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So I made my woman vomit last night.

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Poop Man Bob, Feb 20, 2004.

  1. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    The woman and I were in the shower getting clean. I had eaten a hamburger Totino's pizza about an hour earlier, and the inevitable gas was settling in. I, of course, farted. But this wasn't your normal, noisy, cheek-rattling-type fart. This was one of those farts that sounds like "chhhhhh" - nothing but pure, unadulterated gas.

    Needless to say, it stunk. I laughed, she grimaced, and I got out of the shower a few minutes later so she could shave her legs. After about thirty seconds I could feel another fumer brewing, so I opened up the shower curtain on one end, stuck my ass in, expelled, and promptly shut the curtain. I immediately knew that this one was worse, as it had about double the volume of the first. It didn't take more than a few seconds for me to smell what I had done - and recall that I'm standing outside of the shower. It was fucking putrid. You know how people don't mind smelling their own farts, but others' always stink? Fuck that - this smelled like shit.

    "DAMMIT!" She wasn't happy, but I certainly was. I began cracking up and walked into my bedroom. A few moments later, I hear her half coughing-half gagging. I walk back into the bathroom and, between laughs, ask her if she's about to throw up. She doesn't really answer, so I go back into my room.

    Then I heard it: the distinctive sound of vomitting. My eyes widened and a grin spread across my face. Could it be? Did a fart really make her puke? Hell fucking yes! I screamed out, "DID YOU JUST PUKE?!?" A pissed off reply of "YES" gave me the good news. I doubled over in laughter and made my way back into the bathroom to 1) see if she's ok, and 2) revel in my victory.

    She was a tad pissed off, and my inability to apologize without laughing the whole time didn't help. She did get over it though and does realize that a truly awesome event occurred. Hell, she even asked if I had made a thread on 12oz about it yet, thus spurring me to do so.

    I should attach a caveat to this story, however: she's a puker. Always has been. She used to puke due to nervousness before first dates with guys. She spent the entire night after I asked her to marry me in the bathroom spilling her guts to her dear friend Commode. Be that as it may, I still find it amazing that one of my farts could bring someone to the point of unintentional regurgitation.
  2. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    haaha! The heat from the shower probably intensified the effects as well.
    All those ass molecules floating on a cloud of steam must have made a concoction as thick as pea soup.
  3. WorldBench

    WorldBench Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 27, 2003 Messages: 9,391 Likes Received: 275
    :lol: i know when i fart in the shower it gets pretty bad, but man i feel for her :lol:
  4. amish son

    amish son Senior Member

    Joined: May 18, 2003 Messages: 2,149 Likes Received: 0
    thats classic! :lol:
  5. CIPHER_one

    CIPHER_one Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 3, 2000 Messages: 2,300 Likes Received: 0
    man, sounds like your life is pretty good right now.

    congrads on the puker.
  6. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    Hahaha. Love is in the air.
  7. DETO

    DETO Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,350 Likes Received: 154
    :lol: PMB bringing the FUNK!

    BOZACK Member

    Joined: Oct 19, 2003 Messages: 999 Likes Received: 0
  9. Telo

    Telo Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 3, 2003 Messages: 4,164 Likes Received: 37
    Now THIS is what you call a thread!!
  10. rental

    rental Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 1, 2001 Messages: 7,641 Likes Received: 2

    awwww, somehow i find this sweet. the rest of the story?
    my man would catch a fucking beating if i threw up from
    one of his fart pranks. but if he thought it was so funny, i
    dont think i could help from smiling...damn it! i hate boys!
    stench+half shaved legs+vomit splatter+wet and soapy+
    wrestling and punching. the aftermath would be towels
    all over the floor of the house, open windows, another
    shower, band aids on my legs, and my man asking for a
    blow job.
  11. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    HAHAHAHA! Awesome, rental. The rest of the story? Click here.
  12. RAGSOE

    RAGSOE New Jack

    Joined: May 11, 2002 Messages: 11 Likes Received: 1
    if you know me, you know how important these types of things are to me.

    i almost cryed with laughter and emotion.

    people, it does not will not, nay, can not, get better then that.

    pmb, i salute thee, brethren of the brown cloth...
  13. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    Upon a second reading, this is my final analysis:

    True Love.
  14. krie

    krie Guest

    You are the man PMB :lol:
  15. deadasdreams

    deadasdreams Member

    Joined: Apr 18, 2003 Messages: 486 Likes Received: 0
    i just woke up my roommate from laughing so hard.that's classic...and also kinda really gross.oh well...good times.