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santa's a stupid fat fuck who's not getting any play from mrs. claus

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Santa Claus, Apr 10, 2002.

  1. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 23, 2000 Messages: 1,496 Likes Received: 0
    so, because aserine is having his little "i'm perfectly healthy but need to lose weight so my size 32 pants won't be kind of tight" party in the other thread, i thought i'd start a thread around the fact that i'm rediculously overweight and i need to lose weight so i dont have a heart attack when i'm 19. so this is for all the REAL fatties.

    basically, heres my plan:
    20-30minute jog everyday w/ light lifting to tone.
    replace ALL soda w/ water.
    no more jack in the crack.
    no more naps( :( )
    breakfast: slimfast and water
    lunch: fruit, turkey sandwhich w/ LOTS of veggies, and water
    dinner: whatever mommy makes, but smaller portions, and wate
    snacks: health bars?? fruit?? and water...

    i did this 2 years ago and lost like, 30-40 pounds in under 4 months. it was insane. and i really need to stop being a fatass. its not very fun.

    lets see how long this lasts, my bet is....a week.

  2. bug

    bug Guest

  3. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 23, 2000 Messages: 1,496 Likes Received: 0
    it makes me wonder how you came up w/ that picture so fast
  4. ASER1NE

    ASER1NE Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 15, 2001 Messages: 7,578 Likes Received: 3
    i think you are going a little bit overboard . but my size 32 pants fit well thanx . anyhow , you can still eat what you were , just cut out all the crap , soda especially and junk that has no nutritional value other than to feed your craving . that doesnt mean cut your portions and what not . just make sure you burn off more calories than you consume , and youll lose the weight gradually , which will ensure you keep it off .

    cutting just 250 calories in a day and burning of 250 calories can help you lose as much as 5 pounds per week . 250 calories is just 1 soda , 1 fast food order , 1 doughnut etc . and 30 min of walkin , 15-20 of jogging , 20 of cylcling , or 30 of playing bball . its not difficult it just takes tim,e and effort.
  5. vinyl junkie

    vinyl junkie Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 17, 2002 Messages: 4,725 Likes Received: 0
    replace ALL soda w/crack.
    no more water.
    i have a special glass "weight loss inhaler" that could really help you out with this...
  6. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 23, 2000 Messages: 1,496 Likes Received: 0
    Re: Re: santa's a stupid fat fuck who's not getting any play from mrs. claus


    anyway, thanks for the tips aserine.
    it wont be hard at all to cut WAYYYYY more than 250 calories from my diet. my eating habits are pretty shitty.
  7. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 11,276 Likes Received: 71
    very very good point. ;)
  8. railroadjerk

    railroadjerk Guest

    seriously dude you can eat whatever you want just follow my diet plan:

    lunch: a sandwhich or something hot but a small portion, a salad w/fat free dressing and a roll or some shit.
    water and skim milk ONLY to drink
    dinner: regular meal, just dont pig out, a salad and water and skim milk.

    dont snack, ive given up chocolate and pop. im down to 150, ive lost 20 pounds in like, 7 months and that sounds slow but i really didnt need to lose a lot of poundage.

    excersise too, i bike around 6-7 miles sometimes more a day and walk everywhere instead of driving, if you dont want to bike....easy peasy.
  9. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

  10. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    Just out of curiosity how much do you weigh? I want to lose weight and I always seem to fail miserably. I have no motivation to stick with it. But yours sounds like something I could stick with, and you said it seems to work. I'm going to try it. Wish me luck, and good luck to you, homes:D
  11. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30

    REGULATOR Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 6, 2001 Messages: 3,383 Likes Received: 0
    hahahaha you fatass

    how can i put on like 20-30 pounds so i can fit into my size 34 pants??
  13. pukey1

    pukey1 Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 10, 2001 Messages: 2,996 Likes Received: 0
    im trying to GAIN weight. :D :crazy:
  14. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3
    If you all follow that diet plan you will loose weight, make sure you excercie 20 min a day too.
    And at the main meal, eat healthy, not a bunch of meat. Acutally totally cut red meat out of your diet, that ways you will be getting your protein from fish chicken, etc, but less fat, and you will not be killing the sacred cow. Eat balanced shit.

    I did a log of the food i ate for 4 days, its really informative. Your supposed to be getting around 60% of all calories from carbs, 20% from protein, 20% from fat. 1g of fat has 9 calories, where as 1g of protein and carbs only have 4 calories each.

    I figured out my diet is like 30% fat, 60% carbs and 10% protein, which means i need more protein and less fat. but im real skinny, 140 pounds and 5' 11''
  15. bodice_ripper

    bodice_ripper Elite Member

    Joined: May 10, 2000 Messages: 3,195 Likes Received: 25
    I lost six stone in just over 5 months a couple of years ago. how did I do this - going to a gym and working as an usher in a cinema