Sweet Revenge

Heres the deal,

There is a crazy woman that lives below me , Seriously she's a nutcase. She freaks out on me almost everytime I run into her in the building or tosses me dirty looks, yells about how teenagers are so fuckin dumb (like im still a teenager wtf) etc. No matter how quiet i am , shes forever bangin on the ceiling and screaming her head off , even if im just walking to the kitchen, shitter, bed ....

This has been pretty well constant for over a year , and the other day my Girlfriend and i were watching a movie and i sat down on the couch , apperantly that is really loud , (like i dont hear the ppl above me everyday, thats life ) and the bitch came storming up and POUNDED on my door , i opened it half laughing and she proceeded to SCREAM at me for the next 6 mins . Ok w/e let her be a crazy bitch what do i care right , but then i woke up the next day and my windows and my new BBQ had been egged....

Now im mad, and am in need of ideas that will cause maximum grief for her and amusement for me, She also doesnt know that im moving at the end of the month anyhow, but i still need my sweet revenge.

So far i was thinking id just buy a couple hundred crickets from the pet store , and let em loose throught her mailbox slot .

Instead of walking to the bathroom you should start hopping.

Excercise for you. Torment for her.

Take a dump. Pick it up. Smear it all over her door knob.

yes...be LOUD. you are moving out anyway.

make sure you have really loud sex w/your girlfriend too.

the crickets thing would be a good idea, or mice.

I would start off with little things everyday...like one while she is out put vaseline on her door knob...she will have a hell of time getting in. If you all share the same a/c and heating system the day you move out take a shit down one of the vents. Since she lives below you your poo will go into her vents via gravity. If you can get into her apartment go in there and just do some small things to mess with her. Kinda like what happened in amelie. If she has a car try droppin some smell liquid down her vents. It will the car a nice little smell when the air comes on.

Or you could accidently bleed on her and tell her you have AIDS.

+

Originally posted by slave_one@Apr 4 2005, 12:37 PM

yes...be LOUD. you are moving out anyway.

 

make sure you have really loud sex w/your girlfriend too.

Quoted post

Oh yeah im on both of those already :king:

you have a new BBQ?

lets make some food and procede to shit on her patio. you know im down for some revenge.

got a nice sound system?...got bassy tunes?.....death metal?

aim them at floor...turn to 11...and enjoy.

you can always just jump up and down really hard and scream at the floor.

and when sh comes to yell at you...just scream right back..dont fight with her...just scream spycotic nonsence and stip and thrash like a three year old fishing out on power rangers.

i feel for you...i got pissed off by your story

i had an idea:

everytime you go out job hunting/whatnot turn on an alarm bell, or some home made rig that makes one fucked up kind of noise. Eventually she will move out because you will win the battle, obviously.

dont answer your door when she bangs. you can play tunes loud till 10 pm at nite before the cops can really do anything when you live in an apt. the crickets idea is pretty good. you can always do little things like send her a ton of magazine subscriptions by way of those little postcards that fill every magazine these days, put gorilla glue in her keyhole of her house door or car door, something thats always funny is sending religious people to her house to talk to her (you can set up appointments so they come at a certain time so you can send em there when you know shell be home), send strippers/escorts there late at nite (you pay cash when they get there so theyll bug out on her).

mackfatso-best idea yet.

or, you can just leave on loud music whenever you leave....she can pound on the door all day and nobodys gonna answer or turn off the music, i know that would piss me the fuck off.

HAHAHA

i will dispurse to you my wealth of knowledge on tenant revenge, i have come to call my self the "project prankster" over the years because i have recieved so many complaints from the admin office that i could fill a shoebox.

1.

rubbing alcohol, lighter fluid, string, small counter counter weights, wet rag.

if your balcony is directly above hers, pour a shit load of rubbing alcohol down on her guard rail, then soak a peice of string in lighter fluid and attatch something that can be used as counter weight. wrap your hand in the wet rag, lower the string down so it touches her hand rail. wait for the bitch to come home, as soon as you hear her at the door, light the string, and then pull it back up. rubbing alcohol burns fast as hell and will not leave any marks which can't be washed off of metal. its harmless, but for about 45 seconds she will think satan is on her balcony.

2

bird seed

just dump a shit load of bird seed on her balcony/patio at about 2 or 3 am. she will wake up to mountians of rock hard bird feces. this is classic

3.

cocaine, an envelope, a phone

mail the bitch cocaine from a random location and call the narcotics division's anonymous tip line. put a fork in the bitch cause she's done

i got more. i will post later

why are random bitches IMing me?

SecretSforaBUCK1: hey im a better artist then you

CapitalMixMonkey: i know but my dick is bigger

CapitalMixMonkey: who be you

SecretSforaBUCK1: haha

SecretSforaBUCK1: my names danielle marsh

SecretSforaBUCK1: im on myspace

SecretSforaBUCK1: your dick is bigger

CapitalMixMonkey: ok

CapitalMixMonkey: and

SecretSforaBUCK1: idk?

SecretSforaBUCK1: for some reason your on my buddy list

CapitalMixMonkey: uh...beats the hell out of me, are you cut and legal?

SecretSforaBUCK1: sure why not

CapitalMixMonkey: oh i meant cute and legal

SecretSforaBUCK1: yes

CapitalMixMonkey: how old?

SecretSforaBUCK1: hahah

SecretSforaBUCK1: no i dont know

SecretSforaBUCK1: im not im 17

CapitalMixMonkey: BLOCKED!

SecretSforaBUCK1 signed off at 5:38:53 PM.

something we call anti freeze

make her a jug of kool aind or pour half hypnotiq half anti freeze go dowen there apoligize be like yeah your right im sorry heres a gift to show my deepest apoligies and i hope to you see you on good terms next timne blah blah ,

be like lets try it out ive never had it pour her some and be like uh oh my moms calling me

why dont you just punch her in the face?

^^so makros has graduated to japanese soft porn.

nice.

Im feeling the panties...

Literally, i have such a pair in my hands as i type this. So, so soft.

i say you throw a rock through her window..if you can get it through the balcony, shell never kno it was you. or glue her door shut when shes inside that way she cant bitch at you cuz you have your music all the way up..i dont know if the glue one works but itd be pretty cool.

When you know shes out, super glue in the keyhole would be good.

I have found the motherload. Thank you, Google.

http://www.thepayback.com/

Actually, fuck that site. It's weak as shit. I apologize for sending anyone there.

Source:

I was once told that a one liter soda bottle filled with old urine and carried to the car and the contents emptied into the windshied defrost vents on the dashboard causes some of the most disgusting smells once the urine is exposed to summer heat.

 

I have also been told that no amount of cleaning will ever remove the smell and the car will always have that aroma. Apparently it returns with a vengance when the heater/defroster is applied in the winter months.

 

A few details I think I remember hearing were to let the urine set in an open container outside for a few days to let cure or achive a ripe state if you will.

 

Using rubber gloves if you are weak hearted apply the cap to the bottle firmly to ensure that the contents do not leak while in trasnport.

 

However in this situation I would simply buy some extra rubber or plastic hose and once a chance is given change the map of the windshield washer fluid to fill his carburator or run it directly into his air intake if fuel injected.

How about you make posters advertising random bullshit (eg: pizza deals, chines take out) and glue it on her door and apply the old, glass'n'glue trickto this one. Take a bucket of wallpaper glue and thoroughly crush some glass into it. Put some glue onto the door, hang up the poster, and then put it on the poster. This trick was widely used by political left-wingers in the

70-ties when their posters often were torn down by their opponents. This lady might get permamnent injuries. So CAUTION.

Anbother less harmful idea, get yourself alarge bowling ball. Hold it up in the air and drop down on the floor. Do this at random intervals throughout the day.

These and more found WITHIN

bleach in her gas tank

saw this on discovery channel's myth busters

it'll kill the engine and also erode her tank. so even if she gets rid of the bleach, her motor will still be getting rusted gas tank and get fucked over. this is the best thing to use for car fuck ups.

shit in a paper bag, put it on her doorstep, light it on fire, ring the doorbell and run!

billy madison stylee fool!

get some of those god awful rotten egg pop cap things that when you pop them open they smell like rotten eggs, and then bust them all up under her car and let that shit soak in... bust some near the front of her car where it sucks in air for the a/c to.

or tape 2-3 fish to the bottom side of her car... thats hilarious.

Build a wall of cinder blocks in front of her door so she cant leave and call in a fire or somethin..

a gun will work nicely for what you need accomplished

the good ole middle finger always seems to work for me, you can point it or poke it, i suggest pointing, it gets the message across more clearly.