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The haiku


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So recently a friend put me on to the art of japanese poetry. It's very simple and fun. The formula is five syllables, seven syllables, then five again.

I propose we all put our creative hats on and supplement Channel Zero with a bit of poetic artistry. Here's some from me.

 

smoke some PCP

launch yourself off that building

I won't tell Jesus

 

yo emo fanboy

what is the deal with girl's jeans?

you look like a dyke

 

Lil John you are rad

I want to drink from your cup

a hip hop chalice

 

tooth dragging blowjob

what is wrong with your girlfriend?

I've had better head

 

Dunkin Donuts treats

a round, tasty confection

jelly filling yeah

 

the hilarity

I hope this thread does not die

do not disappoint

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a wise man once said:

drink from wells others dip in;

you get mouf herpes

 

i take the advice

in one ear, out the other

a stupid old man

 

thank god its friday!

closest watering hole please?

fifth of jack later....

 

i fall from my chair

and wipe the drunk from my eyes..

where the fuck am i?

 

broads everywhere!

the booze brings sudden courage

i take em all home...

 

four hot college sluts?

but once in a million years...

shit gets fucking wild...

 

everything blurry

eat your heart out johnny holmes..

is this nirvanna?

 

fuck heeding advice

go south like a bird i do

i never thought twice...

 

four rubbers later

the five exausted bodies sleep...

old men and their lies...

 

monday sores appear

was i REALLY that thirsty?

ill kill that old man...

 

cursing jack daniels

an epitome is had

think before i drink...

 

zing!

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I

switch up

the number

to increase the

sylable count so

I can expand the range

And hit the peak at seven

but bring it back down to

where I started at

back at the spot

with out words

except

one

 

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-6-5-4-3-2-1

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Sitting at work now

ferocious gas building up

it pierces the air

 

My neighbors nose wrinkles

followed by gagging slightly

looking dazedly

 

His eyes are now crossed

sweat beading on his forehead

trickles of vomit show

 

From his discomfort

I gain the satisfaction

from a well timed fart

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these are some of mine from the haiku thread from like 2 1/2 years ago...

i'll probably do new ones later today...

 

Originally posted by vinyl junkie@Oct 24 2002, 12:13 AM

fifth time from rehab

and you just look hotter... damn...

i just don’t get it...

 

you said you’d buy me

gas or beer, but now i’m out

of gas and not drunk...

 

wish i understood

what you’re saying. for all i

know you’re talking shit...

 

if i paid

could we fuck? really,

i’ll pay you...

(for some reason I was absolutely sure that 3, 5, 3 was also haiku form)

 

sleep was an option,

but that was so long ago...

what the fuck happened?

 

not mine obviously:

 

ninety nine bottles

of beer on the wall. ninety

nine bottles of beer...

 

nightowls know.... but,

what, you ask? if you have to

ask you'll never learn...

 

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watch the snow fall again

this winter will never end

summer is a dream

 

metal guitars rock

I enjoy the fancy shapes

I need a warlock

 

caffeine addiction

I can't stop drinking soda

pop in the midwest

 

lively bubble fizz

my two liter companion

sure beats ghetto juice

 

why is hip hop gay?

baby blue is the new black

go watch Warriors

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I wrote these for my myspace profile about Quake about a year ago.

 

Aim with my boomstick.

An army of zombies, near.

I pull the trigger.

 

 

 

Beyond the Portal

Lies Mister Shub Niggaruth.

Better get the Quad.

 

 

 

Spawn kill me again.

And I will rip your lungs out.

Serious, I am.

 

 

 

Type kill me once more.

Your balls will be mine, good friend.

Try it and die fast.

 

 

It is getting late.

My fingers numb, eyes burning.

Just one more frag, please.

 

 

Many Quake servers,

Empty, alone, and barren.

No llamas around.

 

 

Why have I done this?

Quad, Rocket Launcher, and wall.

These things do not mix.

 

 

So much game-playing.

I have neglected my fridge.

Beef Jerky and Nuts.

 

 

Haugh! Haugh! Haugh! Haugh! Haugh!

Listen to my jump and watch!

I am so active!

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