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POOPING

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by stuntastic, Nov 5, 2004.

  1. stuntastic

    stuntastic New Jack

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 90 Likes Received: 0
    i personally enjoy, post poop, to get up and look at what im gonna be dealing with for the whipe.
     
  2. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    if its a big one I take a picture of it with my camera phone. I have a bookshelf in my bathroom if that tells you anything about what I do when I poop.
     
  3. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,107 Likes Received: 73
    bad idea..... real bad idea... 2nd.
     
  4. TuffKid

    TuffKid Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 14, 2002 Messages: 2,062 Likes Received: 0
    i have to wipe 12 times before i get up....
     
  5. trackstand

    trackstand Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 21, 2004 Messages: 2,262 Likes Received: 3
    I like to eat while im on the toilet.
     
  6. Im Broke

    Im Broke Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 11, 2003 Messages: 1,579 Likes Received: 0
    i read. and do homework, maby smoke a blunt...
     
  7. fermentor666

    fermentor666 Veteran Member

    Joined: Sep 27, 2003 Messages: 8,152 Likes Received: 15
    I prey for the sweet release of death.
     
  8. duh-rye-won

    duh-rye-won Member

    Joined: Aug 8, 2001 Messages: 580 Likes Received: 2
    do i have any special rituals when it's time to take a shit?

    well yes, as a matter of fact i do.

    private and public shitting rituals can differ greatly.

    for now, lets focus on the steps involved in dropping the kids off at the pool in a public location.

    STEP 1- step one basically involves surveillance and intelligence gathering. who else is shitting in this bathroom? does their shit stink so bad that it will disturb me and interfere with enjoying my own personal aroma? do i want to sit directly next to this dude and totally freak him out with the ferocity of my dump? chances are i do. especially living in asia, i generally feel the need to rep for americans, in that we do everything bigger and better than they do. i want that old chinese man to be in AWE of the atrocity that is my white american ass.

    STEP 2- flush first. after selecting my throne, i flush first. even if the water looks clean, how do you know someone didn't spit in it? maybe someone drank a lot of water and took one of those transparent pisses that can go completely undetectable and didn't flush. i don't want this nasty pisswater splashing up into my asshole when i drop the goosebombs.

    STEP 3- the third step is what i like to call, "building the goose nest". i remove ALL the toilet paper from the roll. all of it. yes, you heard me correctly, take the fucking TP roll off of the dispenser, and i take ALL of the TP off of the roll. i start layering my TP around the bowl, creating a nice fluffy nest to perch on. then i decide how much TP i'll need for asswiping and hold on to that. i leave a generous supply, as you never know what the hell is going to happen once we set the wheels of poo in motion.

    STEP 4- now i take the empty toilet paper roll and put my penis inside of it. sitting carefully on to the nest, i place my cardboard protected penis onto the edge of the bowl, making sure there is absolutely no penis to toilet contact. i get comfy. maybe light up a cigarette. take a deep breath...

    STEP 5- bombs away. hold nothing back. take no prisoners. make it loud. nothing wrong with a little grunting, tennis pro style, too.

    STEP 6- wipe.

    STEP 7- flush.

    STEP 8- wash hands. this is when i'm hoping my crapping neighbor will finish at the same time as me, so i can see the fear in his eyes after witnessing my ass in all of it's glory.

    STEP 9- try to get home for a shower asap. i usually need it.


    but this is all pretty standard stuff, right?
     
  9. trackstand

    trackstand Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 21, 2004 Messages: 2,262 Likes Received: 3
    :laugh1: :laugh1: :laugh1: Genius!
     
  10. Ravek

    Ravek New Jack

    Joined: Mar 5, 2004 Messages: 67 Likes Received: 0
    lol thats some funny shit
     
  11. Overtime

    Overtime Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 22, 2003 Messages: 13,986 Likes Received: 311
    iquit, you are amazing, that is an amazing poop you take, hahhaha, that still has me laughing....
     
  12. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    i always try to land the payload in places where it shouldn't be
     
  13. TURBOCAPSLOK

    TURBOCAPSLOK Elite Member

    Joined: Dec 4, 2003 Messages: 2,550 Likes Received: 1
  14. gatita

    gatita Senior Member

    Joined: Feb 24, 2004 Messages: 1,319 Likes Received: 1
    iquit I love you. Bare my children.
     
  15. Issac Brock

    Issac Brock Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 2, 2004 Messages: 3,664 Likes Received: 1
    thats what the dude did in american pie even though he had drank like a whole bottle of laxative, he still insisted on doing that.

    much love for your rituals though. I respect other cultures.
     
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