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Rules Guys Wish Girls Lived By

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Krook, Mar 24, 2003.

  1. Krook

    Krook Banned

    Joined: Oct 26, 2002 Messages: 1,922 Likes Received: 0
    sumthing i stumbled upon and thought it wuz pretty funny

    ENJOY!

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
    2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
    3 Don't cut your hair. Ever: Long hair is always more attractive
    than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
    4. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    5. If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect
    an answer you didn't want to hear.
    6. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
    7. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as naval lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
    8. Sundays equal sports. Period.
    9. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
    10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
    11. You have enough clothes.
    12. You have too many shoes.
    13. Crying is blackmail.
    14. Your ex-boyfiend is an idiot.
    15. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints
    don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
    16. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark
    anniversaries on a calendar you know we check.
    17. We're not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
    18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair - out of 30 - would look good with your dress.
    19. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
    question.
    20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
    21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
    23. Check your oil.
    24. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
    25. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take any quiz together.
    26. It doesn't matter which quiz.
    27. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
    28. If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    29. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    30. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
    31. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both.
    32. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    33. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
    34. If you wear a Wonderbra and a low-cut blouse, you lose the right to complain about having your boobs stared at.
    35. Our relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
    36. Men see in a limited number of colors, like windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
    37. Ditto melon.
    38. If we ask what's wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
     
  2. SleepAnDream

    SleepAnDream Elite Member

    Joined: Mar 2, 2002 Messages: 3,078 Likes Received: 0
  3. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,058 Likes Received: 48
  4. Dr. Drew

    Dr. Drew Guest

    3. Don't cut your hair. Ever: Long hair is always more attractive
    than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

    Short hair on the right girl is far more sexy than plain-jane long hair

    7. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as naval lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
    No. Having deep conversations with girls is one of the best things in life.

    10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
    No, I want my girl looking hot so other dudes can drool over her. It boosts my shallow ego

    21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    no. if your girl tells you she has a headache every time, you're just bad in bed.

    22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
    ...If you're a redneck
     
  5. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    be a man..not some sappy chump that needs to be bitchslapped.


    kinda like if your friend is getting his ass kicked and you dont do anything about it, cause he deserves it.
     
  6. fr8lover

    fr8lover Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2000 Messages: 3,919 Likes Received: 1
    that was a really shitty list no doubt compiled by a really shitty human being.

    if you need that many rules for a girl to abide by, something is wrong with you.
     
  7. willy.wonka

    willy.wonka Guest

    oh, i didnt read the whole title..

    i guess for the girls..


    dont play games.dont think youre in love with him until after you have sex with him and leave him with no clue.
     
  8. alure

    alure Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Oct 18, 2002 Messages: 4,700 Likes Received: 17
    hah.. some of those were funny
     
  9. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,058 Likes Received: 48
    Girls: Shut the fuck up when I'm spitting game at you.
     
  10. Born Loser

    Born Loser New Jack

    Joined: Sep 14, 2001 Messages: 63 Likes Received: 0
    dont speak unless spoken to.
     
  11. Krook

    Krook Banned

    Joined: Oct 26, 2002 Messages: 1,922 Likes Received: 0
    i found it on a website and wunted to hear wut u thought i didn't make it or nething i juss thought it would give us sumpin different to reply to/ talk about;)
     
  12. metallix

    metallix Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 7, 2001 Messages: 2,955 Likes Received: 1
    Re: Re: Rules Guys Wish Girls Lived By

    i call deep conversations, mind sex. its great.
     
  13. Facet

    Facet Junior Member

    Joined: Sep 8, 2002 Messages: 165 Likes Received: 0
    oh lord.

    the girl this guy is describing is a dumb stereotypical idiotic bitch, and the guy who wrote this is a dumb stereotypical idiotic dude.

    ahahahahahahahaha but i still laughed.
     
  14. atrocks

    atrocks New Jack

    Joined: Nov 25, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
    no use inmaking rules for girls to follow......chances are...they re gonna brake em anyway......and what are u gonna do?.......nothing but hope she she wont do it again.....and then whats she gonna do?....shes gonna do it again......hahahahaha.....aaah man.....who wishes they had a robot for a girlfriend anyway?......
     
  15. Krook

    Krook Banned

    Joined: Oct 26, 2002 Messages: 1,922 Likes Received: 0
    there's a bunch of stupid ass shit like that on the web-site i'll see if i can find ne more "worth-while" ones and i'll be back to post em on here:D
     
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