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sad days...


tow up from tha flow up !

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venting........

 

me and my boyfriend broke up today.

he's christian, and this hereby concludes my hypothesis that most christians are very close minded, brainwashed, hypocrytical people.

 

i tried to break it off with him the first week we started dating because i realized we were just two very different people... but then i thought about all the fun we'd been having and how much i liked him and told him i wanted to stay together. i figured we could take it one day at a time, and as long as we would both be understanding of eachother's belief's there would be no problem.

 

well basicly it came down to us arguing about everything. Mainly because I accept almost everything in my surroundings. People, places, conversations, etc. He can't stand that I am perfectly okay with my city, community, life. He couldn't stand the fact that I don't have any regrets, only learning expieriences. he was always looking down on people, me included, for not living a "pure" christian lifestyle. we've been in fight after fight after fight since the begining.

 

well tonight we were driving up to a freewall to see some new pieces and we saw some prostitutes. he was about to call the cops on his cell phone to tell them the license plate of some guy who was picking one up. i told him he should just mind his own buisness and let people do what they want to do. he asked me if i was okay with prostitution. I told him I thought it should be legalized, so that women aren't getting beat up and brutally raped, and to make sure the women are using protection and not spreading STD's. He basicly told me I had no morals, I didn't care about anything in the world, I had no integrity to stand up to anything wrong, and I just liked to rebel for the sake of rebelling. i told him i couldn't be with, or be friends with, someone who didn't understand or respect me in the slightest bit.

 

Now I'm home. Kindof pissed at the situation, kindof hurt. Even though I know I have personal morals.. he's right I really don't care about what's wrong in the world. I care about what's wrong with my friends, my family, my work, people who are close to me...but as far as making the world a 'better' place, i have no desire. In all actuality I have at least 3 friends, that I know of, who have fucked for drugs. I served food to homeless people for 3 years, where I made friends with a lot of 'junkies, prostitutes, outcasted gay people'... and even though their lifestyle isn't one I'd choose to live. I've always believed that just listening to a person and setting an example on how you live your life is the way to be. Not getting people arrested, thrown out, telling them how wrong they are, etc.

 

 

I'm just really sad because the person I was falling in love with see's me as someone who doesn't care about anything, and is completely oblivious to the ways of the world.

 

I guess I'm just not used to people who know me insult my judgement or personality. I can't figure out if maybe I really act that way; if he's just trying to knock me down in a way to justify his own feelings/actions; or if we were just two people who really clashed.

 

 

i don't know. it's too late to call anyone and i'm bummin pretty hard. someone should instant message me, it would really help take my mind off of this. but if you're a preachy christian, don't bother.

 

AIM: popsicleorange

 

3:00 am (saturday morning/friday night)

 

 

------------------

PRUDE - If I had nuts, you'd be on 'em.

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wow....that sounds like a simalar situation i was in a few years back....the sad thing is 90% of the time theres no discussion with those people....its hard on you now im sure but really, do you want to even associate yourself with someone like that? cristianity is fine (my girlfriends a chistian) but a brainwashed cristian who refuses to analyze any situations around them and instead refers all problems they encounter to a set of guidlines written in a book....which was written by man and translated numerous times!?!? i feel very very sorry for those people.....

i got off on a rant

sorry about your break up but im sure it was for the better....

 

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brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...

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well, i could say alot, but the best advice cannot really help you out. Getting thru shitty times, unfortunately, is done on your own.

 

and, im not in love or what not, but here's some lovey dovey lyrics, they really cheer me up and give me a boost of optimism.

you should get the song as well. (incubus)

 

Echo

 

 

There’s something about the look in your eyes

Something I noticed when the light was just right

It reminded me twice that I was alive

And it reminded me that you’re so worth the fight

 

My biggest fear will be the rescue of me

Strange how it turns out that way, yeah

Could you show me dear?

Something I’m not seeing

Something infinitely interesting

Could you show me dear?

Something I’m not seeing

Something infinitely interesting

 

There’s something about the way you move

I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing

Like suddenly something someone contrives

Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing

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I'm a pretty bitter person when it comes down to all that lovey dovey stuff... I'm very cynical. I'm sure you'll be okay.

 

I believe that church is a money machine. Faith is something that you have deep in your heart, and the church TRIES to convince you that you gotta GO to church in order to show your loyalty to God. I think that's total bullshit. The priest just wants money in that basket every Sunday morning. I think Jesus said "If you tear this church down, I'll build another one in 3 days?" In other words, you don't need to go to church in order to have Jesus in your heart....

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Originally posted by Secret:

I'm a pretty bitter person when it comes down to all that lovey dovey stuff... I'm very cynical. I'm sure you'll be okay.

 

I believe that church is a money machine. Faith is something that you have deep in your heart, and the church TRIES to convince you that you gotta GO to church in order to show your loyalty to God. I think that's total bullshit. The priest just wants money in that basket every Sunday morning. I think Jesus said "If you tear this church down, I'll build another one in 3 days?" In other words, you don't need to go to church in order to have Jesus in your heart....

 

 

well that shows how much you know... no offense of course...

 

i'm a christian.. i'm just not a devoted hardcore one, i barely go to church, i have my faith and shit - buuuuuut, going to church is a catholic ritual thats been going on for longer then your theory that the priest just wants to get paid

 

of course theres always some like that, but that goes without saying because theres always people like that, no matter religionraceagegenderwhat-have-you ...

 

going to church is supposed to clean your soul secret - i'm not trying to preach.. just trying to open your closed mind a little..

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dam girl i am talking to you about this no and adding my own twists and shit, but i think it has to do with a level of humility, christ would have turned his cheek. he would have looked the other way, his disciples matterd, his disciples were the future of his preaching, not a slut with the hiv.

i dunno. talk to me prude you know my deal. and the aim name.

sh.

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Clip of lyrics from "The Grouch"....

 

....Preachers between young thighs

Guns knives power in the wrong hands

land lords crooked cops and those damn whores

lookin at the shit we stand for

planned for a perfect life

ended up gettin jerked and strife

nobody understands me when I speak about my music

I doubt it doubt it

never the less I struggle on

tryin to get my hustle on

tryin to find a little light for me to magnify.....

 

 

What this means....Tow up, that guy was obviously not the right one for you...I'm young but I have learned that people can fall in love with anyone, given the opportunity, and for the wrong reasons alot of times. Keep your chin up and do your thang...I hope this helps.

 

--Derti habeT

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thanks everybody for the words and the IMs last night, it did help me take my mind off the drama.

 

 

secret, i definately agree with what you said. and i refuse to believe that a man on deathrow who just murdered 30 people and raped 10 children who accepts jesus christ as his savior in his heart, will go to heaven. whereas a buddhist monk who has spend his whole life sheading worldy ways and taking his mind, body, and soul to a higher level, who does not accept jesus christ as his gate to heaven, will go to hell.

 

boogie, you are dead on. i've met some awesome christians. who do believe that they just want to live their life the best they can. but then others, they tend to be miserable people to begin with, can't rationalize anything, can't accept anything for the way it is, then they tell you that you are close minded because you won't accept jesus christ into your heart. it's just a really difficult battle when you are falling in love with the person and trying to see their side of the story... but their side means everything you've learned through your own expierience is worthless because it's not just blind faith that "he is the one".

 

 

smart, thanks for the words budday. it is another day, and i do feel a lot better. he did write me an email this morning appologizing for saying i have no morals and all that. i've still decided to break up with him though, like i was telling hesh, because it's not worth it to me. Love should be two people on the same side, whatever comes your way, it can be dealt with because you have a partner. it shouldn't be two people constantly against eachother.

 

george dubyah, i appreciatie the incubus lyrics http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//wink.gif'>

 

 

boxcar, i'm still thinking about what a deep seaa diver would do if he had an itch on his face while on a diving mission in that big glass bubble. ugh!

 

thanks again, all of u.

 

------------------

PRUDE - If I had nuts, you'd be on 'em.

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Originally posted by Secret:

I'm a pretty bitter person when it comes down to all that lovey dovey stuff... I'm very cynical. I'm sure you'll be okay.

 

I believe that church is a money machine. Faith is something that you have deep in your heart, and the church TRIES to convince you that you gotta GO to church in order to show your loyalty to God. I think that's total bullshit. The priest just wants money in that basket every Sunday morning. I think Jesus said "If you tear this church down, I'll build another one in 3 days?" In other words, you don't need to go to church in order to have Jesus in your heart....

 

Wordemup Secret. I entirely agree with what you are saying. It seems like the church is turning into a corporation. And it's funny beacuase in the bible it says that money is not a thing of importance when the church practicacly tries to make you feel guilty for not forking it over. If they want some money then sell some of the gold they got at the vatican. I'm sure as hell not going to do anything with it!

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