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Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by 7126, Oct 22, 2002.

  1. 7126

    7126 Guest

    The Funny Names List

    An Overly Long Introduction
    It is Baaaack !!!!!!

    The LIST

    If your looking for a long lost laugh when you see a name like Epluribus Mays or April Furst get ready.
    For all of you uninitiated comiconnomenclaturists here is a little introduction.
    This list consists of real names of real people. The names are funny to someone or they would not be included. Some of the names are funny because of region, some are just weird spelling. Some were named by their parents, or themselves, on purpose, some are mistakes.
    The list started when I noticed that computer entry people were keeping their own short lists of names. At the Chicago Police Department Area 4 Detective Division, the computer guy also had a list from the Cook County States Attorney's Office. I typed both up and passed them out. The response was tremendous. It seems that all kinds of people kept their own lists. I got some from the Chicago Board of Education, the Juvenile Court System, private business, hospitals, etc. One lady, from Commerce Clearing House, just sent 250 names.
    Once you are looking for names they pop up all over. For example my dentist, who I've gone to for years, is named Harry Shephard. This I think is funny but I never noticed until I started the list.
    If you have name(s) that you think are funny please E-mail them to me. I will put you on a list to receive the updates, they are infrequent. The only thing I ask is that the names be legitimate. If possible include the whole name, even though only part of the name is funny. If there is something about the name that others would not understand please include an explanation. For example there is a street in Chicago named Irving Park. The fact that the Korean man and the Jewish women had a son and named him Irving Park would only be funny in Chicago.
    Sergeant Les Smulevitz
    Chicago Police Department
    Albany Park, 17th District
    4161 N. Pulaski
    Chicago, Il. 60630

    E Mail: [email protected]

    And Now The List

    .38spec,First name only,her father's first name is Pistol

    Abel Sanchez,His brother is Cain Sanchez

    Adorable Virgie Goody

    Africa S. Bartlett

    Aheavy Hampton

    Aids Wyatt

    Airastede Jones, Pronounced arrested

    Al Rukn

    Al Pacino Smith

    Alabama Vest, Macon, Georgia slave who invented the Kazoo in 1840

    Alan Fierce, Attorney

    Alcodic Plaza

    Alexander S. Flesh

    Alias Comen

    Allen R. Toothaker

    Almighty Four Hundred, This was a legal name change that was used to honor his street gang. Originally named John Smith

    Alphasigmaphi, First name only. The parents certainly take the fraternity thing far

    Alvin Trivelpiece

    Amber Corn

    Amber Bottoms, 3 month old homicide victim

    Amer & Ica, First names only of twins

    America Tripplett

    America Bysa

    Amiable Lottmann

    Annabel Elliot Outhouse, Author of the book Privies on Long Island

    Annette Funicello Miller

    Annoy Lee

    Anthelen Unsel

    Anu & Enu KMT, These two guys were fraternity brothers in KMT. They legally changed their names and opened a vegetarian restaurant Delights of the Garden in Atlanta. This restaurant does not cook any food but serves all of it raw. Another example of the Greek Societies members going nuts

    Apostol Postol

    April May Rains

    April Chowers

    April Showers

    April Furst

    April Love

    April Cott, Sister is June Cott

    April Monday Austin

    Aquamarina Velvet

    Aquarius Waters

    Ar'son Jones

    Areola Jones

    Ari B. Good

    Ariisted Johnson, Pronounced arrested

    Arise Lewis

    Aristotle Schwartz

    Aristotle,Pronounced Arista Lee

    Arizona Rickets

    Arizona Collier

    Arlo K. Funk

    Armand Hammer, U.S. Industrialist, Occidental Oil, who dealt heavily with U.S.S.R.

    Armin Hand

    Armistice Day Richardson, Of course he was born on 11 November

    Artherites Mann, Pronounced Arthritis

    Artimis Bobo, Brother is Starsky Bobo, Sister is Sahara Bobo

    Artist Easter

    Assdrubal Rizzo

    Atherdope Harris

    Atlantis Harvey

    Australia Dykes

    Australia Johnson

    Ava Maria Pasqinelli

    Babbey Johnson

    Baby D. Waits

    Barefoot Sanders, U.S. Judge in Texas

    Barry Metric, don't you wish he was a weatherman

    Basher Naser

    Basil Chessman

    Battle Rankin

    Battleship Gray

    Bea Kuhl

    Beauty L. Carter

    Beauty Mark Lee

    Beco Weedman

    Bee Holy

    Bee Ready, Perhaps a Boy Scout leader?

    Beethoven Askew

    Belch M. Daloon, Female

    Bequethal Brown

    Berestfull Jackson

    Bernard Judge, Editor of the Chicago Daily Law Bulletin

    Bespectacle Anderson

    Bible Brandon

    Big Hands Jackson

    Billy Dilly, Oklahoma bomber Tim McVeigh's Army roommate

    Birdie Korne

    Blossem Isreal

    Blossom White

    Bluta Lumpkins

    Bobcat Rucker

    Boogaloo Payne

    Boy Fredrick

    Brain Cancer, His mother wanted to name him Brian, but spelled it wrong

    Braniff Hover

    Bright Sheng, Pronounced Shine, Composer in Residence, Lyric Opera

    Brown Brothers Harriamn

    Bryant Disco Boozer

    Bugliss Collins Jr.

    Bugliss Collins Sr.

    Bunker Hill

    Bunny Nightwalker Hatcher,Senior Staff Consultant, Human Relations Commission, L.A. County

    Bunny Ann Grabonski

    Burt G. Pohrman, In Oregon bankruptcy court

    Bushair Zuby

    Buster Vinegar

    Buster Hyman

    C. Sewell Weech Jr.

    C.W. Crumpecker Jr.

    Cain Sanchez, Brother of Abel Sanchez

    Caldron Williams

    Caleb Belove

    Calvert Crudup

    Canary Woodland

    Candee Carton

    Candy Clump

    Candy Barr

    Candy Kane

    Capers C. Funnye, Afro-American Rabbi

    Car Richardson

    Carbon Petroleum Dubbs III

    Caress Owens

    Carmel Crisp

    Cashondat Hubbard

    Casino Westly

    Cassius Clay, Not Ali but a child

    Cater Evans

    Cecyle Pickle

    Cellars Jackson

    Chacko, First name only

    Chain Robbins

    Chainti Seals

    Champaigne, age 2
    Chardonay, age 1
    Chablea, age 3 months
    All of these children were abandoned by their mother Shannon Cooper

    Charles Outlaw, He's a car thief

    Charles Terrible, New Jersey Deputy Atty General

    Charlie Clam, High School Counselor

    Charlie Altoona, I wonder what Star Kist would say to him

    Cheers Boozer, Convicted rapist

    Cheri Dan Westmorland

    Cherry Veronica Coke

    Chester Fields

    Chicago Politics all of these guys regularly use the first name of Dick.
    Dick Phelan, Former Candidate for Governor in Illinois.
    Dick Devine, Former Chicago Park District President, recent U.S. Senate Candidate. Used to work in Dick Phelan's law office. Currently Cook County State's Attorney
    Dick Daley, Actually Mayor Daley uses the name Richie or Rich

    Chinette Gilmore

    Choice Eng

    Choral Pepper

    Chris Cross, Works at the U.S. Dept. of Education

    Chris Craft, N.A.S.A. spokesman

    Christian Prince, Yale student, Murder victim

    Chrysanthamun Turnipseed, Brother of Hyacinth

    Chubby Rover

    Ciced Jones, say Secede

    Cicero C. Sessions

    Cicero Unique Gibson

    Cipher "Anderson", He is a famous cryptologist and a professor of mathematics. I am not sure of his last name but his father, who was one of the men that broke the Enigma Code, gave him that first name

    Claimate Franklin

    Claribel Pantotas

    Classic Ganit

    Classy Baily

    Clay Head, Brother of Dick Head

    Clear Huddleston and his younger brother Clair Huddleston

    Clement Harbour, Oak Park Detective

    Clevester Reed, His twin is Levester

    Clevland Brown

    Cliff L. Drinkwine

    Collie Rohme, Perhaps Lassie can find him

    Commodore D. Roberts

    Condor Soaring

    Cornelius Tollfree

    Corvette Burrell

    Cosmic Wonder Crocket

    Courvosier Martell

    Crayon Coles

    Crayonella Smith

    Crazetta Davis, Mother wanted to name her after her dead father, Craig. Craigetta did not sound right to the mother. The father, Craig was killed while fighting with a DEA Agent

    Crystal Clear

    Crystal Seals

    Crystal Bright
    Diamond Bright
    Sparkle Bright
    Merry Joy Bright, all of the same family

    Cuntrenna Wright

    Curly Cration, brother is Timeless Cration

    Curry Oates

    D. Patrick Mullarkey, Dept. of Justice

    Daiquiri Collins

    Daisy Infante-Sampang

    Daisy Field

    Darko Pozar

    Darling Lemon

    Darreng Maiden

    Dartanya Porche

    Dartanyun Riggs

    Dashaund Coleman

    Daury Freese, It would be nice to order a Dip Top cone from him

    Davey Crockett, Male black, rapist

    David Wimp, This guy uses a adding machine to add the number 1 over and over until he gets to a million. This is his hobby

    David Warmflash

    David L. Yunich

    Dean Dickie, An Attorney with the Dick Phelan law firm

    Deathena Barr

    Decal Dyke

    Decatur Duplesses

    Deflector Sears

    Defray A. Calcote

    Delaware Dawkins

    Delerius Woods

    Delight Cherry

    Denman Moody

    Denny Manymules

    Dent Teen Murray

    Deogracias Ruiz

    Depravism Hozier

    Derail Easter, Police Officer, I don't know if it's the same guy but Derail Easter was a motorman on the Loop elevated train in 1976 when his train jumped the tracks

    Detroit Dunn

    Devil A. Drink

    Devon Showers, It seems that Devon killed Belmont while on Sheridan. At another time Devon killed Hubbard, all Chicago Street Names

    Dewana Ball, Dewana is a 260 pound female

    Dewey Drain

    Dexter Duck

    Diamond Bright

    Diamond Robbins

    Diamond Ringold

    Diarria Knox

    Dick Eater

    Dick Head, Brother of Clay Head

    Dill Pickle

    Dimple Dang

    Disire Vasquez

    Dixie Kopp

    Dizzy Bell

    Dobbin Fox

    Dog Doggy

    Don Juan Evans, He is a rape offender

    Doomsday Jones

    Dorcus Withers, Homicide Offender

    Dort Fauntleroy

    Dovey Roundtree

    Dr. Needle, Sorry not an anesthesiologist

    Dr. Kneebone, Chiropractor

    Dr. Waters, Urologist

    Dr. Mangle, Chiropractor

    Dr. Hyman, Gynecologist

    Dr. Morbia, Cardiologist

    Dr. Carver, Forensic Pathologist

    Dr. Clay Hammer

    Dr. Bonebreaker

    Dr. Winke, Optometrist

    Dr. Roger Slaughter, Trauma ward physician at Cook County Hospital

    Dr. M. Cholera

    Dr. Noble Emdee

    Dr. Goldfinger, Gynecologist

    Dr. Renee Hartz, Cardiac Surgeon

    Dry Ice Washington, He says "peoples call me Dry Ice because even though I'm smoking I'm still cool". Dry Ice is his legal name

    Duckey Bill

    Duel Adams

    Dumore Hardman, Most women would love this guy

    Durwood S. Laughinghouse

    Duwana Early

    Dwight Christmas, Convicted rapist

    E. Pluribus Mayes

    Earl E. Bird, Head of an animal rights group

    Early Wynn, Chicago White Sox pitcher

    Earthaline Johnson, Daughters name is Mayola

    Easter Hunt

    Easter Sunday

    Easterbasket Montgomery

    Eater Bush

    Ebony Black

    Ebony Jeans

    Eid Abu Hashish

    Either Davis

    Elevator Hudson

    Eliz Endlicher

    Elwood Cluck, Attorney

    Emma Piggee

    Enola Gay Bender

    Epluribus Mays

    Eric Gotobed, Lives in Little Snoring, England

    Ernest Edsel

    Ether Green

    Ethereal Green III

    Etoyal Farmer Ferguson, Brother of Hosia Farmer

    Eulogi Rivera

    Evangelist Jackson

    Except for Deoder, who owns a beauty shop, and Stank, who I think should contract with Deoder, these names are not that strange but they all came up in the same murder investigation at a beauty shop
    Roosevelt Gator
    Deoder Brown
    Encino Vargas
    Capri Stank
    Queen West

    Excon Scruggs

    F. Lies Camper

    Factory Spears

    Faith Dent

    Famous Jefferson

    Famous Ware

    Famous Stubblefield

    Fang Fang

    Faye McCall Wham

    Felin Quist Rushing

    Fellonise Daniels

    Felon Goodman

    Felony Evans

    Female Johnson, pronounced Fee Molly
    The whole thing with the names Female and Male is interesting. When a child is born and the parents do not immediately give it a name the hospital refers to it as Female or Male with the mother's last name. Many people seem to leave the kid with that name. While working with newborns at Cook County Hospital my wife encountered many kids named Female. She once asked a mother where she found such a pretty name. The mother said that the doctors named the baby and she decided she liked it.

    Fidel Cicero

    Finuf Cacksakker, In Florida bankruptcy court

    Flake Wells

    Flatonia Joiner

    Flavius Freeman

    Flora Goo

    Florida Luster
    Former president, Luster Hair Products, her husband is Precious Luster

    Fong Goo

    Fook Quan Goon

    Forest Nutter, Wisconsin teacher of the year, 1991

    Forest Lovely

    Forest Ranger

    Forrest Hunter

    Forrest Woods, Forrest live on Park Ave. in Forest Park

    Forrest A. Plant

    Forrest Flood

    Forrest Aggie Sales

    Forrget Nicole Leavy

    Fred Fraction

    Fuzzy Hooks

    G. Severe Cole, Attorney

    G.O. Rilla, Initials only

    Gail April Showers

    Galactica L. Pope, nickname Battlestar (sic)

    Gary Cowman, spokesperson, National Cattleman’s Association

    Sherry Marsala

    Viperella Pinkstaff

    Gazzola Vaccaro Jr.

    Gene Poole

    General McArthur Ware, He will not return, he was beaten to death after he climbed into the wrong person's car to sober up.

    General Mack Varner

    Genghis Kahn Harris

    George E. George, George P. George, Brothers

    Geronimo Pagen

    Gimme Rush

    Ginger Snap

    Ginger Sugar

    Glacoma Tamburello

    Glade F. Flake

    Gloria A. Sepsis, In hospital for a chronic infection

    God Coleman

    Godzilla Gorilla Pimp Hunter, 3 year old

    Goldeen Bell

    Golden Butts

    Golden Brown

    Gonorrhea Jones

    Gordon Babyruth Fred

    Grady Guilty

    Green Flowers, Cop killer

    Greene Black, D.D.S., Southern IL. dentist who is considered the Father of Modern Dentistry, perhaps the name refers to the color of teeth

    Guilty Blake

    Ha Ho, Arson Victim

    Haawiaa Cherokee

    Haley Rainey, His nickname is Lightning

    Halitosis Harris

    Hammer Budge, S.E.C. Chairman

    Handel You

    Handsome Johnson

    Handy Cheeks Jr., Convicted rapist

    Hans Christian Anderson, His nickname is "Executioner" he is a memeber of the El Rukn Street Gang

    Happy Camp

    Hardy Buzzard

    Harmut Broghammer

    Harron Honey, Tasty sounding isn't it?

    Harry F. Twickler

    Harry Port, He was convicted of killing his lesbian wife

    Harry Seals

    Harry Flower

    Harry Shepard

    Hehirtus Bryan

    Heidi Doody

    Hendon Chubb

    Henry Chin Goo

    Herrestine Burns

    Hiawatha Cherry

    Hiawatha Moss

    Hightower Smith

    Hillard Homes, The same name as a group of Housing Authority buildings in Chicago

    Ho Ha

    Ho-Wing Sit

    Homer Goforth Homer, 1989 man with the worst driving record in Illinois

    Homicide Byrons

    Honey Combs

    Hornsby Mims

    Hu Suk, Female Korean

    Huffing Williams

    Hugh Munn, He is the South Carolina Law Enforcement spokesman

    Hugh B. Sweet

    Hum Lewis

    Hung Wang

    Hurrah Johnson

    Hy Wind, Past president of a synagogue

    Hyacinth Turnipseed

    Hyacinths R. Turnips, This is an alias used by Hyacinth Turnipseed

    I. Itchinose

    I’m trying to work up a car thing, this is all I have so far.
    Steven Buick, shot & killed his 7 year old son in Villa Park, Il.
    Dean Olds, accused of arranging the murder of his wife in Wilmette, Il.

    Illinois Turner

    Ima Hogg, This one is the daughter of a former Governor of Texas. I don't know if she is also the pianist. I have an unconfirmed name of Ura Hogg who is supposed to be Ima’s sister

    Ima Hogg, Famous Pianist

    Ima Birdwhistle

    Iona Ford

    Irather Morse

    Iris Flowers

    Irish Greene

    Irish Green

    Iron Moon

    Iron R. Tootle, Owner Tootle Oil Co.

    Irony & Omen, Brothers, first names only, the parents planned on having a girl. The name they chose for her was Despairing Mist

    Irwin Fuchsadoff

    Itch Baines

    Ivory Snow

    Iwona Kus

    J. Gaylord Cox, Former U. of I. professor, Gay Rights activist

    J.B. Dataway

    Jack Plum, his sister is Jill

    Jack Ripper, Representative from Oregon

    Jacqueline Around

    Jagoff Jackson, Auto thief

    Jail Soria

    Jamshed Butt, N.Y. cab driver that got stiffed on a fare from JFK to Troy, Michigan. The fare was $2,000. plus $250. in traffic tickets

    Jar Hompungphoo, Twin brother of Jas

    Jaun L. Person

    Jaundice Mahaffea

    Jeffery Falick, rabbi

    Jerre Birdsong

    Jesse James, Three guys by that name currently live in Chicago

    Jesse James, This Jesse is the Treasurer of the State of Texas

    Jill Plum, brother is Jack Plum

    Joe Friday , Head of the National Weather Service

    Joel Dollarhide, accountant

    John Yesno

    John Outhouse

    John Sukup Jr.

    John E. Grayson, Sister is Johnny Grayson

    John Hotwang

    John Knowles Payne

    John Outlaw, Cook County Sheriffs Deputy

    Johnnie Walker Redd

    Juana Lick

    Judge Jolly, A judge in California

    Judge Hardy, Police officer

    June Cott, Sister is April Cott

    Jungle L. Taylor

    Justice Marshal Smith

    Justin Case, Instructor at Brother Rice High

    Jutwan Ray, say Jew Town

    Juvenile Hall Lewis Jr.

    Kalliopi Zafriratos

    Kane Garreau, Is he from the land down under?

    Kanshica and Kinshica, Twin sisters

    Kelly Green

    Kenneth Payment, Attorney

    Kenya Cook

    Kieth Penis, This was his name as listed on an arrest report for a Sex Crime. It turned out his real last name was Penex

    King David Washington

    King George Frisby

    King David Nolen

    Kingsley Fink

    Kissa Bonner

    Kitty Chow

    Knowledge Clark Jr.

    Korea Berry

    Kris Kringle

    Kumsuk Saringer, Her boyfriend broke her jaw

    Lacy Clay

    Lacy Hair

    Lacy Armour

    Lance Boyle

    Lane Laneboys

    Laone Willes

    Lapunzel Wade

    Largeaanpa Covington

    Larry Derryberry, Oklahoma Attorney General

    Larry Moe, I hope his brother is named Curly

    Lasagna Blanks

    Lastime Ratcliff

    Latarshit Jackson

    Latherio Meadows

    Latraviata Woodhouse

    Latreat Riddle

    Latrine Gather

    Latrine Philpott

    Lavoris Dorsey, Mother of Abandit Dorsey

    Lavoris Jones

    Lawyer Sykes

    Lawyer Helen

    Learned Hand, Judge

    Lee Lovelady

    Legover Moses

    LeGrande Poor

    Lemon Works, Former high ranking Chicago Police official

    Lemonia Works, Daughter of Lemon Works

    Lepoleon Swopes

    Lesbia Martinez

    Lethal Hayes

    Levester Reed, Brother of Clevester Reed

    Libra Scales

    Lichard Wilson

    Light Keeper, Maintenance man for J.C. Penney's. One of his job was to change the bulbs

    Lilly White

    Lilly Easter, Killed her 2 year old foster son

    Lionel Tiger, Naturalist

    Litt Spears

    Little Anthony Billups

    Little Redhouse

    Lolly Popp
    Sody Popp. Sisters

    Lorelei Paradise

    Lothar Vashoz

    Lotta Fish, The L. Fish chain of furniture stores in Chicago started by her husband in the 1870's. Guess what the L. stood for.

    Love Lovelace

    Love Everlasting Jones

    Lovie Perkins

    Lovlace G. Love

    Lowe Myles, He’s a radio producer, not a used car salesman

    Loyal Byrd

    Luckie Clutse

    Lucy Lacy

    Lullaby Hill

    Luncheon Sails

    Luntine Bobo

    Lyle Kyle

    Magazine Christy

    Mahesh Dikshit

    Maim Sugermayer

    Major Senior Sr.
    Major Senior Jr.

    Major Downer

    Manuel Soberanus

    Maple Knight

    Marc Loveless, 1st openly gay appointee to Cook County Human Rights Commission

    Marcella Fullilove

    Marco Polo Cantu

    Marijuana Pepsi Jones

    Mariola Arriola

    Marquess Queensbury

    Marshall Gun

    Martell Lee

    Martini Meeks

    Marvelous Suddeth, Murderer

    Marvil S. Summer

    Mary Christmas

    Maryland Kitchen

    Matthew Rambottom

    Mavrick Thigpen

    Maximillian Hell, Jesuit Priest, teacher of Machiavelli

    Maya Kolpa, Politician

    Mayola Reynolds, Mother is Earthaline

    Meander Franklin

    Melody Heard

    Mentis Non Compis

    Mercedes Bens

    Mercedes Pink

    Mercedes Byberg and her sister Lexis Byberg

    Merry Christmas & Noel Christmas, Twins

    Merry Joy Bright

    Midnight Coleman

    Mike Stonebreaker, Middle line backer, Chicago Bears football team

    Million Aire

    Milton Bradley, Witness to a homicide, probably learned that life is not a game

    Ming T. Merciless, At least that is the name this person used when registering his car and getting license plates #CYS438

    Minnie Pig

    Minnie Storey

    Minnie Kidds

    Minor Wisdom, U.S. Circuit Court Judge in Tennessee

    Mirrer Peek

    Mona Lisa Bush

    Monte Carlos, Radio Producer, KQED in S.F.

    Montreal Blakeley

    Mortisha Byrd

    Motel Moorehead

    Mousa Tineh

    Muffy Lemieux

    Mumtaz Japanwalla, She calls herself Jane

    Muse O. Salami

    Muthill Maddox

    Mutt Standefer

    Myrtly Quay Spain

    Nacurvie Smith

    Naket Reggs

    Napoleon Washington

    Narcissus Love

    Narley Criss

    Nature Lawrence
    Casanova Johnson
    Utopia Edwards
    Sparkles Wages
    All of these children attend the same school, same grade

    Neamon Beamon, Burglar

    Nefriteria Webb

    Nevada Romance Harris

    Nick Odeamas, "Litn'n" on the Amos and Andy television show

    Noble Dick

    Nosmo King, Not related to Nosmoking Jones

    Nosmoking Jones

    Notorious Ellis

    Notrial S. Clark

    Null & Boyd, Law firm in Boston, a partnership between Jessica Null and Maria Boyd

    Nympha Maturi

    Olympia Snow, Member House of Representatives from Maine

    Omar Sharif Ford, 15 year old caught with a fully automatic 30 shot TEC 9 assault pistol

    Ommen Brown

    One Cancel Jr.

    One Nite O. Love Washington

    Ontario Wilkins

    Opehelia Pullett

    Ora L. Thomas

    Oralique Solia

    Orange Apple

    Orange Washington

    Orapin Duangplay

    Oscar Omar Avila Wong

    Outlay H. Meyer

    Overby Williams

    P. Yu

    Page Belcher

    Paige Turner

    Palto Foufas

    Paris Singer, not Piaf but of the Singer Sewing Machine Family

    Paris Brewer, Murderer

    Pashon Prude

    Passion Fullilove

    Passion Blue

    Pat Mummey, Coroner, Spokane Washington

    Patsy Dena Hill

    Pearly White, Afro-American school principal

    Pee Wee Ching

    Peeper Leeper

    Penney Candy Rivers

    Penny Ury

    Percival Pretti

    Percy Pleasent Love

    Perpetual Levy

    Perry Dice

    Pete & Repete, Identical twin brothers

    Peter Wacker

    Peter Sackrider

    Pharmecca Posley

    Phebruary, first name only

    Philander Hopkins, Home invader of the elderly

    Philander Rodman, Dennis Rodman's, of basketball fame, father. Philander has 27 children. He currently is living with 2 wives and 15 children in the Philippines

    Philandred Spears

    Philmore Iskowich

    Phines Kennedy, Say finest

    Phlimsey Head

    Phylistine King

    Picabo Street, pronounced Peek a Boo, U.S. Olympic Gold Medal Skier

    Pink Oliphant

    Pinkey Jones

    Pither Webster

    Placenta Harris

    Placenta Jones

    Plato Papps

    Plato Foofas

    Pleasant Weathers

    Please Ransom Jr.

    Pleasent Moon

    Pleasure Heard

    Polysteen Nettles

    Ponder Riley

    Poppin Cox

    Possible Crawford

    Precious Valentine

    Precious Ivy

    Pretti Patel

    Preventive Johnson

    Price Topping

    Price Gaines Jr.

    Primitave Mercado

    Primrose Battle Jr.

    Prince Moon, sister is Princess Moon

    Prince Smooth

    Princess Pimpinella Hohenholoe

    Proffesor Resto

    Progress Always Lloyd, North Carolina bank robber

    Prosper Raymond

    Purification Pastor, Rapist

    Pussy Flowers

    Pye R. Squire

    Quarter Harris

    Queen Ester Washington

    Queen Ester Green

    Queen Estelle Bishop

    Queen Love

    Queen Cuellar

    Queen Green

    Queenielove E. Minor

    Quittin Watts

    Quovadis Nabors

    Quovadis Davis

    Rabbi Brief, Rabbi is his tittle, I do not know his first name. We can only hope his sermons are such

    Raisen Caine

    Randy Radish

    Rapfew Daniel

    Raphead Lopez

    Rattler Hatful

    Reapunzel Wade

    Regina Hoover

    Reginald Absorbine Jr.

    Regional Aldridge

    Rev. Manger

    Reverend, Elder E. Toaster, International Church of God. The side of his van reads, "Known Internationally as E.T."

    Rich Mann

    Rich Port

    Richard Shiting

    Richard Bodyfelt

    Rick O'Shea

    Ricky Raspberry

    Rip Van Johnson

    Risque Beavers

    River, Leaf, Rain, Liberty, and Summer Phoenix
    All of the same family, River is the actor, Leaf is the brother the rest are sisters

    Roach Lee

    Robert Krophol

    Rocky Craft

    Roderick Guilty

    Roland Burglar

    Rollin Hoard

    Ronald McDonald

    Ronald Bedgood

    Ronald Dickover

    Ronald Williams II, Brother of Ronald Williams III

    Ronly Bonly Johnson, His real name is R.B. Johnson but some bureaucrat said initials have to be followed by the word “only”

    Rope Jeffries

    Rose Cohen

    Rose Bowels

    Rose Budd Redish

    Rosie Redd

    Rosie Cheeks, While she was locked up in Cook County Jail she still managed to get pregnant

    Rotunda McClain

    Rotunda Davidson

    Ruby Sunshine

    Ruby Duckins

    Ruffles Brown

    Rufus Raspberry

    Rufus T. Firefly, This was a character name used by Groucho Marks but some poor person has this for their real name

    Rupert Roach, Arrested with a small amount of cannabis

    Rush Lyons, Nickname "Crazy Lips'

    S.E. Senior Sr.

    Safety Furst

    Sahara Bobo, Sister of Starsky and Artimis

    Saint Mary Harris

    Salem S. Salem, Guess his middle name

    Salmineo Jones

    Sam Duckhoon

    Samuel Camel, Armed Robber

    Sandy Sea

    Santa Claus, According to his State ID Card he lives in Winter Wonder Land, IL. and on the Pana Reindeer Farm in Pana, IL.

    Sayonara Bey

    Schmeara O'Donnell

    Scone Blazer

    Scoot Falkner

    Scott Towle

    Seaborn Buckalew

    Semaj Reynolds, Mother's current boyfriend, but not the father of the child, wanted the baby named after himself, James. Mother thought under the circumstances the backwards James would be funny

    Semetric B. Zims

    Sendor Lumpkin

    Sensious Brinson

    September Melody Seals

    Shanda Lear

    Shandtanta Jackson, Twin sister is Shandtnana

    Shed Willis

    Shenoon Shy

    Shep Heard, Police Sergeant

    Sherman Tankskey

    Sheryee Harddick, sister of Luevater Harddick

    Shiney B. Brown

    Shirley A. Bushyhead

    Shirley I. Truly

    Shitanya Robinson

    Shonda Synthia Burgess, In Yiddish the word Shonda means an "embarrassment"

    Shonda Leer, The parents pronounce it Chandelier

    Shonice Johnson, She says Sure Nice

    Shuggie Otis

    Shunion Shine

    Shyny, First name only

    Signora Jona

    Silester Gilty, Police Chief, Ford Heights Il.

    Sinbad Abdula

    Sing N. Nigger

    Sir Lancelot Williams

    Sirloin Satisfield

    Skip Collector, Associate Director, The John Laroquette Show

    Sleety Barnes

    Smokey Forester, Sound mixer Universal Studios

    Snow White Tamayo

    Snow White, This young lady worked with my daughter at the Disney Store in a mall near Austin, Tx.

    Somchit Inthisack

    Soo N. Choo

    Space George

    Sparkle Bright

    Sparkle Hayter, She is a reporter at CNN

    Sparkle Champion

    Spongetta Brown

    Spotswood I. Qimby

    Spotsworth Christmas III

    Springfield Reifel

    Starlette Jones, Assistant Attorney General, Baltimore County

    Starr Saphire, Ornithologist

    Starsky Bobo

    Stereo Stewart

    Sterling Gunn, Chicago Police Officer

    Sterling Price

    Steve Aquafresca, Apple grower and State Representative, Grand Junction, Colorado, Led a fight over water rights

    Stillborn McGhee

    Stone Lively

    Sue U. Dinkelspiel

    Sue Sun Shine, Sally Sun Shine, Sisters

    Suing Davis

    Sumner Slichter, Economist

    Sun Cheary Griffin

    Sun Tan, Burglary Offender

    Sunday Folks

    Sunny Cloud, Atlanta housewife who packages home drug test kits for parents to use on their kids

    Sunny Diane Bluing

    Sunsary Bryant

    Superior McNair

    Surbees Clark

    Swing Dickey

    Tad Manlove vs. Sterling Lemon, A court case

    Taffie Kitchell

    Takik D. Snipes

    Tape Williams

    Tatsuya & Atsuya, sisters, first names only

    Taylor Wines, Federal Judge. I truly hope not in Northern New York District

    Teeth Hunter

    Tekila Robinson, Mothers name is Tijuana

    Temperance Woods

    Tera Sunder

    Terrain Walker

    Terrance Figures

    Terry Cherry

    Thakton Hemlock

    The C. Sargent

    Thee Weathers

    Theopholis Baldman

    Thomas Goldtooth Begay

    Thumneater Davis

    Thye Law

    Tiarra Tops

    Tiffany & Taffany, Twin sisters, first name only

    Tijuana Robinson, Daughter of Tekila

    Tillie Willie Zeiss

    Timeless Cration, Brother of Curly

    Tiyapholiniece Dingle

    Tomaine R. Grissom

    Tondria Green, Mother of Retondria Green

    Topsey Jean Glantz

    Toronto Brooks

    Torreton Reap

    Toyland Lewis

    Toyota Crudup

    Treemist Franklin

    Triage Patterson

    Trivia Hinton

    Trygve Lie, U.N. Secretary General, 1946

    Twin Baber

    Tyzauntie Danials

    Ubiquitous Perpetuity, A California nudist who says God gave him this new name

    Udon Givafux, I have his mugshot and his expression matches his last name.

    Uinckley Franklin

    Ulfoncle Gilot

    Umit Kapan

    Under White

    Undrains Hall

    Unique Hills

    Urban Queen

    Urinal Martin

    Urinalysis Scott

    Valance Butcher

    Valiant Brown

    Vandel Victors

    Varmit Nelson

    Vathansombat Kanniga, Afro-American female

    Vaya Condios Shuman, Law Review Editor

    Vendetta Shavers

    Venitian Samples

    Vern Fern

    Vestibule Hall

    Vicki Fucks, Manager at Midwest Magazine Services for WorkBench Magazine

    Victory Island

    Victory Pearl Harbor Island Jr.

    Vincent Money, Theft Victim

    Virgin Marrero

    Virgin Fullalove

    Virginal Hollis

    Vodka Johnson

    Wadsworth Likely

    Wae Phoe, Whenever police ask his name his answer causes upset

    Wagdi Anis

    Waggoner Carr, Texas Attorney General

    Wakkevil Moore

    Walasuckrylai Piscit

    Walter Balls

    Walter Restored Jones Jr.

    Wammie Wilkins

    Wanna Sugreekunt

    Waving Ware

    Wax & Artificial Flower, Twins

    Wayland Dong

    Weedo Dingledein Dasho

    West Woon

    Whatcha McCallum

    Whit Cornman, spokesperson, United States Grains Council

    White Folks Burns

    Wigfall James

    Will Lee Jones, Brother of Willie Jones

    William Wayne Justice, U.S. District Court Judge for Northern Texas

    William Crock

    Willie B. Long

    Willie D. Shine

    Willie Warship, Dope Dealer

    Willie Bandit

    Willie Oneway

    Willie Die

    Willy Billy Guinea

    Wilton Sogg

    Wince Collins

    Wix Unthank

    Wonderful Terrific Monds, Plays Triple A baseball for the Macon Braves and was their top prospect for 1995

    Woodser Ann Chocolate

    World B. Free, NBA player nee Lloyd A. Free

    Worthy Seaman

    Wrencher Perez

    Wyatt Earp, Currently lives in Monmouth, Il.

    Yahynass Tubbs

    Young Boozer Jr.

    Youranice Campbell

    Zhiavago Rambo

    Zippidy Doda Day Jr.
    Zippidy Doda Day Sr.
    One of my co- workers received a crime report to follow up on. Zippidy Doda Day was named as a robbery victim. The detective thought someone was playing a practical joke on him. He called the phone number listed in the report and asked for Zippidy Doda Day. The lady that answered asked him if he wanted junior or senior.

    Zowie Bijarro, I spoke with his father, who was a stabbing victim. He said that Zowie was named in honor of David Bowie's son

    Zucchini McCoy

    :D :D
  2. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 10,006 Likes Received: 28
    my brain hurts.
  3. evilistic

    evilistic Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 22, 2001 Messages: 3,554 Likes Received: 0
  4. DOLR....LED

    DOLR....LED Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2002 Messages: 675 Likes Received: 1
    wow...you must be bored........
  5. 7126

    7126 Guest

    yup really bored....i slept all day 2day since i came home from school...and now i cant sleep and its 12:20AM.. :eek:
  6. DOLR....LED

    DOLR....LED Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2002 Messages: 675 Likes Received: 1
  7. dahighlifdhl

    dahighlifdhl Senior Member

    Joined: May 4, 2002 Messages: 1,430 Likes Received: 0
  8. When

    When 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 4, 2000 Messages: 10,294 Likes Received: 3
    since i read through all that crap i felt the need to respond...
  9. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,363 Likes Received: 299

    i told her slut mom it wasn't mine.
  10. fizm

    fizm Member

    Joined: Apr 9, 2002 Messages: 573 Likes Received: 0
    could somebody crop that list down to the ones that might actually be mildly amusing?
  11. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2002 Messages: 7,042 Likes Received: 2
    my ADD kicked in after only six or so names....were there any names that actually were funny?
  12. spec

    spec Guest

  13. harry

    harry Junior Member

    Joined: Feb 10, 2002 Messages: 218 Likes Received: 0
    i went to school with a guy called andrew bateson..even the teachers called him master bateson and !!!!! he lived in hand street !!! honest
  14. socrates

    socrates Guest

    This was posted by a cop???????????
  15. ~KRYLON2~

    ~KRYLON2~ 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 13, 2001 Messages: 10,443 Likes Received: 192
    thats a fucking novel