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Struggling for independence(?) part 2

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Swiffer Jet, Oct 30, 2003.

  1. Swiffer Jet

    Swiffer Jet Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 14, 2003 Messages: 2,669 Likes Received: 0
    so yeah, i'm sure you all have seen my old thread about how my dad was being very strict with me and such.

    november is coming up and there are so many events that i want to attend.

    lets see...

    i currently attend college.

    i live with my parents

    my dad says i lost all tradition and such because i hang out with my friends too much.

    starting last night, i'm not allowed out unless i'm going over to a relative's house and talk to them for fun.

    what fueled the flame?

    well, he told me to print out pictures of his niece for him and for me to get a satellite system from ebay a few weeks ago. i procrastinated.

    i waited almost three weeks to do both of them (i just got them done with earlier this week).

    within that time period, he asks me why i tell my mom about anything and not tell him. he tells me that she's not in charge of the house and that i have to ask him for permission to leave the house.

    he also tells me that i'm the reason why this house isn't happy. house as in my parents, me, and my younger brother.

    he wants me to be more family oriented, talk to the relatives, sit next to the men and listen to the conversations during family get-togethers.

    last week, he goes and grabs a wooden stick from the garage and starts poking me in the head asking me if i'm scared of him hitting me.

    he also yells at me asking me why i don't do what he asks ASAP. i mean shit...getting (illegal) free satellite is important huh.

    one night after hanging out my my best girl-friend's house, i walk in the door. he asks where i went. i told him i went out. then he says, "the next time you do this, fuck school. you won't live here anymore. you'll be going to be living prison." i don't know why he said i'm going to prison but whatever.

    this past tuesday, i went to watch a movie with my friends (that are still in high school) afterschool with them knowing that i have to be at my grandmother's to eat at 5pm. i admit, it was my fault for not leaving a note. so i get there at around 5.40-6.00 because of traffic. that's cool, he didn't utter a word to me about going out without asking for permission. i find it slightly ironic...while i was sitting down in the living room, my aunt and grandmother both asked why i look depressed for the past couple weeks. "i don't know"

    yesterday comes by. my dad eats dinner. i'm already done with dinner. i tell him i'm going over to 16's house to help her with her homework. he tells me to sit down. "if she wants help with her homework, she can come here." i tell him i offered to help her. "don't give me an attitude. pick up the phone and call her and tell her you can't go." i told him i don't lie to people. "then tell her your parents didn't let you go."

    then he goes about telling me that in this world, people have to lie in order to get the job that they want. that may be true but i'm not like that. i said to him, i just got hired at ---- ---- and i didn't lie to them. what wrong with me?

    "shut the fuck up. whatever i can get my hands on, it'll be thrown into your face." (i spy a bowl of rice, chopsticks, fish, bowl is soup in the corner of my eye)

    so i just went in my room and called 16 and told her the story. she was also having a bad day. i tried to cheer her up but it seemed as if i was failing. with me not being able to help her, i felt bad...on top of what was happening in my home-life.

    last night, my dad tells me that he'll let me go out again once he sees me "improve being good."

    i really want to go to these shows and events so i'm thinking about saying fuck home and bounce the fizzle out. what sucks even more is that i told 16 about some of those events too. today she asks, "since you're not able to go, who am i going to go with?" i told her she could go with "hold the cup" & "sean daley." "but i want to go with you," she says. aWw i felt special. (she's my ex). but yeah, i just don't want this oppurtunity to pass since she's never seen aesop in concert or go to a kewl hiphop jam.

    the original intention was to not make it into a poll.

    anyway, i talked to friend and they said it's cool. they just have to talk to the owner of the place. since i just got hired at the new job, i can help pay some of the bills and give them discounts on items. i also plan to finish the rest of this semester. once i'm done with school (early december) i want to drop my the house and drop off the car.

    god, i wonder if i left anything out.

    well, thanks for taking a very long time to read this post.

    any input is welcome. bad or good.

    now i leave with with this: enjoy
     
  2. D3N53one

    D3N53one Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 13, 2002 Messages: 1,484 Likes Received: 0
    leave and be yourself.
     
  3. Swiffer Jet

    Swiffer Jet Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 14, 2003 Messages: 2,669 Likes Received: 0
  4. krie

    krie Guest

    hit tha roaddddd

    how old are you ?
    my old man said "he owns me" i just ended up whackin him one in the face and fighting with him till i got the point through he dont own me :lol: then he kicked me out for a while.... but anyway, up and leave brother.. if ur at college you must be mature and old enough to be living independently.. got a job ? that will help out with paying bills, etc..
     
  5. BOZACK

    BOZACK Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 999 Likes Received: 0
    there's nothing wrong with asking you to spend more time with family, but your dad sounds like a manipulative ASSHOLE. prodding you in the head with a stick? asking you if you're scared of him hitting you?? the guy is like, abusive or something, like totally.

    and making youo perform dumb tasks for him like printing out pics of his niece? he can do that his fucking self as far as i'm soncerned.

    GET OUT FAST. by the way, how old are you?
     
  6. Ski Mask

    Ski Mask 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 11,114 Likes Received: 209
    do you have to ask? LEAVE. after a while the women in your family will be harrasing your father so much about pushing you away that he might cave in and stop being a complete asshole. he'll have to cave.....he's not the decision maker he thinks he is.

    bottom line, that atmosphere is no good for you. get out at any cost.
     
  7. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    Homey ... I think its time for you to leave. Save up as much money as possible, and get out ASAP.
     
  8. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    your dad's a dickhead and you should get the fuck outta there. you said you got yourself a job, so you got money. find someone to share a place with and jet
     
  9. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 22, 2003 Messages: 13,986 Likes Received: 311

    yes do that, but get a band nerd pregnant
     
  10. BOZACK

    BOZACK Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 999 Likes Received: 0
    no swif's dad is being horribly mean
     
  11. CAPiTA

    CAPiTA Member

    Joined: Apr 13, 2003 Messages: 667 Likes Received: 0
    I would say get out as soon as you feel you're ready to live on your own and have a job. Just don't become one of those dirty guys that ask me for spare change.
     
  12. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    sounds like me, except i'm too embarrased to talk about it. i guesss you could attribute it to the fact that my mom is a fucking nutcase, and i'm a minor. i think that if she still causes me problems when i turn 18, i would rather be homeless than stay here. maybe.
     
  13. fatbastard

    fatbastard Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 30, 2002 Messages: 2,880 Likes Received: 10
    that shits not cool

    i'm tellingt you move out for a couple of months and make minimal contact, even if shits going really cadly, pretend like your having the time of your life and doing really really well...

    then tell your parents you will move back in under some conditions and you have to compromise (if you want to move back in that is)
     
  14. Vanity

    Vanity Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 7,673 Likes Received: 6
    first off... leave, dumbass.

    second.. dating a highschooler? :nope:

    third.. times are tough all around.. shit, my entire fam is unemployed, practically, no insurance, bro is suicidal, and i got madd legal and monetary probs...

    if you're going to leave... make sure you can... don't go crawling back.
     
  15. Smart

    Smart Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 14, 2000 Messages: 17,017 Likes Received: 174
    I didn't mean for this to be so morbid but... it's the underlying psychology as I see it so...

    your dad loves you swiff, he's just confused by his asian standards versus your american standards... he's not gonna learn.

    You should figure out how to streamline the shit he wants done, illegal cable or whatever, just get it done... make it happen as soon as he asks, you'll impress him if you guage his 'need' properly and shove some stuff off to get other stuff done but still do it all... and keep your grades up in school.

    What it is, he doesn't understand the world you're entering (meaning this big USA) OR the way you're entering it (meaning your personal style)... he's on the outside and worried. He worries about your future and he worries about his ability to raise you. He probably worries a bit about 'face' as well but I only say that because it's such a big thing in the asian community...

    One thing you might want to understand... your family is EVERYTHING. I''m sure he tells you this constantly, but it really is. As you get older, you will reach a point where somebody you know or are related to gets seriously hurt or dies at least once a year. After that the rate of death/injury increases... When that happens, you realize how few relatives you really have, compared to the number of people you know. You really should set aside a particular hour or two, every week, to go hang out and chat with the fam, after that you could even go out...

    Anyway, what I'm saying is, stay and figure it out. Your dad is being an asshole because he loves you, he just can't say that. I'm sure you love your dad too so it's your duty to understand what he can't say and just figure out how to reassure him without raising the issue.

    If he dies, and believe me when I tell you that he thinks about it, at least some of his stuff will be yours. This is stuff that he's worked for and kept for a reason, he wants to think it will all stay the way he left it if he goes...
     
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