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The Goats

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Smart, Jun 16, 2002.

  1. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

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    The Goats

    Discussion started by Smart - Jun 16, 2002

    I'm not your typical American, so, I've been really wanting another dog lately, but... maybe I should get a goat too.. anybody ever had a goat?
     
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  2. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

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    When - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    what the hell can a goat be good for?
    i have a dog
    my dog is named elvis
    i love elvis
     
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  3. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Smart - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    well, a friend of mine owned a bar that had a goat named Billy... it used to stand on the fence and demand food at the grill... seemed pretty cool... if a little stubborn...

    I would say my next dog's name, but you kids would bite it... (not you When... but you know...)
     
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  4. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

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    When - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    i thought goats were on a steady diet of tin cans
    hmm learn something new everyday right?
    i had a dog back in the day named Barf
    like Barf in spaceballs.
    'Im a mog! half man half dog'
     
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  5. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Smart - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    my 1st dog... from birth to 15 was Moondog, Moon was the best... then my secong dog, she was the best too... I always have the best dogs... so, why not see how cool my goat could be?

    my friend's dog was Woof
     
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  6. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

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    When - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    NO my dog is the bestest dog ever!
    go ahead get your goat mr. smart :mad:
    i hope you and him are happy
    and i wish you the best :eek:
     
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  7. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Smart - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    I dunno about a boy goat... I like to have girl dogs, because I loves me some bitches...
     
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  8. DvOTeR

    DvOTeR 12oz Junior Member

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    DvOTeR - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    I guess the benefit of a goat is you can milk it?
    I have never had goat milk or goat cheese but i have sure heard of a lot more people eating that then dog milk or dog cheese.:crazy:
     
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  9. I Luv Roo

    I Luv Roo 12oz Member

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    I Luv Roo - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    When I was little, I used to spend the night at a friend's house, and her parents had goats, and they were super fanatics about food and stuff, and they made me drink their goat's milk - and I just remember it being unbearable. I guess it's healthier than cow's milk though. uuugh.
     
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  10. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

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    Smart - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    eeeew.. goats milk sucks... I think you people misunderstand... I don't want to have sex with this thing, just feed it and let it live in my yard (like my ex-girlfriend)...
     
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  11. DvOTeR

    DvOTeR 12oz Junior Member

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    DvOTeR - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    hahaha im sure a goat would be cool to have just as long as it wasn't one of those ones thats holds a grudge, but i heard they chew the fuck out of your grass though.
     
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  12. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    willy.wonka - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    check this out...

    we were at the park one day.."in hawaii"
    and this little girl brings this goat over...she loved it like a dog.trying to play games with it and all..had it on a leash...
    little did she know that it was to become a bbQ speacial.
    shit was wierd...
     
  13. imported_El Mamerro - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    A heartwarming story.

    When I was little (like 5 or 6), me and my big brother had a pet goat. My grandparents had a house up in the PR mountains (where insanity would ensue later in our lives)), where they had all kinds of animals. So they gave us one of their goats, which we named Petunia. She fucking rocked. She'd eat right out of our hands, she loved to be petted, and would generally prance around all over the place. Goats take awesome shits too. They shit in tiny pea-sized balls, which seem to magically appear around their anus and form clusters before falling in neat little clumps. I'm serious, you can't see them actually coming out of their ass, they would just appear so quickly you didn't even know what was happening. But I digress...

    So we were delighted with our goat. We'd play with it every day for about a year, walk her around the neighborhood, etc, until one day my grandpa told me he was taking her back to Jajome (the house in the mountains), for reasons I don't remember. We were so sad... you have no idea how awesome being the only kid in the block with a goat was.

    So a weekend or two afterwards my family goes to Jajome for a big dinner. I was a real picky eater back then, so I didn't give a shit what was being served... all I ate at the time were chicken nuggets. Around dusk or so, the local jíbaros show up in their truck, with a shitload of food, and everyone's setting up the table and shit. One of the guys comes over and says "Hey kid, wanna see something cool?" and I'm like "YEAH!!". So he takes me to the back of the truck, pulls out a 5-gallon paint bucket, and asks me "Are you ready?" I'm shitting my pants with anticipation by now.



    "..."



    Dude proceeds to open the bucket, pulls out a severed goat head from it, by the horns. Its eyes were open, shit's dripping with blood and gore, and lots of fleshy tendrils hang from where the neck was cut. I'm about to scream in fear, until I notice the color markings on the snout match our lovely Petunia's... I run back inside, tears welling up, just to find my family enjoying a lovely goat casserole. THE MOTHERFUCKERS WERE EATING MY BELOVED GODDAMNED FUCKING GOAT.

    Needless to say, I lost a lot of faith in my family that day, and my grandfather sustained a hearty kicking in the shins by an enraged Mamerro. Way to scar a kid for life, fuckers. So the moral of the story is, if you get yourself a goat, make sure no asshole eats it in front of you. Beer,

    El Mamerro

    R.I.P. Petunia
     
  14. yoink

    yoink 12oz Elite Member

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    yoink - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    /
    that hit like a heated up steak knife through butter left out on the kitchen table


    :mad: damn goat murderous bastards
     
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  15. ALLAH NIGGA

    ALLAH NIGGA Guest

    ALLAH NIGGA - Replied Jun 16, 2002

    YOU LET EM YOUR GOAT!?!?

    HAD THAT BEEN ALLAH, ALLAH WOULD HAVE STRAIGHT UP SAID: SAY FOOL, YOU ATE MY GOAT?!? OH YOU DID? OH SHIT YALL EATIN HIM RIGHT INFRONT OF ME!? WE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THIS SHIT OUTSIDE MONEY CAUSE DONT NO ONE FUCK WITH NO GOAT. SHIT HAD SOMEONE FUCK WITH MY GOAT BELIEVE THEY WOULDNT HAVE THE TEETH TO EAT HIM WITH. EVEN IF THAT HOE WAS MY UNCLE