Sexual Parents

I was talking about this with a group of friends the other day which led to some hillarious stories...

Has anybody ever walked in on their parents having sex?....share stories.

So gross when its your own folks....so funny when its someone elses.

oh my god that would be terrible, horrible terrible

many years ago, when i was a young'un i was staying the night at a mates house and all throught the night we could hear "bang bang bang" as the bed rocked.

thats the best i can do.

i found out my girl can hear her parents at night because her room is near their's in the house.

"it sucks, i can hear my mom moan"

In 6th grade my friend and I caught her dad doing it with his girlfriend. They quickly tried to cover themselves with the sheets, but his girlfriend's bare ass was hanging out. My friend and her dad still invite me to dinner regularly.

My childhood boyfriend caught his scary step dad getting a blow job from his mom. His step dad looked liked a mean Burt Reynolds with a pick up truck. No wonder he's all fucked up....

Originally posted by Fuck Ya'll

 

My childhood boyfriend caught his scary step dad getting a blow job from his mom. His step dad looked liked a mean Burt Reynolds with a pick up truck. No wonder he's all fucked up....

this should somehow be drawn into the simpsons.

when i was growing up my mom and her boyfriend could be heard through out

the whole neighborhood. that really sucked. id be playing in the yard with friends

and youd hear them through the fan in their window. it sounded like her boyfriend was darth vader. now that i think about it, it was pretty funny.:lol:

TURBO AIDS

Maybe not bein a teenager anymore has put a damper on the grossout factor of my parents havin sex or any parents for that matter..but I say good for them, I mean they could be doin alot worse right...sex is a healthy, wonderful thing and I encourage all ages to participate, even if it means poppin a Viagra...fuck it..keep fuckin* -oh and it really paints a picture on the current state of domestic living to hear comments like my dads girlfriend, or my stepdad, or the neighbor, or this scumbag guy my mom is hookin up with----2004 relationships lol

pretty menacing thread title

i walked in on my parents as they were making my little brother.

all i wanted to do was watch some saturday morning cartoons.:o

nope. never.

thank god.

and my Dad has had some hot girlfriends

but I still wouldnt want to see that happen.

damn...I was hoping Kilo had an entertaining story....oh well. Luckily...I never walked in on my parents...at least that I noticed.

ungh...sorry to disapoint but nope.

My Dad's dated a few models and some girls WAY closer to my age than his,

but still NO FREAKIN WAY!

^^ ha-ha...

Back in high school we picked up one of our friends from his house. We got about 5 minutes away when he realized he forgot his wallet....so we turn around and go back. He walks in the house and his parents are gone from the front room. He goes and finds his wallet and is about to leave when he decides that maybe he should check and make sure they are ok...because they seemed set for the evening. He walked up to their bedroom and opened the door only to see his old man making the beast with two backs with his crusty ass old mom. He turned around and left immediately. When he came back to the car...he was white as a ghost and didn't talk for nearly 10 minutes. He finally told us what happened. I think every single person in that car was laughing so hard they were crying. This poor bastard also called his parents on the phone (something like 10 years later) only to have his mom pick up the receiver and not hang it up. He heard his parents having sex. The next time he talked to his mom...he told her to hang up the phone first...before she left it off the hook.

/ jk.

I've been the camera man for them on more than one occasion...

pops is a freak!

:lol:

Where's Mams when we need him?

when my family was on vacation once in san diego, my little brother and i were in one motel room while my mom and stepdad were in an adjoining one. we all went to bed, and about ten minutes later we could hear the bed in the other room rocking and both of them moaning. my little brother (who is slightly mentally handicapped) started to get up out of bed, and i told him to go back to sleep. he asked if the noise he was hearing was the seals in the harbor a few blocks away. i said yes, it's the seals. he went back to bed and kept laughing at the "seal noises" while i didn't sleep at all, because they went a couple rounds. i just got really creeped out and walked around smoking cigarettes all night. yuck.

i didn't hold it against them, but i just said something along the lines of "next time we go somewhere, the motel rooms shouldn't be next to each other."

my parents had a massive 80s porn collection. all the 80s stars, shit was ridiculous. when i was 7 or 8 i used to have this babysitter shelby, and she would make me watch the porn w/ her and one of her gf's. i dont ever remeber being touched though. wonder if i blocked it out?

Originally posted by GamblersGrin

when i was 7 or 8 i used to have this babysitter shelby, and she would make me watch the porn w/ her and one of her gf's.

You should've taken advantage of them

i'm getting horny thinking about all these horny moms. and horny babysitters.

IVE HEARD THEM BEFORE ....I TURNED UP MY STEREO

my parents don't have sex. i was concieved by IVF. in fact, my parents don't even have genitals. they're like barbie dolls.

now shut up and talk about something else before i say hello to my breakfast again

when i was young i walked into my parents room to get a kleenex at like 3 in the morning...sure enough there they were fucking away...as soon as i walked in they hella stopped and jumped off eachother..i ran back to my bed and i was like WHAT THE FUCK!

thank god it was dark i didnt see much

my dad came to me the next morning at breakfast and was like.."keep a kleenex box in your own room from now on"

This one little 5 year old girl was at my friends house being babysat. and she said that her parents SHOWED her what sex was by doing it themselves as a way to introduce her to the birds and bees. fucking terrible. my friend asked her what it was that they were doing and she said, "sex is where my dad rubs his belly on my moms boobs really hard and she moans, it makes love happen."

Wish I wasnt there.

i used to hear my dad and his girlfriend humping like retarded gorillas, bellowing in unison... the first time they did it i was like 10, and i cried.

fuck this thread reminds me of some wicked shit

never seen my moms have sex but walked in on my dad and step mom looked like to bears fightin for food

Originally posted by gfreshsushi

when my family was on vacation once in san diego, my little brother and i were in one motel room while my mom and stepdad were in an adjoining one. we all went to bed, and about ten minutes later we could hear the bed in the other room rocking and both of them moaning. my little brother (who is slightly mentally handicapped) started to get up out of bed, and i told him to go back to sleep. he asked if the noise he was hearing was the seals in the harbor a few blocks away. i said yes, it's the seals. he went back to bed and kept laughing at the "seal noises" while i didn't sleep at all, because they went a couple rounds. i just got really creeped out and walked around smoking cigarettes all night. yuck.

 

i didn't hold it against them, but i just said something along the lines of "next time we go somewhere, the motel rooms shouldn't be next to each other."

Sorry dude but this is the funniest shit I've read in a long long time. :lol:

Originally posted by BigOatser

This one little 5 year old girl was at my friends house being babysat. and she said that her parents SHOWED her what sex was by doing it themselves as a way to introduce her to the birds and bees. fucking terrible. my friend asked her what it was that they were doing and she said, "sex is where my dad rubs his belly on my moms boobs really hard and she moans, it makes love happen."

 

 

Wish I wasnt there.

:lol: :lol: Thats just wrong