story jokes

a guy goes to the doctor for an annual check up. the doctor runs dozens of test on him. the guy is waiting in the room for the doctor to come back with the results of his tests. the doctor comes in the room and says "im sorry to inform you but we found a tumor in your brain and you dont have much longer to live." then the guy replies "what do you mean doctor? how much longer DO i have left to live?" then the doctor says "ten". the guy replies "ten what? ten months? ten weeks? ten what?" then the doctor answers "nine..."

this man and his wife are driving down the road and they get in this horrific car accident...the man is un harmed but his wife is seriously injured and must be taken to the hospital. After hours of waiting while doctors try to help his wife a doctor comes into the waiting room to talk to the guy. The doctor says "sir I am sorry but we have some bad news, you wife is alive but she has lost all of her brain funtions and will never walk again or have a coherent thaught, you will hav eto bathe her yourself, clean up after her when her bowels move orshe urinitaes, you will have to feed her, give her all of her medicines, she is blind and deaf, and missing her arms and legs also...." The man replies back "Oh my god thats horrible" "the doctor goes no itisn't I was just bullshittin ya....your wife is dead"

one day I was walking down the street then all of a sudden the onion on my pants fell off. But then out of know ware the elf poped out and started to give the pope head. So i waped it with my huge cock. then all was well in middel earth.

you sir are an idiot