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Police sketches

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Poop Man Bob, Feb 14, 2006.

  1. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    Ever since I was young and my sister and I would watch Unsolved Mysteries (9 pm, Wednesday nights), police sketches have interested me. And freaked me out a little bit, at least then - although I suspect Robert Stack's voice had something to do with that. Regardless, the combination of the Unsolved Mysteries theme music and a composite sketch will likely make me pee my pants a little even to this day. I was convinced that right when the show went to commercial, someone vaguely resembling the police sketch would start banging on the windows right near the TV while screaming wildly, even if the fugitive was wanted for something stupid like forgery or drug smuggling.

    The sketches always end up looking like some strange humanoid-type thing. Take, for example, this:


    The placement of the facial features makes me think of a Mr. Potato Head Hitler with a blond wig. I found that sketch in a recent BBC news article, which, coincidentally, was about how the witness was unhappy with the police sketch, saying, "I don't think I've ever seen anyone who looks like that in Stalham or anywhere else in my life."

    When you do a Google Image search for "police sketch," you come across some real winners:






    It's nice to see they give 9-year olds a chance to work at the police station drawing pictures.



    Seriously. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night and having any of these last three standing next to your bed staring at you.
  2. fuse=--action

    fuse=--action Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 9, 2005 Messages: 1,855 Likes Received: 0
    Horay tax dollars.

  3. and people thought basquiat was quite the artist...
  4. ego maniac

    ego maniac Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 6, 2005 Messages: 2,786 Likes Received: 0
    hardy har
    to that last one....
    that... alien.... huge dome ..
    havin... boy somthin..

    scariest thing about unsolved
    mysteries to me was the
    intro music.....no.... no It
    was that mans voice....
    coulda been the stupidest non scary
    who gives a shit mystery...
    yett that dude had a way of
    makin it creepy as shit...
  5. fuse=--action

    fuse=--action Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 9, 2005 Messages: 1,855 Likes Received: 0
    I always like the updates that they put on the reruns.

    You know, so you don't worry about the killer/vandal/missing kid anymore.

    As if I ever did.

  6. I.C.Shadow

    I.C.Shadow Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 9, 2004 Messages: 1,190 Likes Received: 1
    Those sketches are hilarious :lol:
  7. Sparoism

    Sparoism Guest


    AKA Dirty Sanchez or Blondie Raccoon.

    He looks like he fell asleep at the beach wearing a diving mask.
  8. Poop Man Bob

    Poop Man Bob Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Nov 16, 2000 Messages: 10,259 Likes Received: 18
    And with SPF 15 lip balm.
  9. Sparoism

    Sparoism Guest

    Yeah, that too.

    Those programs they use distort the image and make everyone look like a Mongoloid.

    Criminals are getting away with all sorts of dastardly deeds because of this. There should be an inquiry, I say.
  10. Tyler Durden

    Tyler Durden Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 18, 2001 Messages: 5,263 Likes Received: 40

    This guy knows the score.
    And yeah, Unsolved Mysteries was terrifying.
  11. fuse=--action

    fuse=--action Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 9, 2005 Messages: 1,855 Likes Received: 0
    What's with this mustache-beard combo?

  12. cornpone

    cornpone Member

    Joined: Dec 5, 2003 Messages: 306 Likes Received: 9
    This guy looks wwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrddddddddd!!!!!!!
  13. SteveAustin

    SteveAustin Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 12, 2002 Messages: 7,042 Likes Received: 2

    oh man...I don't know if I should post this or not...eh...wtf...
    unknown fact about steveaustin #45836
    I once got paid to help the police to do a facial reconstruction of a murder victim in photoshop. The guy was beaten so badly he was completely unrecognizeable.
  14. FunTimePartyTeam

    FunTimePartyTeam Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 19, 2005 Messages: 2,029 Likes Received: 0
    Well Im glad someone else remembers how influential Robert Stack's voice was. He was great. I used to watch that show just for his voice. That and rescue 911 with Shatner.

  15. Weapon X

    Weapon X 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Sep 6, 2002 Messages: 14,905 Likes Received: 202
    Yeah, Robert Stack had the scariest voice ever. That show was so freaky when they went into that supernatural stuff.