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So my new girlfriends got a million dollars...


SleepAnDream

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you heard it right. i met this girl a couple weeks into my divorce (yeah, you heard right again) at a house party at a boys house. chillin there, drinking a 40 when i look over to see an interesting sight. wait. what is it? ah yes, a random hot girl. nice. so there she is, talking some mumbojumbo about koolaid, asking people what flavor they would be if they were the koolaid. so this dude sneaks in, trying to smooth talk and asks her what flavor SHE would be. me, being the chubby rico swave of 2005 pipes in:

"shit fool, she aint a flavor, shes the sugar that makes kool aid sweet."

Zing. who wouldve thought that THE worst line in history would get my foot in the door? ha, not i. anyways...were chillaxin, shooting the shit. i get hammered and fall asleep. enter a week later...

i see said girl at another party surrounded by dudes. i weasle in, shoot the shit and BAM! get her number. chubby boy:2 erryone else:0.

we chill a couple times, i invite her to go see talib kweli. she accepts. zing. CRS2005:3, the rest of the world:0. so the day comes, i call her and she says shes mighty sick. gay. wtf? whatever. so i drop it and go to the show (which was great btw) come to find out, she tells me she wasnt sick after all. were making out pretty hard, im groping the funbags and she goes "damn, be careful, theyre new." whaaaat? zing. nice. sick my fucking arse. so anyways, the days progress, i start learning a bit about her. turns out, her dad had a big life insurance policy. well, he got killed by a drunk when she was 2. enter the bazillion dollars. holy shit. the convo was slightly akward. evidently everyone in her life is after her $$$. go figure. but i really had no clue and it makes little difference to me. regardless. i dont know..shes got mad good qualities about her...she rides an r6, shes crazy, shes hot, shes hilarious, shes a sexual demon, shes got ginormous breasts, shes super generous, shes great at pool and shes willing to fufill ALL fantasies ive ever had (including fucking me in a yard while drinking a 40 of OE, listening to headphones and smoking a cigg and also having a threesom with another broad) ha...seriously, i really could go on and on. hrmm. but im rambling. anyways, i figured id share. this girl is one of which i will never come across again...i guess the only thing is, the only morals i have are still kind of working. see,my divorce isnt even finalized...april 10th. i dont know. i really have no point...kind of just needed to vent...eat a dick.

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some real advice....

 

you said it yourself, she feels that people are after her cash,

so you dont want to be one of those people. Just play it

chill, have all the crazy sex and other such fun you can.

Dont ever bring up money or she might get defensive. In fact,

if you insist on paying for her she'll probably think you're tops.

 

yeah... then knock her up.

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fuck it. ill ride it into the ground.

 

but yeah, not mass right now. down in the DC metro area. but ill be back up that way this summer, hence the 400 mile relocation comment. the yard sex will come...oh it will. that came about too by a simple comment

 

 

"i could die happy" i said once.

 

"oh really? no, wait, what would it take for that comment to be serious? what would need to happen for you to just be like, i could die happy, nothing could be better and life would just be meaningless after this moment. what would that moment be?" she asked.

 

so i told her..

"a warm summer day, painting a daytime burner, drinking a 40. headphones on, jedi blasting my eardrums out, cigarette hanging from my lips all while getting the most crucial dome ever.. yes, i do believe i would die happy."

 

her "thats all? thats easy enough. lets do it."

 

me. "jesus. youre the girl dudes write songs about and shit."

 

 

sheeeeeit.

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he'll be posting on 12oz about 'remember that hot rich girl who let him put it in her ass in the first week? yeah, she's a whore now'.

 

that's the problem with enviable qualities...everyone else envy's them as well. in the long run, you can't win at those odds.

 

not to be all old man gloom and shit, but you know it's true.

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