----->> The Critique Thread *****

Not Safe For Toys. This thread is for advanced writers looking for crits on their work from other technically sound writers. Not to be confused with the new sketch thread, this thread is for giving and receiving crits on sketches, outlines, whatever.

post em up, speak up, and have selective hearing. ;)

great idea for a thread... good example here...

simply bold the persons name whom you are critiquing their work... no need to quote pictures 10 times...

hopefully this thread works out... :cool:

Today I just finished this...

 

I don't usually flat-out ask for criticism but I'm genuinely curious what people think. This is where I've evolved to. I'm going for a style that is kind of old-school clashing with calligraphy and something modern. I've been working on hands and letters for a long time now. Honest, helpful crits of where I'm at with this type of thing right here is appreciated, especially on the composition of the letters and the handie. I'd like to think my color choices, concepts and characters are pretty much on point but if you see flaws there with the overall composition, let me know. I'm trying to build and appreciate any crits that will get me there.

 

I think you need to work more on your letter structure and consistency across your letters, looks like your S belongs to a different piece, and your E is not as heavy as the rest, for example.

 

Looks like you design each letter individually, whereas I'd like to see more integration through out with the shapes and structure. There isn't an overall flow to this piece, its just "letter" "letter" "letter" "letter", I think if you flex harder, and wild-out more and take more risky and daring lines, while at the same time dialing it back a bit in terms of complexity (both in terms of letter shape, and chunks and bits and arrows etc), you'll find great success.

 

Make your loops and kicks bigger, more crazy, use visual weight and negative space to your advantage, theres a lot of awkward negative space in this piece between your letters.

 

Technically you can draw very well, your perspective 3D is on point, a very difficult style of 3D to do well, i might add.

 

Keep it up though!

The 's' i think is the best, be good to see you put that style into all your letters man it would look sweet.

also the characters i dont feel fit in so much but thats prob just me

in my opinion, looks fresh, just something about the top of the S area around the T's top left bar and the stars, it doesn;t seem balanced with the other side. maybe you needed to reposition the starts to fill in the gap. or make the one close to center bigger.

 

or maybe its the characters that make it feel unbalanced, you have two characters on the more busy side, when i think if you had two on the other it might feel more balanced overall. or maybe its the purple guys pointing arm that makes me feel this way. Just a thought.

 

 

 

and alts, god damn dude, that fill is sexy, and feelin the letters too.

The major problem with that is the large gap between the s and a. Try to swing the top of the s up to fill the gap. Also that e doesn't work at all. Look at the kick out on the s and do the sand thing with the e. It will help with the balance problem.

i wouldnt say im super toy but i definitly could fuck wit a couple crits

Shit's pretty on point. The biggest thing I see is your extensions making letters look like other letters.

First image, bottom blue piece... I looks like an E.

Last one, bottom middle yellow piece... M looks like an S. I always make a point to force extensions to be smaller in the connection if it could possibly change the letter to look like another letter. Aside from that, I'm sure people better than me could give better advice.

i definitely agree with satire... and try playing with that style in the last pic you posted... good work

it's definitely gonna need some more arrows.

jk of course, i have no business in here.

ight so basicly the verdict is watch my extensions

Just make the extensions flare out more instead of staying almost 90 degree angles. And try some backgrounds, although I should be giving myself that piece of advice also. And just keep getting wilder. You seem to have the basic letter structure down to make it happen.

Haven't sketched for about 2 years. Came up with a new name and this is my first (rough) sketch with it. tag is "nflmo" which is a corruption of "enfermo" which is spanish for "sick". Idk you guys let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions for coloring (i was never that good with the colors) Also this is my first post in this forum. respect.

i think it looks kind of unrefined, but that can be fixed by doing that same type outline over and over until it comes naturally to you. The bottom extensions are a little over-exaggerated/overworked, personal preference only.

sketch that like 5-10 more times and post up the newest one, i bet it looks a lot faster/smoother than the last one you posted.

*edit - this is basically the same advice that was given to me recently, thought i would share it. I found it useful and practical.

thanks for the tip, i've always kind of liked having a more abstract view on letters, not go straight for legibility, more for the art and flow of the letters per se. I'll try a few other sketches as i get drawing again, shaking off the rust. Not a bad start though

your letters are not distinct if u didnt tell us that that said nflmo i dont n e wun would have guessed it.... i thought the N was an R the F was an E and the rest i duno they could be n e thing....

it ain't about the fame or the name. I play the game. but thanks for the tip, as i said, i like that the letters are abstract, the artists that inspire me the most have letters that are barely recognizable.

i think the N connector and second middle bar in the F should be fatter... that would make them more legible but if your not going for that just ignore it... overall i like it keep at it

i definitely agree man, but i was really struggling with the n since it's the first letter and i just couldn't pick it up, i don't know if you feel me. I couldn't find the right one to anchor the piece. So i kept drawing and erasing until i came up with this one. The F i totally should have made to have a fatter middle bar, it would look a lot better. lets hope these things improve as i keep sketching, thanks for the post.

all these things could be easily adjusted over time if you just sketch, sketch, sketch that outline.

The kinks will work themselves out in time, truss.

this isnt a usual UMNO style for me, but i draw alot n play around mixin up shit from over the years with new ideas. when i paint it, it will be 3 dimentional, but to be honest im mad unskilled at shadin 3d's n hav only atempted to paint a 3d once many years ago ... lookin fer any critisism..

umno: i dont like the letters but i think the trex is promising..

read the first post.... this isnt forr toys take that to the toy thread.... this is for writers with a grasp of letter structure and advanced writers who need ideas to further push their styles

umno: i sadly have to agree with the others... theres no letter structure whatsoever there. i cant even force myself to see letters in that blob of nails or whatever it is... nice shark tho...

stuckhere:nice piece im just not feeling the long extended bars from the beginning and end coming out of the M and the R

daamn ur rite, i got absolutely no letter structure in that piece, only i can read it, prob. cuz its all in my mind....

stuckhere, i would say dont stick with only str8 lines mix it up with small bends n curves, .. i c wher ur going w/ semetry but maybe visualize ur letters dancing with eachother, flowing, instead of againt eachother...

nflmo - I would ease back on the fiddly bits in the letters, especially if you are just starting with those letters, get that solid structure down and then build it up, always gonna get props for solid simples over over elaborate stuff that is missing something.

umnoid - to me it looks traced, I know it probably isnt but it has that traced feel to it. Plus there is zero structure in there as you admit, if you are having problems with 3D shading start working up from spheres and cubes etc til you can get the complexities of shading multi layered curved letters.

I would postup some pics but I know what i need to do with my style and just gotta keep working at it lol

Stuckhere - there leters are all there and good structure etc, what I would say is maybe tone back the little extensions bits everywhere, now you have solid letters you can start playing with the structure etc no need for a solid width all the way through if you can use thinner and fatter parts to creat more flow, try not having the letters as stood up straight, try and get the flow of the letters into each other and play with the space the letters are in

^^^hmm, traced? like i str8 copied sum1 elses work?? nvrthat!! i sketch in pencil always and once ther looks to be no mistakes i go over finaizing it in blk ink & very rarely color sketches.

this is a usually used style of mine... it reads "UMNO" short for umnoid which derives from "humanoid". anyway, i personaly feel i accomplished something with this one, but it seems im one of the very few that feel this way and i cant get to the bottom of, why?... i painted it and it came out identical to the sketch w/ diff colors, not sure if i should post the painted version.....

oh, in tha bottomish right portion, in pencil, is umno written th exact way it reads in the piece, incase you cant find my letters..

Some people can pull off that squiggly style. I don't see it with your posts thus far. Sorry... no hate.

Handies are pretty weak. Take it from someone who knows. Because my handies are my weakest area by far.

Can you do actual letters or is this squiggly mess the only thing you do? I'm really trying not to sound ugly but it's hard. Sorry...

But that shark is excellently drawn, though.

lol

Going to revise this sketch, a breakdown on every aspect would be seriously appreciated.

^^^haha yesssssss!!^^^ @EBA, my handies r garbage i admit.. its because i switch it up so much n never practice 1 handstyle.. but, yeah i got sum st8 letters legible tech type of work, heres a couple, i dont really wanna fill this thread up w/ my pages tho

SEV... you know you my man... the one thing that I've always felt like hasn't worked in your stuff is the little thin extensions. I'm not saying you shouldn't do them. I've just never seen you really freak them in a way I felt worked. I really think the letters, coloring, 3D and background work here... I don't know how to tell you how to make 'em better. And I could just be a crazy moron idiot retard. So... there you have it.

I like those better... I mean, it's not my style and I wouldn't fuck with that kind of thing but that first one works for me. Bear in mind I usually don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.