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Stripfights and friends


RoboThruster

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Its Saturday around mid day and I wake up with some whitey ford type voice in my head singing to me "its going to be alright" over and over. This I took as a good omen. I am infact hoping it is all going to be alright for a number of reasons. None of which you care about.

 

I get up and call an old friend I've been meaning to catch up with. He's a good friend. One of those ones whose always done the right thing by me without fail. He's from a reasonably more privileged background than the rest of our posse, but he is very sharp and has none of the little pretensions you'de expect a rich boy to have. For the sake of the story we can call him "Frog Face Skintastic" (I've never told him but he really does look like a balemic frog).

 

I call Frogface, shoot some shit and organise to get drunk with him. Turns out his little brother is having his 21st in the evening. I was hesistant since last time I saw his little brother we weren't getting along very well, but eventually he twisted my arm.

 

So I hop a bus to their house in this inner city ghetto which is slowly becoming the art fag capital of our town. I arrive just as Frog faces bro and his friends are leaving for some random place in our city's red light district. Me and frogface sit and catch up a bit. I have a bottle of bourbon and frog for some reason has a bottle of champagne wrapped in a latex holder which apparently was designed by loui vetton ( sp).

 

We sit on his balcony drinking and laughing at his bottle of champagne for a while. And he tells me how he ran from the police a few weeks back. Jumping off a bridge into a backyard and over a fence into another backyard, during the process of which he managed to graze both his cheeks severely, split open his lip and make his nose bleed. Exciting times for all.

 

We finish of our drinks and go downstairs to say goodbye to frogfaces mom. She runs this charity I've been meaning to volunteer for. So I talk to her about that. The idea of me doing some volunteer work seemed to raise her opinion of me considerably. Since her son had recently been served with a cout summons and I had once asked for her help during a court case of my own. I got the impression that she felt her sons friends weren't very good for him. The fact that I was now at her house, while she was hosting a dinner party of her own, rapidly consuming a bottle of bourbon was kind of met with some apprehension by her until I mentioned the charity thing.

 

We stumble up the street and jump in a taxi

 

To be continued...

 

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DISCLAIMER

 

This story is really doesn't deserve a thread of its own. I am just excessively bored. I tried to make it entertaining with dramatic tone but I think it now just sounds wanky. I'm considering writting the next installation with a gangsta rap persona. So vote on that.

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^ yeah cos calling me a fucker will really make me want to finish my story. Way to jump on the bandwagon. You should change your name to Generic 12 oz cockhead number 3 million and four. :rolleyes:

 

Anyway, Part 2.

 

Frogface and I stop of to pick up his girlsfriend who incidently has just gotten a kitten she decided to name after me. She's a few years older than both frogface and myself. Now that I consider it, this is probably exactly what frog and I require in our long term relationships (a certain degree of maturity), so I'm glad that atleast one of us has found it.

 

She is keen to get to know me better, but I at this point am alittle drunk and incoherent. Still I do my best to make small talk. I ask about her kitten and make sure its not one of those odd bod hairless ones. I tell her " I cant have some freaky bald reject kitten sharing my name with me". We laugh about shit like this until we reach the redlight district. Frogface pays and says we can just give him our spare change. His girlfriend mockingly says "I'm not a spare change kind of girl frogface". I reply "I'm definately a spare change kind of guy".

 

We go up to the second story of this small bar that has a seedy yet somehow homley feel to it. I buy a stupidly overpriced beer and nurse it like its on life support. Frogfaces little brother is there with his close friends. So I wish him a happy birthday and he tells me he's glad I came. We smooth things over some more, talk some shit and he hooks me up with a dose of the champagne he's been buying with his birthday money.

 

I also shoot shit with his best friend who we can call Crash Bandicoot (he's a skater with a mullet). Crash Banidcoot is not often referred to by his real name. He is one of those guys who is such a different person when he starts drinking that his drunken alter ego has been given a name of its own (Tipsy Mcstagger). When ever tipsy comes out ridiculousness ensues, this includes jumping up and down on peoples cars for no reason and throwing drinks in peoples faces. Just stupid shit really. Despite this Crash, when he is crash, is really a nice guy who is just trying to deal with his drinking problem. I talk to him about the adventures of tipsy and the like.

 

We drink on like this for a few hours. I reject one of the close friends's girl who is flirting with me while her sick boyfriend goes to get something to eat. And we organise for these drunken birds on the dance floor to surround the birthdayboy for a lap dance. (One of them can stand on her head bboy style and spread her legs. A manovuer Crash tells me he saw in a strip club the night before). Eventually its time for the birthday speeches.

 

Crash and Frogface relay a few small embarresing tales. But as the speech drags on Frogface looses interest and Crash proceeds to relay the entire course of Birthday boys sexual history, much to the dismay of his newly aquired girlfriend. It really is a bit much ( 20 minutes of straight sexual punchlines) and even I, being as fond of Crash as I am, turn around to start talking to that girl who was flirting with me earlier.

 

Meanwhile Frogfaces girlfriend is becomming more and more heated as she has formed some kind of bond with Birthday boys lady. She pulls me aside to mention how Crash has become obsessed with the sex lives of his friends because he is frustrated with his own pussy drought. (The life of a skater with a big head and a mullet can be a lonely one indeed). Things get a bit tense and we decide its time to leave the establishment.

 

Frogfaces girlfriend is still pissed and frogface is feeling a bit irratable. I walk out onto the street and see a used condom on the ground. Birthday boy and friends decided they want something to eat before we leave the redlight district. We head towards some late night food place.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

The final chapter is comming soon

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So we are walking along and we find a late night kebab shop, I tell the man I want a mixed donor roll with everything except red cabbage. I hand over the cash. We stand at the bus stop, I finish my kebab and ask frogface for a cigarette he picks up a piece of metal pipe from the floor and proceeds to smash all of the windows on the bus stop, then turns to his girlfriend and starts smashing her in the face with it. I pickpocket frogface for his fags and stand smoking one while I watch the spectacle, the girlfriend must be half dead by now, he is being really unrelenting.

To be continued...

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