Krook Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 sumthing i stumbled upon and thought it wuz pretty funny ENJOY! 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. 3 Don't cut your hair. Ever: Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. 4. If it itches, it will be scratched. 5. If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear. 6. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. 7. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as naval lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. 8. Sundays equal sports. Period. 9. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 11. You have enough clothes. 12. You have too many shoes. 13. Crying is blackmail. 14. Your ex-boyfiend is an idiot. 15. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! 16. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check. 17. We're not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress. 19. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for 21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 23. Check your oil. 24. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. 25. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take any quiz together. 26. It doesn't matter which quiz. 27. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. 28. If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 29. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 30. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. 31. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. 32. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 33. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. 34. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at. 35. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. 36. Men see in a limited number of colors, like windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color. 37. Ditto melon. 38. If we ask what's wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepAnDream Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 too many rules... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 I read all those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dr. Drew Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 3. Don't cut your hair. Ever: Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. Short hair on the right girl is far more sexy than plain-jane long hair 7. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as naval lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. No. Having deep conversations with girls is one of the best things in life. 10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. No, I want my girl looking hot so other dudes can drool over her. It boosts my shallow ego 21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. no. if your girl tells you she has a headache every time, you're just bad in bed. 22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. ...If you're a redneck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest willy.wonka Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 be a man..not some sappy chump that needs to be bitchslapped. kinda like if your friend is getting his ass kicked and you dont do anything about it, cause he deserves it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fr8lover Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 that was a really shitty list no doubt compiled by a really shitty human being. if you need that many rules for a girl to abide by, something is wrong with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest willy.wonka Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Originally posted by willy.wonka be a man..not some sappy chump that needs to be bitchslapped. kinda like if your friend is getting his ass kicked and you dont do anything about it, cause he deserves it. oh, i didnt read the whole title.. i guess for the girls.. dont play games.dont think youre in love with him until after you have sex with him and leave him with no clue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alure Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 hah.. some of those were funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty_habiT Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Girls: Shut the fuck up when I'm spitting game at you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Born Loser Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 dont speak unless spoken to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krook Posted March 25, 2003 Author Share Posted March 25, 2003 i found it on a website and wunted to hear wut u thought i didn't make it or nething i juss thought it would give us sumpin different to reply to/ talk about;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metallix Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Re: Re: Rules Guys Wish Girls Lived By Originally posted by Dr. Drew 7. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as naval lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. No. Having deep conversations with girls is one of the best things in life. [/b] i call deep conversations, mind sex. its great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Facet Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 oh lord. the girl this guy is describing is a dumb stereotypical idiotic bitch, and the guy who wrote this is a dumb stereotypical idiotic dude. ahahahahahahahaha but i still laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atrocks Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 no use inmaking rules for girls to follow......chances are...they re gonna brake em anyway......and what are u gonna do?.......nothing but hope she she wont do it again.....and then whats she gonna do?....shes gonna do it again......hahahahaha.....aaah man.....who wishes they had a robot for a girlfriend anyway?...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krook Posted March 25, 2003 Author Share Posted March 25, 2003 there's a bunch of stupid ass shit like that on the web-site i'll see if i can find ne more "worth-while" ones and i'll be back to post em on here:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D3N53one Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 e-mail type info Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SIVIK Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Dr drew is a stud thats all i got 2 say. Long hair over short,getting ur girl 2 flick it when ur fuking her doggystyle is off the hook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaperbackWriter Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 shameless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_Europe Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Some were fun, some were stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RumPuncher Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for thell that to my roomate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zen Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Most of those are true at one point or another during a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny Posted March 25, 2003 Share Posted March 25, 2003 Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melburnian Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 My rulez bitch. 1. Alwayz cook my dinner, do tha washing and dishes coz i wont do em ever. 2. Alwayz be ready fuck tha rest of tha rules were aight some were funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melburnian Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 Re: Re: Rules Guys Wish Girls Lived By Originally posted by Dr. Drew 3. Don't cut your hair. Ever: Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. Short hair on the right girl is far more sexy than plain-jane long hair 7. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as naval lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. No. Having deep conversations with girls is one of the best things in life. Ur a fucken bitch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Of Hell Posted March 26, 2003 Share Posted March 26, 2003 THE BREAKDOWN. Originally posted by Krook lets see if i cant break this down a bit..... 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. whatever. girls with some shape are hot to trot. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. absolutely. 3 Don't cut your hair. Ever: Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. i am so all about short hair. i dont know what this guy is talking about. 4. If it itches, it will be scratched. absolutely. 5. If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you didn't want to hear. once again right on the money. 6. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. yes. but this also goes the other way guys. 7. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as naval lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. i really never think of any of those three things. 8. Sundays equal sports. Period. wrong. 9. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. wrong again. but thats just me. im a different breed of cat. 10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. yeah. i like it when you get gussied up too, but not to go to the fucking food store. 11. You have enough clothes. yeah. 12. You have too many shoes. well...i like shoes so whatever. 13. Crying is blackmail. actually i would say crying is when she is upset and maybe you should have funking listened. unless she is a catty bitch, in which case its perfectly reasonable to leave the area of said woman and go watch tv. 14. Your ex-boyfiend is an idiot. and when you are the ex will you be an idiot? 15. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it! if you dont know what she likes, you arent paying attention. and you wonder why you arent getting any?.... 16. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar you know we check. im absent minded sometimes. sorry. 17. We're not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. refer to the 17 18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress. with me and my shoe fetish i think id be pretty damn good at it, but females never agree with my opinion. 19. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. also "i dont know" is acceptable. 20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for thats just fucking stupid. 21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. refer to 15. 22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. sometimes they suck. but its not like american cinema is batting a hundred. dude . Glitter. Showgirls. Beaches. Yentil. come on.......Biker Boys?..dude... 23. Check your oil. YES! 24. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. in complete agreance. and while we are on the fucking subject, since we are not miond readers, a little direction would be nice. every body is different. so help me make yours fell right and i will do it all the goddamn time. if you just fake it or lay there im going to think you dont care. 25. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take any quiz together. whatever. its like mad libs. have fun. 26. It doesn't matter which quiz. MADLIBS! 27. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. holding shit over peoples heads is fucking childish anyway. 28. If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. i dont want her to dress like that. i want her to wear my boxers and a t-shirt. thats hot. 29. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. or you could just ask us what we meant, and take it based on that. sometimes we are dumb. 30. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. yeah. that sucks. 31. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. whatever. lame. 32. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. i actually have a real bad habit of tuning people out if im watching something i like. so if its important just hit me. its just fucking tv. 33. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. i have a map. im not afraid to use it. 34. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at. you do however have the right to ask him to wipe the drool from his chin. 35. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. why does it always have to be like that?...fucking have fun. youve been married for ten years?.. great ask her on a date. she'd love it. or suprise him with something he'd like once in a while. fuck off. people are so goddamned lazy. 36. Men see in a limited number of colors, like windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color. 37. Ditto melon. being a graffiti writer, i can not in good conscience agree with the last two.... 38. If we ask what's wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle. well if theres something wrong, tell me. dont leave me to keep doing it, and then freak out about six months later. just fucking tell me. i might get upset, but ill get over it, and we can get on. if you dont tell me then dont get upset when i keep doing it. hows that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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