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the christmas train

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by HESHIANDET, Mar 22, 2005.

  1. HESHIANDET

    HESHIANDET Guest

    A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen
    listening to her son playing with his new electric train in the living
    room.
    She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches

    who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And
    all
    of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train,

    cause we're going down the tracks."

    The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of
    language
    in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay
    there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train,

    but I want you to use nice language."

    Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing
    with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son
    say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember
    to
    take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us
    today
    and hope your trip was A pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us
    again
    soon."

    She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we
    ask
    you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember that
    there
    is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and
    relaxing
    journey with us today."

    As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who
    are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the
    kitchen!"
     
  2. slave_one

    slave_one Elite Member

    Joined: Apr 4, 2003 Messages: 2,745 Likes Received: 2
  3. source

    source Junior Member

    Joined: Dec 24, 2004 Messages: 167 Likes Received: 0
  4. Turd Ferguson

    Turd Ferguson New Jack

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 88 Likes Received: 0
    As a teenager, one of my great past-times, was sitting on the stoops outside of stores chewing gum. I would toss the gum onto the sidewalk and watch people step in it.
     
  5. mackfatsoe

    mackfatsoe Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 6,532 Likes Received: 168
    nice little story. made me smile.
     
  6. Neskoner

    Neskoner New Jack

    Joined: Jan 6, 2003 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 1
    damn..that one touched the heart.
     
  7. KYU

    KYU Member

    Joined: Feb 20, 2004 Messages: 437 Likes Received: 0
    hah, clever
     
  8. johnny

    johnny Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Feb 15, 2003 Messages: 7,231 Likes Received: 16
  9. InnerCityRebel

    InnerCityRebel Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 19, 2002 Messages: 8,297 Likes Received: 117
  10. Grimes

    Grimes Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 11, 2004 Messages: 5,160 Likes Received: 193
  11. AORAone

    AORAone Veteran Member

    Joined: Feb 7, 2003 Messages: 6,460 Likes Received: 32
    man, its been awhile since i heard that one. definitly a classic.
     
  12. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14

    good idea
    a fun thing i do, is put cigarette butts into public trash cans instead of ashtrays whenever possible
     
  13. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    still lit of course.

    always fun
     
  14. smokejuda

    smokejuda Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2003 Messages: 611 Likes Received: 0
    i lit a recliner on fire that was sittin out for trash one night and hid acrosss the street while it caugth on fire.. the next day my mom was liek did you see someone lit that chair up the street on fire last night. i laughed
     
  15. Jackson

    Jackson Veteran Member

    Joined: May 21, 2002 Messages: 7,345 Likes Received: 122
    My friend tried to shoot, with a catapult, one of several dogs which were being walked opposite my house but he hit my neighbour's car window and it shattered.
    Eventually there was a knock at the door and it was the local old lady misanthrope, she said she SAW two black kids smash it. I just said "really?".
     
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