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SUICIDE CONTEMPLATION AND IT'S LUSTY BEAUTY.


JoeyLawrence

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I really don't know if I'd ever get the guts to kill myself in an instant, but I sure get a sick euphoric feeling from just trying to slowly. Ok, I have had people I know personally commit suicide, and I don't think it's a joking matter, but I'm just wondering if it's normal to think about it so much and try little things like slowly slicing your arm with a boxcutter in the shower or eating a shitload of painkillers and just trying to sleep. I dunno, I just find it somewhat comforting to contemplate constantly instead of consistantly contending. I know this is just another bullshit rambleing thread of mine but fuckit i dont care. i hope people reply like seeking innocsecneese did lasttime when i talked about my fascination with death and suicide when he said something like "just do it and quit talking." but whatever. if you could only see inside my head for like one minute. haha last night me and my good friend jared went to jon benet ramseys house and just lied there in her front yard looking up at the stars. it was a wierd feeling being so close to somewhere where something so traumatic happened to someone. i dunno. i dunno i dunno. maybe i should turn off my melvins cd and go to sleep.

 

p.s. im hungry. (again)

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i'm generally lonely because i'm so introverted so i've thought about suicide a lot. but i'm also a fighter, so for me, killing myself would just mean that the world won. and i know that when its me vs. the world, i can fucking win it . i don't even think about suicide anymore.

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I think its normal.. every body gets those little instences where they ponder if its all worth it in the long run... I dont have any problems with getting sick when i think about it as it seems to be a natural occurence.

Usually when walking near passong cars i get urges to step infront of them or other assorments of the likes, but i dont follow through.

 

Suicide seems to bring more pain then it ever does comfort.

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i hate talking about it because people always question...like how can you just "try", but it's fucked up...like you said, after slowly doing things to hurt yourself it begins feeling good, like you need it...maybe i am fucked...i take medicine and stuff for it, but the feeling is always in the back of your head.

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isnt that why we do graffiti?. i mean damn, not trying to fuck with you man, but if you dont have much will to live then go out and fucking bomb like youve never bombed before, hang off the side of a bridge and do a burner on the side if you aint scared to get a little hurt if you fuck up, suicide has crossed my mind also like every 2 minutes but that's how fucked up i am, i aint gonna do it, id rather travel the nation with no money in my pockets putting little tags here and there, if you got money for medication then what's the deal, i aint got money for aspirin, shit...if you really wanted to do it, then you wouldnt come on here and seeking our support cuz you dont really want to.

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Guest greedy mars

i tell my parents i do graffiti becuase im derpressed all the time.. im surpirised they havent brought me to one of those sikiatrice things

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I think about suicide alot....everytime I try to think about where I'm going to be in a few years my mind always goes blank...I hate my life so fucking much sometimes..sometimes I just sit on my porch, smoking and thinking about all the shit I done that I regret so much.

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Hold the Sanity, please.

 

you just gotta have confidence in your abilities. if you believe you can be successful in your business and social life, than you'll be fine. i've thought about the prospect of suicide many times. i dont believe i could follow thru, but i'm curious to find the power thats involved. the pure will to test your own mortality. the blind hope of an empty future. theres so many facets in life that can twist our psyche into unhappiness. but fuck it, you just gotta accept that only you can help yourself survive, and that each day should be cherished like you only have a few left.

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