Erofet Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate. 2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella. 3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers. 4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence. 5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent). 7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever. 8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale. 9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable. 10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay. 11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party. 12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it. 13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean. 14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem--you didn't see nothin'. 15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer. 16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat. 17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood. 19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free. 20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy. 23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!" "Another set and we can hit the showers." "Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"isch aber schne 24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean. 25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer. 26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response. 27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need. 28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RumPuncher Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 rules of 12oz. do not post email forwards unless they are really really damn funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KING OF HELL Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 although ive broken a few of those(own cats etc....), i was chuckling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dork Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 thems some goood rules... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suburbian bum Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 Fuck those bullshit rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLESHEATER Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 the standard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOOGLE? Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 http://ibm1.cicrp.jussieu.fr/guet/zoosm.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dork Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 great sign... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ArtvandaL Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 halariously halarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kr430n5_666 Posted February 19, 2003 Share Posted February 19, 2003 http://www.metal-reviews.com/images/bands/downside.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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