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The French

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Catch22, Mar 11, 2003.

  1. Catch22

    Catch22 Guest

    Some quotes on the French:

    "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." ---Mark Twain

    "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
    --- General George S. Patton

    "I just love the French. They taste like chicken!"
    ---- Hannibal Lecter

    "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
    --Norman Schwartzkopf

    While speaking to the Hoover Institution today, Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was asked this question:
    "Could you tell us why to date at least the Administration doesn't favor direct talks with the North Korean government? After all, we're talking with the French."
    The Secretary smiled and replied:
    "I'm not going there!"

    "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
    ---- Marge Simpson

    There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.'

    "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"
    ---Jay Leno

    "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
    ---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

    "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
    --Conan O'Brien

    How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
    One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.
  2. xKillmodEx

    xKillmodEx Guest

    --French Are Dirty, I Like Them Most For Their Kisses--
  3. I doubt you had ever thought about ‘the French’ or even France for that matter until you saw a TV report telling what nasty people they are for not letting america kill other nasty people. A bit of state sponsored xenophobia is always fun isn’t it? Hey they’re all foreign, speak some weird language, probably terrorists! And then joy of joys you get an email filled with spurious and bigoted quotes that you can post on a message board to try and look vaguely intelligent…….
  4. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 21,803 Likes Received: 41
    id rather be sipping wine in the riveria than eating mcdonalds...
  5. villain

    villain Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2002 Messages: 5,190 Likes Received: 2
    propaganda schmopaganda.... i trust nothing but grassroot samizdat. at least you know that is not under the influence of a worlds worth. i don't even always trust that. why i question everything. this drives me crazy.
  6. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    The French won't help us in our pointless war, so we'll launch a tyrade of abuse at them in the hopes that they change their minds. What a bunch of babies.....:rolleyes:

    Although that Conan quote was pretty funny....
  7. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    say word!

    I love the nasty french image.
    Sleazy, drunken, chain smoking, womanizing bastards.

    Sounds like I'm French too!
  8. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    oh.... and dont forget to hate the Russians too!
  9. Catch22

    Catch22 Guest

    Relax...don't get your panties in a bunch. Try laughing a little.
  10. !@#$%

    [email protected]#$% Moderator Crew

    Joined: Oct 1, 2002 Messages: 18,517 Likes Received: 623
  11. xKillmodEx

    xKillmodEx Guest

    --Conan Could Kill Conan--
  12. http://www.esquilax.com/flag/burn2.gif'>

  13. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    i fyou were in france you could sip wine and have your wine. Yum mac sauce and Zin.
  14. french(canadian) women are hot!
  15. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2
    ^ that could be my new signature!