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THE BEST OF VICE'S DO'S AND DON'T'S II

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by fr8lover, May 27, 2003.

  1. fr8lover

    fr8lover 12oz Elite Member

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    THE BEST OF VICE'S DO'S AND DON'T'S II

    Discussion started by fr8lover - May 27, 2003

    http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n1/htdocs/dos_donts/p.jpg'>
    Is there anything VIBE readers won’t buy? Jesus Christ.
    You could probably sell them an aborted fetus if it said Krylon on it.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n1/htdocs/dos_donts/h.jpg'>
    Normal people just keep getting weirder and weirder to me. Sure the guys are hairy, obtuse mama’s boys that read sports, piss on the lid and dance with an overbite, but the women are just as shitty. She doesn’t even know what a fucking butt plug is.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n1/htdocs/dos_donts/3.jpg'>
    You can’t really go wrong with mod clothes. They’re a timeless combination of sharp hipness and virgin innocence. The kind of thing that goes really well with gigantic bazooms.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n7/htdocs/dos_donts/12.jpg'>
    Going through the used-clothing bin is more about having vision than finding neat-o clothes. Anyone can pull out a vintage Nike, but it takes A&R skills the size of Clive Davis’ balls to see the potential in an outfit like this.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n5/htdocs/dos_donts/g.jpg'>
    The problem with dressing up as a magical Mad Max cyber-gypsy is that eventually you have to get on a bus and go buy cigarettes. There’s no dry ice at the 7-11. Just you and your stupid fucking stupid-ass face.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n1/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-74-copy_08.jpg'>
    I know I keep saying this and it doesn’t impress booze advertisers when we put kids in the magazine but fuck that looks fun. That’s more than playing. Motherfucker IS Spiderman.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n1/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-74-copy_03.jpg'>
    Just so you know (the photo isn’t too clear), these two cats have just
    been married and the one in front of them (the “driver” in the green
    robe) is usually holding the reigns because the front part hitches up
    to a fucking dog. Can you imagine if a stoned guy saw this? He’d
    become energy times the speed of light squared.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-62_10-01.jpg'>
    This hat is great and everything, but when P.O.D. is playing in the background all “Boom! Here comes the Boom!
    Ready or not, here comes the boys from the South,” it’s intense. It makes you feel like starting a gang with him (or her).

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-64_21-01.jpg'>
    You know that game where you yell, “Hey, fuckface!” to see who turns around? This guy got totally freaked out when we did it, because he actually is a fuckface.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-64_20-01.jpg'>
    You know those fucked-up hard candies old ladies are always trying to give you? This is what those candies would look like if they were a person.

    [img]http://viceland.com/issues/v10n4/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Untitled-8_3_03.jpg'>
    Of course, if you wanted to avoid that problem you’d have to fill out all those oversize clothes with body mass. Let’s see how that works. “Nope, it’s not working out. You look like a giant bean!” What? I can’t hear you! “A bean! You look like a fucking bean!”
     
    fr8lover - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
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  2. metallix

    metallix 12oz Elite Member

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    metallix - Replied May 27, 2003

    its kinda weird when one was present when some of those pics were taken...
     
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  3. fr8lover

    fr8lover 12oz Elite Member

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    fr8lover - Replied May 27, 2003

    http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n10/htdocs/dos_donts/2.jpg'>
    This is how black people should dress. Instead of the hip hop uniform with the Timberlands and the North Face or the faux afro-centric shit with some silly hat, home girl rocks the Rastafarian b-girl with perfect racial superiority.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n10/htdocs/dos_donts/i.jpg'>
    Nice fucking purple track pants you fat bitch. What are you, the fucking Michelin Man? Nice gay hat, too, you fucking little loser bitch.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n2/htdocs/dos_donts/2.jpg'>
    There’s something about guys with neck tattoos that makes girls wet. Maybe it’s the fact that they have balls enough to makes things weird with their Dad - FOREVER!

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n2/htdocs/dos_donts/B.jpg'>
    Sometimes when you’re out DON’Ting and you see someone like this you’re like, “Holy shit, holy shit” all nervous with the camera and then you get it and you’re like “YES!”
    Check out his dreaded beard.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n3/htdocs/dos_donts/c.jpg'>
    What started out as a “stressed denim” look has become something that looks as stupid as when you pissed your pants. Where the fuck is her ass, by the way?

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n9/htdocs/dos_donts/12.jpg'>
    One of the great things about not being white is all the racism jokes you can make. When black people wear a “niggers beware” shirt it’s hilarious. Lucky bastards.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n9/htdocs/dos_donts/5a.jpg'>
    After getting harassed by one too many jocks, Irene successfully implemented her “reverse psychology t-shirt” plan - ewe.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n9/htdocs/dos_donts/6a.jpg'>
    Remember being five and you’d have a fake leather jacket and mirrored sunglasses and a cardboard guitar? Italians are still into that but not kidding even less.

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n4/htdocs/dos_donts/e.jpg'>
    Whoa, Mom. I know they’re tasty, but when you walk around the park with a Chocalicious Black Dick Popsicle it makes the rest of us feel really uncomfortable.
     
    fr8lover - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
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  4. Grandola

    Grandola 12oz Senior Member

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    Grandola - Replied May 27, 2003

    good stuff.

    [​IMG]
     
    Grandola - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  5. destroya

    destroya 12oz Senior Member

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    destroya - Replied May 27, 2003

     
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  6. mikro137

    mikro137 Guest

    mikro137 - Replied May 27, 2003

    wow

    this = hardt

    :lol:
     
  7. fr8lover

    fr8lover 12oz Elite Member

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    fr8lover - Replied May 27, 2003

    i bumped the original one too...
     
    fr8lover - Rank: 12oz Elite Member - Messages:
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  8. Jesus of Nazareth

    Jesus of Nazareth 12oz Senior Member

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    Jesus of Nazareth - Replied May 27, 2003


    Hahahahaha
     
    Jesus of Nazareth - Rank: 12oz Senior Member - Messages:
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  9. Born Loser

    Born Loser New Jack

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    Born Loser - Replied May 27, 2003

    http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-64_20-01.jpg'>

    I'd do her
     
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  10. shoekeys

    shoekeys 12oz Member

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    shoekeys - Replied May 27, 2003

    When they knock 'famous' peoples,
    It gets too omnious and witty at
    the same time...It hurts...

    the Paris Hilton one....
    http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-64_20-01.jpg'>

    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n4/htdocs/dos_donts/h.jpg'>

    If you happen to be in the entertainment industry and get free makeup, make the most of it. Use special shading to draw a skinny nose on your wide nose until you look like an extra from The Lion King on Broadway


    [img]http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n9/htdocs/dos_donts/d.jpg'>

    What has happened to hip hop? It’s gone from “bum rushing the show” to dressing like Formula One cars while checking the Motorola phone for more endorsement deals

    The real winner was the Jermaine Dupri 'don't'....
    It took the cake, dude is the ultimate clown....
    If anyone can find that, you'll be my hero.....
     
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  11. .sE.

    .sE. New Jack

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    .sE. - Replied May 28, 2003

    my stomach hurts from laughin....hahaha**oW :dazed:
     
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  12. sneak

    sneak Guest

    sneak - Replied May 28, 2003

    hehe, nice one//
     
  13. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

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    Dick Quickwood - Replied May 28, 2003

    i laughed at each one
     
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  14. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- 12oz Veteran Member

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    --zeSto-- - Replied May 28, 2003

    http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n5/htdocs/dos_donts/i.jpg'>

    I hereby call bullshit on all monks. Get the fuck out of here. The only thing that you really believe in is that you were not getting laid at all and you were really, really bored.
     
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  15. Krook

    Krook Banned

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    Krook - Replied May 28, 2003

     
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