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Road rage remedy

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Krakatau, Dec 23, 2005.

  1. Krakatau

    Krakatau Member

    Joined: May 5, 2005 Messages: 549 Likes Received: 0
    Christmas makes roads suck, regardless of where you are. Road rage is common, and something you have to deal with. Here is a good way I found to deal with the fuckers: just hit them with your vehicle.

    I guess some guy felt like I cut him off, so he jumped in front and cut me off reaaaallly hard, then bottlenecked until there was about a quarter mile between him and the car ahead of him, and we were doing about 45 down a busy highway. I try to pass and he speeds up to trap me in. Shit goes on for about four or five miles until I have had my fill and just decide 'Fuck it. Your ride is nicer than mine anyway.' and proceed to give him a nice little 'fuck you' dent to compliment his bumper full of hunting liscense stickers as we go down the road. He was trying to cut me off in the next lane over again, anyway.

    Long story short, he shit himself and got all flustered not sure of how to handle it and the rest of my drive went smoothly.

    Works well, and is more practical than playing 'angry mime' through windows at each other.

    Any other recommendations? D-Cell batteries, maybe?
     
  2. SPORTO

    SPORTO Senior Member

    Joined: Jan 6, 2005 Messages: 1,086 Likes Received: 10
    TRUE,

    I squsee
     
  3. BURLAP

    BURLAP Member

    Joined: Jul 29, 2004 Messages: 307 Likes Received: 0
    this last year i drove a ton on highways.
    call me a puss, but anytime anybody fucked with me like that the first thing i did
    was take the next turn off and have a chill. then get back on
    the road and the rest was smooth. not worth my time and it takes
    a couple of minutes off your eta without things escalating.
     
  4. Krakatau

    Krakatau Member

    Joined: May 5, 2005 Messages: 549 Likes Received: 0
    ^^Probably a good call. I try not to act out of anger normally, but back to back days of sobriety in hopes of passing a UA kinda has me on edge.
     
  5. BURLAP

    BURLAP Member

    Joined: Jul 29, 2004 Messages: 307 Likes Received: 0
    hahaha, no shit you're on edge. that could have ended up pretty nasty man..
     
  6. WhiteOx

    WhiteOx Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 4, 2003 Messages: 3,691 Likes Received: 0
    thats pretty psycho. props
     
  7. methadone program

    methadone program Member

    Joined: Jun 15, 2005 Messages: 413 Likes Received: 0

    oh those days...best of luck mang.
     
  8. duh-rye-won

    duh-rye-won Member

    Joined: Aug 8, 2001 Messages: 580 Likes Received: 2
    i get pedestrian rage.

    every fucking day. i think it's because im a little stressed out at work, busy season and all.

    but literally every day. i just fucking want to yell at people on the street.

    "CAN YOU PLEASE TRY TO WALK IN A STRAIGHT FUCKING LINE, ASSHOLE!"

    or

    "CAN YOU NOT WRITE FUCKING TEXT MESSAGES IN YOUR MOBILE PHONE WHILE WALKING DOWN THE STREET, OBLIVIOUS TO THE 400 MOTHERFUCKERS TRYING TO WALK AROUND YOU ON THE SIDEWALK!"

    or

    "DO YOU REALLY NEED TO STAND IN LINE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME THAT YOUR BREIFCASE BANGS INTO THE BACK OF MY LEGS REPEATEDLY AND I CAN FUCKING SMELL YOU MOTHERFUCKER?"

    or

    "LET ME OFF THE FUCKING TRAIN BEFORE YOU TRY TO GET ON YOU FUCKING SEAT HUNGRY CHINK!"

    or

    "GOOD IDEA, COCKFACE. HOLD YOUR GIRLFRIENDS HAND WHILE WALKING SLOWER THAN MY FUCKING GRANDMA THROUGH A MOB OF PEOPLE. BUT MAKE SURE YOU STAND FAR APART SO YOU MAXIMIZE THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THAT CAN'T WALK PAST YOU. THAT'S IT! GOOD JOB! FUCK YOU!"

    and my favorite.

    "OH GOOD JOB. DON'T ONLY STARE AT ME, LOOK ME DEAD IN THE EYES WHILE YOU NUDGE YOUR FRIEND SO HE CAN STARE AT ME TOO. YES, IT'S A TATTOO, FUCKFACE. YES, IT'S A BEARD, DIPSHIT. NON ASIAN PEOPLE HAVE THEM. YOU'VE SEEN US ON TV, RIGHT?"

    /end rantola
     
  9. mackfatsoe

    mackfatsoe Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 6,532 Likes Received: 168
     
  10. WhiteOx

    WhiteOx Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 4, 2003 Messages: 3,691 Likes Received: 0
    Yo iquit, do chinese people follow you into bathrooms to inspect your wang? or stroke your arm hair as you walk past?
     
  11. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

    Joined: Mar 7, 2001 Messages: 16,306 Likes Received: 104
    Puss.

    Naw, its a smart strategy. Especially for those of us who have anger management problems. :burn:
     
  12. John Birch

    John Birch Member

    Joined: Apr 14, 2004 Messages: 747 Likes Received: 0
    I started taking the anti-deppressant Celexa. It totally helped my road rage issues, but utterly killed my sex drive, personal ambition and socialbility. Now I sleep 16 hours a day, but am very mellow when I go out driving...
     
  13. dead sentiment

    dead sentiment Member

    Joined: Nov 29, 2004 Messages: 422 Likes Received: 0
    i've always wanted to hit other cars or things just for the fun of it, but havent totally lost all grasp of my socially conformed "sanity."
     
  14. fuck muni

    fuck muni Senior Member

    Joined: Nov 26, 2003 Messages: 1,089 Likes Received: 3
    i have a fast car, so i just skert off and shit on any motherfucker who tries to pull something
     
  15. Sparoism

    Sparoism Guest

    I don't have a license, but I consider myself an aficianado of road rage via working as a messenger.

    I am not one of those assholes who thinks of himself as a "desperate, tattooed urban nomad who races the clock to get there in record time"...fuck all that. I leave that shit to the rookies. The idea is NOT to get killed, and the easiest way to do that is to simply follow the rules of the road while riding in a predictable fashion. It doesn't seem to slow me down, since I'm usually traveling faster than the cars around me...I don't care about my street cred or how important anyone thinks their delivery is. On more than one occasion, I've had to tell them that the best messenger is the one that gets their package there in one piece five minutes late. Badasses with something to prove don't seem to last long due to the fact that hospital visits, jail time, and repeated altercations with peds are not considered good business practice by most companies.

    However, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I am nice, and I realize a lot of people come to the city from the suburbs, as I do. Unlike me, they aren't used to navigating heavily congested urban areas, and therefore will make serious errors in traffic sometimes. Most of these folks will apologize if you tell them what they did wrong, and to be more careful, etc.

    The ones that get me are the ones who actually live in the city, and seem to think that they have a right to drive like shit because "I know these streets, man. I'm FROM here."

    Big whoop-de-fucking-doo. Do you want an ice cream cone with your medal? Oh, I'm all out, so sorry....gosh, did you have to get off the phone and actually PAY ATTENTION when I started beating on the roof of your Benz? Can you hear me now? I know you didn't see me, that was well established when you did that four-lane sweep fifty feet from the intersection to make the right turn to get the parking space I'm now standing in. Oh, you don't talk to common folk such as myself? Well, that's fine...I'd just like a moment alone, anyway. That way, you won't see me cut the valves off of your tires...I heard the S-class series can go miles on a flat. Let's see how it does on FOUR flats.

    I used to deal with this every single day about five years ago, but since the "New Economy" wasn't Bush-proof, I find people are a lot less arrogant nowadays, especially when it comes to their $80,000 car.

    The other day, I got cut off by someone trying to merge into the left lane. I had been in front of them for a block or two, so they had seen me. Plus, they honked AFTER the fact...apparently, i did something wrong by taking the lane, so I decided to find out what I could do to please them.

    I pulled up to the driver's side to see that the car was being driven by a woman who was, ummmmm...."morbidly obese." Let's put it this way- the bench seat in her car was not an option, but a neccessity.

    So, I tried to help her out by saying, "You know, you could have fit in that lane if you lost some weight." I have never seen someone have a stroke, but I'll bet it looks a lot like the look she gave me....

    "WHAAAAAAAAT???FUCKYOUYOUSTUPIDPIECEOFSHITI'LL..."

    All in a day's work.
     
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