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serious help is needed and will be appreciated

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by sneak, Mar 11, 2003.

  1. sneak

    sneak Guest

    befor i start, i would like to ask the pointless reply posters to stay out of this thread...

    im having the worst fucking time possoble at home right now, i seriously need some advice on how to controll the urges to leave home / sort my mother out.

    the situation between the two of us is disgracefull. we are always fighting / argueing and i really, really need to find out a way to sort this all out.

    i would go and stay with my older brother, but he is at uni and im in the middle of important exams. cant move out cos im not old enough - mentally or physically able to support myself either.

    i dont know how to deal with the bitch. ive tried not talking to her, not being around (she called the police when i stormed out after the last fight). nothing i do seems to be good enough

    i was hoping that heads like zest, kabar, europe and all the other sensible heads on here could drop some advice / stories of their own..

    peace. sneak
     
  2. eseLokE1uno

    eseLokE1uno Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 1,280 Likes Received: 0
    It depends on what your conditions are in order to make any good point. I have a lot of friends with problems at home most of the time its thier fault for not being responsible and dissrespecting their parents, but if your mom really is a bitch then try to find a low-rent apartment and split the rent with a friend:eek:
     
  3. RAGSOE

    RAGSOE New Jack

    Joined: May 11, 2002 Messages: 11 Likes Received: 1
    sneak, trust me, it will pass. if it takes until after school and maybe even until you get out of the house and get a job, you and moms will be okay. patience is essential from 14 to 18, "high school" for some. if you don't figure out a way to remain calm you'll just end up getting arrested, and it's hard to release someone from jail to home when they were just arrested thier, so you usually stay up to three days. which ain't shit. well, thats america. are you over 18?...
     
  4. vinyl junkie

    vinyl junkie Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 17, 2002 Messages: 4,725 Likes Received: 0
    ride it out... i've ended up homeless because i didn't wanna deal with shit at home... being homeless sucks...
    finish school, get out when you can, in the end you'll be a better person for it... half of life is putting up with everyone else's shit... it sucks, but it's the truth...
    and if there's even a possibilty of getting on better terms with your mom you probably stand a better chance of doing it when you still see her on a regular basis...
    and if it gets to be too much, take a break... stay with friends for a few days (after your tests are done...)... last summer turned into a break from my family... 3 1/2 months of being homeless, 2 of them out of the state, and when i got back, things were still shitty at home, but they were different...
    and the fact of the matter is, if were not living at home there'd be no way i could be going to school, or at least not as much as i am...
    ride it out, it'll be werth it in the end...
     
  5. eseLokE1uno

    eseLokE1uno Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 1,280 Likes Received: 0
    ^^^good advice, i had a friend that became kinda homeless cuz he was lazy and didnt want to deal with his parents but i made him do shit when he kicked it at my place and the fool went back home:)
     
  6. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    It might be wise to actually sit down and talk to her. Sit down, keep a calm head and show her you want to sort out a reasonable solution to all of this. Discuss what exactly her problems are with you and why you think she's such a bitch (or English slang equivalent).

    I went through the exact same thing. Moms being over protective which lead to me hating hearing her voice which lead to me leaving home at 18. I chose the hard way.

    7 years later I'm just getting my life together because I was too busy trying to pay rent and just hustling to have something to eat. Guess what? I had to move back in with moms to afford to go to school.

    So, my advice is try to work it out. That might mean going to absurd lengths to appease her, it might mean hating hearing her voice, but when you are done college and land a job... Hello, Freedom!
     
  7. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

    dont dig out on school homie.
    ride that shit out and try to talk stuff out with your moms.
    good luck.:)
     
  8. Pistol

    Pistol Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Jul 12, 2001 Messages: 19,363 Likes Received: 299
    everything i was gonna say has been posted.
    stick it out man. don't really know the specifics of the hostility between you two but i'm assuming it the usual stuff.
    i would just relax. don't worry about wanting to fuck around get drunk/lit whatever and party all night. do semi decent in school and not get into trouble and shit should ease up a bit.
    i fucked around alot in high school getting busted for selling writing etc. so that didn't really help out too much.
    i did alot of stupid shit that just escalated matters.

    even after school i fucked up alot and got into alot of dangerous situations that probably aggrevated stuff as well.

    if you can ride out high school i'm sure things will get better.
     
  9. T.T Boy

    T.T Boy Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 18, 2001 Messages: 21,803 Likes Received: 41
    stay at home.
    its that simple.
    ride out your teenage years. they will be hard but you can deal.
    homosexual undertone right there.
     
  10. dork

    dork Member

    Joined: Apr 2, 2002 Messages: 399 Likes Received: 0
    read this... had the same problem for 6 years

    sometimes it's really hard to see eye to with the moms..i know. i have told my mom fuck you, i hate you, why you rat me out to the cops count less times over ad over in my younger days. now days me and my mom can talkj again..but it's hard to say it even if you don't want to. sorry is awalys a good start. but you sound like me, what you need to do is find something that will take your mind away for a little bit, and i don't mean burning or drinking. what i used to do is go out and skateas hard as i could skate. one thing is for sure don't go and cruse with your friends. i know friends are awalys there, but it's alot easyier to think alone. but if you try and think when your fusstrated you'll go crazy or have unsound thoughts. some type of physical activity is a good way or relseing the stree, and that will help you think. i suggest getting out of the house for a little bit, but not to long. she needs just as much time to think about cerrent situations as much as you need to contenplate things to. but when you can find reson sit down and talk to her as adults and not as mother and son. as weird as that might of just sounded it's easyier to talk to her as a peer as it wouls be easier for her to talk to you as an adult, but don't forget she is your mom. and like i said before sorry is a good way to start the conversation off... just know why your saying sorrry or it's pointless.
    hope this helps and you and your moms can make peace

    ]:{o>
     
  11. seven.13

    seven.13 Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Oct 5, 2000 Messages: 3,572 Likes Received: 19
    Like alot of people said, just stick it out.
    I'm doing that right now..only 3 more months!
    As hard as it is to swallow your pride and any other urges to lash out or act as shitty to her as she is to you just try and be quiet, get a job, save money and do fairly well at school so you'll have more options once you CAN leave. Avoid confrontations as much as possible....
     
  12. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    sneak how old are you ? i have a similair problem, except that my mom is manic-depressive, paranoid schitzophrenic, and treats me like im in kindergarten. im 16 and i cant go anywhere by my self. if someone else was in my situation i would tell them not to take shit and quit being a pussy, i guess i know who the real pussy is. it was ok untill 4 weeks ago. my brother found paint, dye, and flicks in my room. she took me out of school. i stay up untill it gets light and sleep untill 3. i have developed a tic, and im eating way too much. i havent smoked in a month but i still crave it every day. i was taking the tobacco out of my cigg im lucky because unlike last time, i can control my urges for graffiti. i just try not to think about it, and i catch scribes in bathroom mirrors when i can. when i wake up i lay in bed and wish i could just sleep all day. waking up is when i feel the worst.
     
  13. sneak

    sneak Guest

    thanks everyone so far....
    rags, and arcl..im still 17, so i cant move out as of yet...

    and vinyl, thats a damn good idea bout staying with mates for a bit. thanks (again)
     
  14. sneak, thanks for calling me a sensible head. I dont know if I am one though. I think alot of other people already have contributed with good advice and I didnt have the same problem with my parents, I love my mom, always have.

    I say stick with your mom too, but try and talk to her about what you feel is a problem and what she thinks is a problem. Communication is the key.
     
  15. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    Hey i was one of the few heads that was lucky enough to have a mom and a dad in the home. I always had problems with my mom. As a young kid it was more physical abuse like beating me around when i pissed her off. Then when i got bigger than her it turned to mental abuse, You know just constantly in my ear saying shit like "you're a fucking idiot, You'll never make it in life with out our help, You're a little piece of shit." You know it seems like these aren't the worst things people can say about you but when it comes from some one that is supposed to love you unconditionally, it hurts. I was lucky to have my dad there to hold me back when i was gonna swing on her or actually tell her to "Shut the fuck up," when she would go to far. I could always go to mad dad and ask him "What the fuck is her problem?"

    But when i turned about 17 my dad moved to VA for a better job which left me at home all alone with her. I tried everything like you said, i tried to just stay out of her way, not talk to her, keep to myself but it seemed like she would go out of her way to keep me down. It got to the point where i was either going to leave or i was going to end up beating her to death, so i left. I moved into a 2 bedroom apt with 3 other friends and went to school when ever i could. My mom ended up coming to the school and talking with my deans and shit all super nice like "I don't have any idea what could be wrong with him? Is there any way to force him back home? I'm really worried about him." The thing that pissed me off was they were eating this hsit up like i was some kind of monster putting my mom through hell.

    At anyrate i lived on my own and it was hard. On top of school work i had to make money. I couldn't find a job anywhere so i resorted to stealing alcohol and selling it to kids at inflated prices for a living. Well i finally got arrested and went to jail for the shit. I went to move back in when i finished up finals in highschool but they were both moving to VA. I couldn't go wth them because of my court dates and probation and all this types of shit. So i just told them that yeah i have a place to stay here and i dont want to go to VA. Well i didn't really have anywhere to go so i ended up homeless with nothing but a suitcase with a few outfits. This was the shittiest point of my life not having anymoney, anywhere to go, and no food. I ended up moving in with my boy and his mom in the fuckin hood again adn gettin a job. I kept fuckin gettin arrested for stupid shit and got to the point where i was like "I gotta get outta this state." While i was on probation i violated and went to court for the shit and was locked up about 2 months before i was supposed to move with my dude. Well i got out of jail about a month after he had already been livin at the spot and the county went to put me on another 2 onths probation on me. I just said fuck it and moved outta state any way and went back every month for my probation hearings.

    But the fucked up thing is me and my mother get along great right now. I went to talk to her about why she did the things she did when i was a kid, and she looked at me like she didn't know what i was talking about. That pissed me off more than anything but sometimes you just have to be willing to squash the beef so that life can go on.

    Sorry this is so long but i just thought i should share.
     
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