crack addicts

Now I bust for Christ like I'ma akmatic

And if I sound mad, you're right cause I have had it

 

I don't know if these guyS are from here, but they sure do spend a lot of time here

I'm pretty sure they are signed from some christian label here

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I dont have cable tv so i find myself flipping through the channels often and sometimes Ill catch a hip hop video on JCTV that looks gangster as fuck or straight old school and actually sounds good.

Unfortunately their talent will never be heard cause of how they market themselves, Dont get me wrong its not bad what they doing its just the christian music scene never gets taken seriously.

 

/IAdmitMostOfItSoundsCornyOner

 

^yep i just brought back the oner

 

I don't know if anyone remembers or has heard of King's X...they're all right, not my favorite band or anything but they have a unique sound. And they're Christian.

 

To qualify what I said about the show in Reno- I don't have a problem with my Christian friends or what they believe right off the bat...I'll hear them out and tell them where I'm coming from, and usually the conversation ends amicably on a "Do you" note. When someone gets on a "You need to be saved or you're going to Hell" trip though, I tell them they might want to look into getting some professional help.

 

Oh yeah, how can we forget about this guy?

 

mc-hammer.jpg

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