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sunsets viewed from the porch...ROB

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by mental invalid, Aug 13, 2004.

  1. mental invalid

    mental invalid Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 11, 2001 Messages: 13,050 Likes Received: 8
    i dedicate this weeks to my sealed off porch and the sunsets that will be missed...

    Free Will Astrology
    horoscopes for week of August 12, 2004

    Aries (March 21-April 19)

    To be an authentic Aries, to be the person you were born to be, you've got to pretty much always be mobilized by someone or something that thrills your heart. Who and what are those beacons for you right now? A person who fascinates you? An adventure you're planning or an idea you're exploring? A devoted animal who always sees the best in you? A place in nature where you remember who you really are? Whatever you love, Aries, pay homage to them this week. Build shrines in their honor. Take action to demonstrate the depth of your excitement. If your beacons are human beings, write them thank-you notes, sing them songs, or tell them the truth about their life-giving sustenance.

    Taurus (April 20-May 20)

    A few years back, the commissioners of Kleberg County, Texas retired the salutation "hello" because they said it contained the offensive term "hell." In its place, they made "heaven-o" the official county greeting. That's borderline lunatic, if you ask me, and yet I understand the principle. In fact, I recommend that you initiate some adjustments in your own language, Taurus. As much as possible, you should stop using words that make you feel bad, confused, or weak. Replace them with fresh terms that make you feel optimistic and empowered. Of course, this is good advice for everyone all the time, but it's especially apt for you right now. The astrological omens suggest you have a special capacity for changing deep-seated habits that sap your energy, especially those involving the way you speak.

    Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    In Half Magic, a children's book by Edward Eager, four kids discover an enchanted coin with an odd quirk: It grants just half of any wish. Naturally they try to compensate, imagining how to double the scope of each wish so that when only 50 percent of it comes true, it's exactly what they wanted. Your immediate future has certain resemblances to their story, Gemini. Though you will be in possession of a kind of magic, it may tend to work incomplete wonders. Consider imitating the kids' strategy: Make your wish larger than what you actually need.

    Cancer (June 21-July 22)

    From the day we're born till the day we die, we need teachers. In a perfect world, each of us would have at least one mentor who looked after our learning needs, constantly adding new lessons to our ever-evolving curriculum. Since you probably haven't been living in a perfect world, however, you may have only rarely been blessed with the luxury of a personal educator. You've mostly had to be your own guide, with an occasional assist from me. Here's one of those assists now: In the next six weeks, you should put a high priority on developing a long-term lesson plan. What things do you need to learn most between now and August, 2009?

    Leo (July 23-August 22)

    There is an Egyptian myth that the sun was in Leo and the moon in Cancer when the universe was created. That very configuration is happening this week, which is an interesting coincidence. The astrological factors indicate it's an excellent time for you to recreate your own world. So don't be shy, Leo. Shed any doubts you might have about your authorial power. Imagine you're a god or goddess with the potency to dream a new dream of how life could be. Then get out there and start conjuring it up.

    Virgo (August 23-September 22)

    In his book, Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood, Wayne Muller traces many of our psychological ills to the bad habit known as "repetition compulsion." After growing up, we unconsciously recreate the situations that damaged or addled us as children. In this way we hope to find the healing we couldn't find when we were young. We choose friends and lovers and employers who inadvertently play the roles of our original family members as we continually restage our old imprints in search of some feeling of resolution that will set us free. That's the bad news, Virgo. The good news is that the next six weeks will bring the best opportunity ever to escape from repetition compulsion.

    Libra (September 23-October 22)

    The first theme you should weave into your life in the near future is over-the-top, cathartic laughter. We could almost say, in fact, that you've entered the Season of the Belly Laugh. The second theme you need to find a prominent place for is ecstasy. I'm not talking about the drug, but rather the natural experience of over-the-top, cathartic pleasure. It wouldn't be a lie to suggest that you've slipped into the Season of Wild Fun. The third element you should invoke is over-the-top catharsis. I'm not exaggerating when I say you're in the Season of Peak Emotion.

    Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

    The news media love bad news because they think it's more interesting and worthy of our attention than good news. The nineteenth-century poet John Keats said, "If something is not beautiful, it is probably not true," but many of today's journalists imply that if something isn't ugly, it's not true. The wide acceptance of this bizarre perspective colors our personal rhythms. We're prone to the delusion that a well-lived life is mostly a struggle; that it's normal to feel we're in a constant battle against the natural tendency of everything to fall apart. But right now is a perfect time for you to divest yourself of this nonsense, Scorpio. I urge you to devote your intelligence and passion to changing your beliefs about the nature of reality. Focus on what's beautiful and successful. Create opportunities for high-integrity pleasure. Have a fierce intention to find joy. Be a tough-minded optimist.

    Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

    To the ancient Chinese, pigs were sacred because they could eat anything, and turn it into energy. The creatures were regarded as masters of transmutation. Nothing, not even garbage, was unusable to them. The Chinese aspired to be like pigs in the sense of being able to learn from and derive benefit from every experience, not just the tidy, tasteful ones. I mention this, Sagittarius, because it's an excellent time for you to imitate that paragon of holiness, the omnivorous pig.

    Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

    The old days are threatening to dominate the headlines this week. In fact, unless you're proactive to the point of being pushy, a worn-out history will insinuate itself into your future. And unless you err on the side of generosity as you settle accounts with two people who used to be an important part of your life, they will continue to demand your precious energy long after they have any right to. To acquire the ballast necessary to keep the past in its proper place, make a pilgrimage to a place where you triumphed over the old days once before.

    Aquarius (January 20- February 18)

    "I need more Grace than I thought." That's a line from a Rumi poem in which the poet confesses he's sometimes helpless in the face of life's unpredictable twists and turns. It's a mournful statement; he's sad at having to acknowledge he's not always the master of his own destiny. Yet I sense he also means he feels relief in surrendering to the need for grace. It's liberating to accept the fact that he can't possibly be a wise, effective genius who controls every detail and aces every test. I hope you'll arrive at Rumi's state soon, Aquarius. I trust you'll derive power from saying, "I need more Grace than I thought."

    Pisces (February 19-March 20)

    Sometimes the demons that are like mosquitoes are more dangerous than the demons resembling dragons. You go on full alert in the face of the dragons' threats, calling in all your favors and hauling out your biggest guns. But you may underestimate the power of the mosquitoes to mess with you, and not be aggressive enough in shielding yourself from their subtly demoralizing effects. Don't let this be the case in the coming week, Pisces. Don the persona of a heroic warrior as you take extreme measures to exorcise the mosquito demons.
  2. !@#$%

    [email protected]#$% Moderator Crew

    Joined: Oct 1, 2002 Messages: 18,517 Likes Received: 623
  3. beardo

    beardo Guest

    and what better way to start it off than a couple nights of phish?

    missed you sunday dawgg..
  4. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    you know me!

    Aries: (March 21—April 19)
    Investigators will say that your death was caused by shoddily wired bathroom lighting, but that's just wishful thinking since you're standing right there.

    Taurus: (April. 20—May 20)
    Government officials will call your new doomsday device "brilliant in its simplicity" and "a marvel of American ingenuity," but they won't be able to say so for long.

    Gemini: (May 21—June 21)
    You'll be forced to expand the list of shit you have to put up with to include "goat."

    Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
    Suppressed-memory therapy will do wonders for you, but only until you recover the long-lost knowledge that suppressed memories are bullshit.

    Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
    Gay pizza deliverymen are a dime a dozen, which is fortunate for you, as you'll soon be on the management end of that deal.

    Virgo: (Aug. 23—Sept. 22)
    Finding families for homeless animals is all well and good, but you could have prevented the tramplings if you'd considered the elephants' feelings on the matter.

    Libra: (Sept. 23—Oct. 23)
    You'll soon be exactly as popular as the trombone player in a chubby-chaser bar. This might not make a lot of sense now, but trust us, you'll see.

    Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)
    No one will believe that it looked like the Girl Scouts were going for their guns, but believe it—in an alternate universe, you've been filled with lead from the waist down.

    Sagittarius: (Nov. 22—Dec. 21)
    It's true you were trapped in the gourmet popcorn poppery, but you still don't see why they insisted on sending help.

    Capricorn: (Dec. 22—Jan. 19)
    You'll wake to find that the unexplained mental quirk that turned you into a leather fetishist has finally been worked out, but just wait until you get a load of a few cotton-polyester blends.

    Aquarius: (Jan. 20—Feb. 18)
    The stars found it hard to concentrate on your future this week, as they themselves aren't exactly teenagers anymore.

    Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
    You definitely know a good thing when you see it, at least as long as the price tag is clearly visible.
  5. DETO

    DETO Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,348 Likes Received: 155
  6. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2002 Messages: 7,042 Likes Received: 2
    are you down with OPP Key? ha-ha.

    umm...yeah...is that horrorscope a compliment?
  7. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    2 out of 3 horroscopes say i should become a terrorist... hmmmm.

    Haiku Horoscopes

    (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19)
    It’s no joke — those mad
    Clowns are really out for your
    Blood this time, buddy

    (Apr. 20 - May 20)
    If you figured out
    How to hijack the plane with
    Nail clippers, you’d rock

    (May 21 - June 20)
    That cute, sweet bunny at your
    Own risk, muchacho

    (June 21 - July 22)
    Swallow your pride and
    Admit that you need some help
    Fending off the bear

    (July 23 - Aug. 22)
    When you cried wolf the
    First time, they should have listened.
    Now they’re canine chow

    (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
    All is not lost, you
    Still have that piece of string that
    Helps you remember

    (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
    The pain was great, but
    In the end the torture was
    Lacking something — heart

    (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
    Avoid flying this
    Week. Remember: You’re lacking
    The power of flight

    (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
    Let’s call a spade a
    Spade. Why do you insist on
    Complicating things?

    (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
    The sign says “don’t walk.”
    But it’s a temporary
    Command. Keep your legs

    (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
    You’re at the bottom
    But there’s only one way to
    Go, and that’s sideways

    (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20)
    Oh, bargain flying!
    What better way to risk life
    And limb for a buck
  8. Teh0wnz

    Teh0wnz Member

    Joined: Jul 23, 2003 Messages: 406 Likes Received: 0
    Awesome.... Leo's always have the awesome horoscopes.

    Thanks Mental Invalid.
  9. Im Broke

    Im Broke Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 11, 2003 Messages: 1,579 Likes Received: 0
    i wish i wasent born in sept.:scowl:
  10. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
  11. villain

    villain Veteran Member

    Joined: Jul 12, 2002 Messages: 5,190 Likes Received: 2
    double my magic....
    Worth a shot i guess... didn't even know i had magic.
  12. crave

    crave Veteran Member

    Joined: Jan 20, 2002 Messages: 6,728 Likes Received: 10
    season of peak emotion. . . not this year.
  13. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 22, 2003 Messages: 13,989 Likes Received: 313
    us scorpio's top the charts....