fr8lover Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n1/htdocs/dos_donts/p.jpg'> Is there anything VIBE readers won’t buy? Jesus Christ. You could probably sell them an aborted fetus if it said Krylon on it. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n1/htdocs/dos_donts/h.jpg'> Normal people just keep getting weirder and weirder to me. Sure the guys are hairy, obtuse mama’s boys that read sports, piss on the lid and dance with an overbite, but the women are just as shitty. She doesn’t even know what a fucking butt plug is. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n1/htdocs/dos_donts/3.jpg'> You can’t really go wrong with mod clothes. They’re a timeless combination of sharp hipness and virgin innocence. The kind of thing that goes really well with gigantic bazooms. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n7/htdocs/dos_donts/12.jpg'> Going through the used-clothing bin is more about having vision than finding neat-o clothes. Anyone can pull out a vintage Nike, but it takes A&R skills the size of Clive Davis’ balls to see the potential in an outfit like this. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n5/htdocs/dos_donts/g.jpg'> The problem with dressing up as a magical Mad Max cyber-gypsy is that eventually you have to get on a bus and go buy cigarettes. There’s no dry ice at the 7-11. Just you and your stupid fucking stupid-ass face. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n1/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-74-copy_08.jpg'> I know I keep saying this and it doesn’t impress booze advertisers when we put kids in the magazine but fuck that looks fun. That’s more than playing. Motherfucker IS Spiderman. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n1/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-74-copy_03.jpg'> Just so you know (the photo isn’t too clear), these two cats have just been married and the one in front of them (the “driver” in the green robe) is usually holding the reigns because the front part hitches up to a fucking dog. Can you imagine if a stoned guy saw this? He’d become energy times the speed of light squared. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-62_10-01.jpg'> This hat is great and everything, but when P.O.D. is playing in the background all “Boom! Here comes the Boom! Ready or not, here comes the boys from the South,” it’s intense. It makes you feel like starting a gang with him (or her). http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-64_21-01.jpg'> You know that game where you yell, “Hey, fuckface!” to see who turns around? This guy got totally freaked out when we did it, because he actually is a fuckface. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-64_20-01.jpg'> You know those fucked-up hard candies old ladies are always trying to give you? This is what those candies would look like if they were a person. http://viceland.com/issues/v10n4/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Untitled-8_3_03.jpg'> Of course, if you wanted to avoid that problem you’d have to fill out all those oversize clothes with body mass. Let’s see how that works. “Nope, it’s not working out. You look like a giant bean!” What? I can’t hear you! “A bean! You look like a fucking bean!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metallix Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 its kinda weird when one was present when some of those pics were taken... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fr8lover Posted May 28, 2003 Author Share Posted May 28, 2003 http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n10/htdocs/dos_donts/2.jpg'> This is how black people should dress. Instead of the hip hop uniform with the Timberlands and the North Face or the faux afro-centric shit with some silly hat, home girl rocks the Rastafarian b-girl with perfect racial superiority. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n10/htdocs/dos_donts/i.jpg'> Nice fucking purple track pants you fat bitch. What are you, the fucking Michelin Man? Nice gay hat, too, you fucking little loser bitch. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n2/htdocs/dos_donts/2.jpg'> There’s something about guys with neck tattoos that makes girls wet. Maybe it’s the fact that they have balls enough to makes things weird with their Dad - FOREVER! http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n2/htdocs/dos_donts/B.jpg'> Sometimes when you’re out DON’Ting and you see someone like this you’re like, “Holy shit, holy shit” all nervous with the camera and then you get it and you’re like “YES!” Check out his dreaded beard. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n3/htdocs/dos_donts/c.jpg'> What started out as a “stressed denim” look has become something that looks as stupid as when you pissed your pants. Where the fuck is her ass, by the way? http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n9/htdocs/dos_donts/12.jpg'> One of the great things about not being white is all the racism jokes you can make. When black people wear a “niggers beware” shirt it’s hilarious. Lucky bastards. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n9/htdocs/dos_donts/5a.jpg'> After getting harassed by one too many jocks, Irene successfully implemented her “reverse psychology t-shirt” plan - ewe. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v8n9/htdocs/dos_donts/6a.jpg'> Remember being five and you’d have a fake leather jacket and mirrored sunglasses and a cardboard guitar? Italians are still into that but not kidding even less. http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n4/htdocs/dos_donts/e.jpg'> Whoa, Mom. I know they’re tasty, but when you walk around the park with a Chocalicious Black Dick Popsicle it makes the rest of us feel really uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandola Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 good stuff. http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
destroya Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 Originally posted by freightlover [b http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-64_21-01.jpg'> You know that game where you yell, “Hey, fuckface!” to see who turns around? This guy got totally freaked out when we did it, because he actually is a fuckface. [/b] :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mikro137 Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 wow this = hardt :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fr8lover Posted May 28, 2003 Author Share Posted May 28, 2003 i bumped the original one too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus of Nazareth Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 Originally posted by freightlover Nice fucking purple track pants you fat bitch. What are you, the fucking Michelin Man? Nice gay hat, too, you fucking little loser bitch. Hahahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Born Loser Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-64_20-01.jpg'> I'd do her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoekeys Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 When they knock 'famous' peoples, It gets too omnious and witty at the same time...It hurts... the Paris Hilton one.... http://www.viceland.com/issues/v10n2/htdocs/dos_donts/images/Page-64_20-01.jpg'> http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n4/htdocs/dos_donts/h.jpg'> If you happen to be in the entertainment industry and get free makeup, make the most of it. Use special shading to draw a skinny nose on your wide nose until you look like an extra from The Lion King on Broadway http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n9/htdocs/dos_donts/d.jpg'> What has happened to hip hop? It’s gone from “bum rushing the show” to dressing like Formula One cars while checking the Motorola phone for more endorsement deals The real winner was the Jermaine Dupri 'don't'.... It took the cake, dude is the ultimate clown.... If anyone can find that, you'll be my hero..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.sE. Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 my stomach hurts from laughin....hahaha**oW :dazed: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 hehe, nice one// Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Quickwood Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 i laughed at each one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RumPuncher Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 http://www.viceland.com/issues/v9n5/htdocs/dos_donts/i.jpg'> I hereby call bullshit on all monks. Get the fuck out of here. The only thing that you really believe in is that you were not getting laid at all and you were really, really bored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krook Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 Originally posted by mikro137 wow this = hardt :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JUDONO? Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 HEY FUCKFACE!!!!!!:lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Quickwood Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side. The two nuns look at each other and shrug; deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door. "Nice tits," says the man. "Where do you want these blinds?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mental invalid Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 Whoa, Mom. I know they’re tasty, but when you walk around the park with a Chocalicious Black Dick Popsicle it makes the rest of us feel really uncomfortable. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.