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Swizel

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one time there was a new kid around channel zero

he got clowned on and berated

he tried to spell some stuff but it didn't work out very well

 

he posted some idiotic threads asking people to entertain him

then he and his computer were smashed by an old loveseat that inexplicably fell out of the sky

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This is a story about a compulsive gambler. Every day, John would go to the casino and gamble away all of his meager earnings on craps and blackjack games. One day, he started winning. He won and won and won until he had $4,000,000.00 in chips sitting in front of him. He thought, "Just one more game, I'll double my money and call it quits". John rolled snake eyes. John lost the $4,000,000.00 he was winning and his earnings, once again. John should have quit while he was ahead.

 

This story has a moral, and it relates to you, LBone. Every day, in those first two years you were registered, that you didn't post anything, you were winning. You were ahead. Then you started posting. You lost. You should have quit while you were ahead, much like John.

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Originally posted by LBone@Aug 1 2005, 01:03 PM

It's time for you to regale us with a story.

 

Let me get my mat.....and a bocks of jucy

 

guidlines for thread:

 

insults should at least be funny or clever

 

otherwise do as you please

 

 

 

in high school i knocked the dust of my MAth teachers Jucy bocks on the reglae.

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One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

 

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine."

 

The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.

 

The people stared -- how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought? The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed.

 

"You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

 

"Yes," said the old man, "yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges -- giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting.

 

"So now do you see what true beauty is?", asked the old man.

 

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.

 

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, as love from the old man's heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side.

 

How sad it must be to go through life with a whole heart.

 

Remember...Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching.

 

What good is your heart if you have never given it to someone? What good is your heart if you stop loving? You were given your heart to share, love, hurt, smile and feel emotion so allow your heart to beat and beat loudly! Love conquers all. Love yourself and others will run towards your loving beating heart!

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Let the FOKS of alt.slack reglae you're jucy bocks with ths tail:

 

In the next chapter, you find a purple horse grazing in your backyard, with

a human hand dangling out of its ass. You go out to say "Hey fella" and feed

it a carrot. Then, strangely, you feel a strong compulsion to mount the

horse. You do so, and it takes off like a shot, and it's all you can do to

hang on to its mane. You soon find the horse has taken flight, and higher

and higher you go, until you reach orbit. But you don't stop there. It's

going to the Moon!! Eventually you land on the moon. *Then*, you break down

in tears and vow never to return. Then you spontaeneously immolate, which

causes you to to wonder whats *really* going on, considering you should have

asphyxiated hours ago, and combustion ought not be taking place on the moon.

And all the kids on ogrish.com somehow gawk at the photos of your burned

mangled body being grazed on by purpse horse, only two hours after these

events. And then the reader closes the book, and returns it to the shelf,

and goes back on shift to bring your thorazine injection to you.

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