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sweet revenge hits the RIAA

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by --zeSto--, Sep 19, 2003.

  1. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2000 Messages: 6,979 Likes Received: 2

    after finding their phone number....

    JH: Hello. I just downloaded some illegal MP3s and my friend told me that the RAII is going to sue everyone who downloads music. What should I do?

    RIAA: Hold on just a sec.

    [There was a hold of about two minutes. I was desperately afraid they were tracing my call, and that Agent Smith would come smashing through my door at any moment, wielding the severed arm of Jimmy Carter. But I courageously waited it out.]

    RIAA: Sir?

    JH: Yes.

    RIAA: The best advice I can offer you at this moment is to go to dub-dub-dub-musicunited.org and you can learn there how to uninstall your peer-to-peer software or file-sharing service.

    JH: But I don't have a pee service. Someone just e-mailed me a song and I listened to it. Am I going to jail?

    RIAA: Sir, I don't know. I'm not in a position to offer you legal advice on this.

    JH: Legal advice? Do I need to get a lawyer?

    RIAA: You might want to. As I said, your best possible route is to go to musicunited.org. Beyond that, I'm not in a position to offer you additional legal advice.

    JH: Can I write a check to someone?

    RIAA: Has your service provider told you that you've been subpoenaed?

    JH: A penis?

    RIAA: [Long pause] What?

    JH: You asked if my service provider told me I have a penis?

    RIAA: Have you been issued a subpoena?

    JH: I just listened to it in my e-mail, is all!

    RIAA: Sir, I can't give you any specific legal advice to assist you in your situation.

    JH: My girlfriend listened to the song too. Is she going to jail? I'm really scared.

    RIAA: I can't give you any specific advice beyond what I've said.

    JH: How much do these songs cost? Can I just mail a check to you guys? I really don't want to go back to prison.

    RIAA: Sir. I cannot have these conversations. You should consult a lawyer if you think you might be at risk.

    JH: But I can't afford a lawyer! They're too expensive!

    RIAA: What I can tell you is to visit musicunited.org, which will tell you ways to reduce the likelihood that you will be a target.

    JH: A TARGET?! A target of who? Terrorists?!

    RIAA: A target of legal action.

    JH: You guys ARE going to sue me! I knew it! I never should have downloaded Beethoven's Ninth Symphony! Oh, NO!!!

    RIAA: That's the best I can do for you.
  2. DREDZ

    DREDZ Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 14, 2002 Messages: 1,934 Likes Received: 0
    that's nutty
  3. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest


  4. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 11,276 Likes Received: 71
    Ohhhh ahah, that's funds.
  5. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,363 Likes Received: 299
    revenge eh?
    i was thinks heads got severed stuck on stakes and planted in times square next to TRL all while being recorded in high quality MPEG format and now available on kazaa.
  6. king kong

    king kong Banned

    Joined: Jul 24, 2003 Messages: 2,292 Likes Received: 0
    ha...does bastards shut down my hiphop mixtape distributing site