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THE BEST OF VICE'S DO'S AND DON'T'S

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by fr8lover, Mar 1, 2003.

  1. fr8lover

    fr8lover Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2000 Messages: 3,919 Likes Received: 1
    http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n1/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-76-copy_21.jpg'>
    Hey, why is everyone so worried about overpopulation? This guy obviously has balls the size of China, so why don’t people just go live there? They could chop down his pubes and use it as firewood.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n1/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-76-copy_12.jpg'>
    Fuck that unflappable egg motherfucker. The Party Daawwwg is where the party’s at. Fuggin’… making all the girls laugh and getting shots and shit. HE’s the fuckin’ guy you’re looking for.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n1/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-75-copy_08.jpg'>
    The only thing worse than fake tits is the guys that like them. Grab your ankle and pull it up to your ass. Now push on the side of your calf. That’s what they feel like. Gross, eh?

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n10/htdocs/dos_donts/Page-62_08.jpg'>
    This guy showed up about five hours before the concert and danced like a fucking maniac to every Streets song. He even knew the words. I was watching him from up above thinking to myself “please don’t be a fag.” I don’t know why.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n10/htdocs/dos_donts/Page-62_19.jpg'>
    Besides the obvious great things like the perfect moustache, cocked hunting cap, 80s pins, and inside out sweatshirt, doesn’t this guy have a cool face? He looks like Yogi Bear’s friend Boo Boo or something. Oh yeah, remember Snagglepuss? That guy was always on.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n9/htdocs/dos_donts/1.jpg'>
    Fuck racial stereotypes m’man. If you are hungry for some juicy melons, buy as many as you want and eat them without shame. Don’t let those liberal white-boy academics tell you what your food means

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n9/htdocs/dos_donts/a.jpg'>
    The gel in the hair is bad and those pussy-ass ear plugs get on my nerves, but how gay is that shirt? So fucking gay.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n9/htdocs/dos_donts/h.jpg'>
    What is the difference between Ghetto Fabulous and dressing up like a fucking clown? Seriously, I really want to know.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n5/htdocs/dos_donts/c.jpg'>
    Moms that dress like two-year-olds are at best crazy and at worst victims of rampant incest. They laugh their heads off at the Sunday funnies as you sit there in horror thinking about mercy killing.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n5/htdocs/dos_donts/h.jpg'>
    Hey, look! It’s an ad for condoms! Next time you think about busting a nut within 100 feet of your girlfriend’s vagina, think about this little turd. This piece of human garbage could be eating chips in your house and shitting his pants right next to you if you don’t use contraception.
     
  2. sneak

    sneak Guest

    haha, well played freightlover, well played my son.
     
  3. fr8lover

    fr8lover Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2000 Messages: 3,919 Likes Received: 1
    http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n7/htdocs/dos_donts/5.jpg'>
    Sometimes a sprightly little chap can pull of sprightly with such aplomb that you could watch him jump over a tree and you’d be like, “Duh, of course he can do that, he’s The Flea.”

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n7/htdocs/dos_donts/d.jpg'>
    I’m not sure what kind of evildoers this superhero is fighting against. I can only guess it involves the bastards who cancelled Days of Our Lives and bodegas that won’t sell Bud Light after 4:00 AM (the rogues!).

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n7/htdocs/dos_donts/r.jpg'>
    If you don’t have much of an ass maybe you should pad it out a bit with some of those buttock-enhancing undergarments. Shit, why not put on a few pairs at once? That way, when I look at you and laugh my fucking ass off, you can just give me one of yours.
     
  4. fr8lover

    fr8lover Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2000 Messages: 3,919 Likes Received: 1
    http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n4/htdocs/dos_donts/a.jpg'>
    “You know what I like about you, Barbara?
    You’re like me but with a cunt.”

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n4/htdocs/dos_donts/e.jpg'>
    Whoa, Mom. I know they’re tasty, but when you walk around the park with a Chocalicious Black Dick Popsicle it makes the rest of us feel really uncomfortable.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n4/htdocs/dos_donts/i.jpg'>
    “I’m into Goofy because Goofy was always like, ‘Yo, what up with this shit?’ Even to Mickey Mouse, who was basically that motherfucker’s boss.”

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n3/htdocs/dos_donts/3.jpg'>
    ESPO is out of control too. He DJ’d one of our parties dressed in a Gucci pant suit, rubber boots, and a hat that said “Hot, Horny and Hairless.” This is his “renting a movie” outfit.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n3/htdocs/dos_donts/h.jpg'>
    Hey, look at his face. That’s the way they draw dopey teenagers in Mad Magazine. All zitty and spaced out and stupid enough to bring his own sunglasses in to work because they match his uniform.
     
  5. Great thread.

    Its the nuts yall...
     
  6. VAITOMANOCU

    VAITOMANOCU Member

    Joined: Apr 30, 2002 Messages: 711 Likes Received: 0
    i used to read vice.......good shit
     
  7. fr8lover

    fr8lover Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2000 Messages: 3,919 Likes Received: 1
    http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n10/htdocs/dos_donts/7.jpg'>
    Dude is just chilling. He’s unflappable. You could be like, “Humpty what if nobody shows up to our party?” and he’d be all “Don’t worry about it doood.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n10/htdocs/dos_donts/6.jpg'>
    Graffiti kids tagging bums is a level of marketing genius that people get paid $450,000 a year to think of. It costs a buck, lasts for years, and tours the entire city 24 hours a day.
     
  8. Grandola

    Grandola Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 16, 2002 Messages: 1,773 Likes Received: 0
  9. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2002 Messages: 2,901 Likes Received: 1
    absolutely hilarious



    ;)
     
  10. metallix

    metallix Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 7, 2001 Messages: 2,955 Likes Received: 1
  11. TEE_rase_war

    TEE_rase_war Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 6, 2001 Messages: 1,717 Likes Received: 1
    i also enjoy tid bits
     
  12. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
     
  13. alure

    alure Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Oct 18, 2002 Messages: 4,700 Likes Received: 17
  14. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
    http://www.metal-reviews.com/images/bands/i_n/asylum.jpg'>
    very nice thread.
     
  15. johnny

    johnny Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Feb 15, 2003 Messages: 7,231 Likes Received: 16
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