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read this stupid crap

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by professor poopatronic, Jun 18, 2002.

  1. I was at a party tonight. for the most part i was really just performing my usual routine, keeping my hand occupied with a cup and standing in solitude, pondering. i decided it was about time for me to vacate my current dark corner so i went outside so see what exactly was "crackin'"(as i would be very likely to say). it's always a pleasure to walk wander nervously into a new and unfamiliar area and immediately see a smorgasboard of familiar faces. maximus immediately shot me a quick, somewhat urgent looking glance as if to say "we need to talk" (to put it in such childishly simple terms)(a thing which maximus has certainly not been known to do, however i currently lack the literary prowess to truly capture the true true lanuage of his many "glances"). Maximus didn't keep me waiting. In considerably less time than it took me to write down that idiotic parenthetical ADD rant that you just had to sit through, he was by my side in an entirely new dark corner explaining our latest ordeal:
    " shit blood, i knew your playeristic ways would catch up to you eventually! see that girl over there in the blue shirt? well you've been talking to her sister and she's not too thrilled about it from what i gather!"
    "what the fuck are you talking about? i don't talk to girls", i wondered. "which one, the light blue shirt or the sorta-light blue shirt?"
    "i don't bother remembering such things."
    well shit, i probably don't have anything better to do, might as well go see what all the commotion's about.
    "hey i heard i talked to somebody's sister. shit nevermind i sound like a fucking retard. i'm just gonna sit down here and be quiet for a little bit until i can function again.
    i heard alot of things but i didn't really listen. i'm afraid that's my biggest problem. i sincerely want to be interested in other people but most of the time i just can't face up to it. or maybe i'm afraid. either way it's not a particularly fun way to be. it makes you insecure, but at the same time interested in nobody's mind but your own. if you think about it, that's a frighteningly clear path to self-destruction. i love everybody, i really do. i just wish i could find an acceptable way to tell them so. sane people are able to do it gradually, by treating others a certain way. i used to have that skill, but somehow it has escaped me and i really hope i can find out why. i've come up with plenty of potential excuses, but that's all they are, excuses. one of them is probably pretty accurate, but how on earth am i supposed to know which. sorry to get even firther off the subject, but i actually kind of reminds me of religion. i mean sure. all these pretty writings sound fine and dandy to me (what can i say, i'm very easily influenced at age 17), but really, with all these choices how the hell am i supposed to know which one to choose? i've had devout christians tell me that at a certain point in their life they were layin gin bed and felt the power of jesus floor them like a rolling stone, but for one reason or another i've never had that feeling (i've felt like i was being overpowered by some sort of rolling stone of life before, but i didn't really get any specific message from it). what does that mean? am i doomed? maybe i'm still waiting to be enlightened by some sort of God, but what if i die on my way home? do i deserve to be ignorant for some reason? i presume it's more likely is that we all deserve to be ignorant, and those who pretend not to be are just fooling themselves.
    jesus fucking christ. my deepest apologies go out to anybody who actually read that lump of crap. but guess what, here we go again. i've coined the term (or phrase, or whatever the hell it is) "jesus fucking christ" recently in order to express my general feeling toward life in general. now i know i just said that i love everybody, and i do, but that's onlt because i understand them and accept that the only way for them to be is exactly the way they are. and before you go calling me self-righteous, i'll have you know that i feel exactly the same way about myself. i am just another pathetic being that will deservingly die in less time than i would hope. anywho, "jesus fucking christ" for me basically expresses a general feeling of awe towards the monumental problems that i have with myself.
    "are you dave palma?"
    "yeah you've been trying to flirt with my sister at school. she has a boyfriend."
    this is why i am the way i am. i try not to blame anybody but myself, and rightfully so because "this" at the moment is really just my pathetic excuse for dialogue. so according to the first and second sentences of this paragraph, we've narrowed the root of my problem down to two things: the apparent lack of interesting conversation offered to me by others, or my inept interpretation of said conversation, later converted into inept writing.

    to be continued...

    i told you it was stupid crap
  2. Remi Martin

    Remi Martin New Jack

    Joined: Jun 3, 2001 Messages: 96 Likes Received: 0
    i like what you got to say...

    but break that in to paragraphs dunny...other wise it gives me a headache trynna read that one giant paragraph in computer text...
    flip dat edit shit and ill holla back..

    said very non literary.
  3. vinyl junkie

    vinyl junkie Elite Member

    Joined: Jan 17, 2002 Messages: 4,725 Likes Received: 0
  4. in case you can't tell, i'm falling over drunk. just wasting my time until i'm normal enough to go to sleep.
  5. Remi Martin

    Remi Martin New Jack

    Joined: Jun 3, 2001 Messages: 96 Likes Received: 0
    so what i got out of that is your 17 your drunk, and im glad i didnt hurt my head reading that pile of crap in your words...
  6. exactly. although i think i was actually "lump of crap". pile works pretty well too though. pick and choose, the world is yours.