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people are stupid

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Zack Morris, Aug 12, 2001.

  1. Zack Morris

    Zack Morris Veteran Member

    Joined: Jun 23, 2001 Messages: 9,728 Likes Received: 4
    this was enclosed in an email I got today:

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
    stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.



    1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
    (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

    2. On a bag of Fritos:"You could be winner! No purchase necessary.
    Details inside." (Evidently, the shoplifter special.)

    3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
    (And that would be how...?)

    4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
    (But it's *just* a suggestion.)

    5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
    "Do not turn upside down." (DOH! too late!)

    6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

    (As night follows the day...)

    7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
    (But wouldn't this save even more time?)

    8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
    machinery after taking this medication."
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
    could
    just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

    9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
    (One would hope.)

    10. On most brands of Christmas lights:"For indoor or outdoor use only."
    (As opposed to what?)

    11. On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use."
    (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

    12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."
    (NEWS FLASH)

    13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
    eat
    nuts."
    (Step 3: Fly Delta.)

    14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
    enable
    you to fly."
    (I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)

    15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands

    or
    genitals."
    (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? Good grief.)

    16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use on food."
    (Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's okay honey just grab the Palmolive!)

    17. On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: "If swallowed contact poison control."

    (Oh please. Have you ever heard about someone dying from swallowing a
    little
    toothpaste?)

    18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: "Remove clothing before
    distributing in washing machine."
    (Hey no more swimming in the washing machine kids.)
     
  2. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    thats funny stuff

    ------------------
    brick, brick ,brick...thats how i be up against your girlfriends ass...
     
  3. platapie

    platapie Guest

    humans are sucky
     
  4. curious george

    curious george Senior Member

    Joined: May 21, 2001 Messages: 1,359 Likes Received: 2
    that shit's fuckin great. post some more.
     
  5. TOY

    TOY New Jack

    Joined: May 16, 2001 Messages: 2 Likes Received: 0
    thats some funny shit but im having a hard time believing some ife those are true. some are just too obvious to need a warning or directions.

    13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
    14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    (I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)

    15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
    (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? Good grief.)
     
  6. *ZEMONEDOE$

    *ZEMONEDOE$ Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 4, 2001 Messages: 6,137 Likes Received: 0
    on can of rust.
    do not use for graffiti.
    aahahahaha
     
  7. Ammo

    Ammo Senior Member

    Joined: Apr 9, 2001 Messages: 1,146 Likes Received: 0
    on korean kitchen knife-
    keep out of children
     
  8. SHECKY SHENANIGANZ

    SHECKY SHENANIGANZ Junior Member

    Joined: Jun 14, 2001 Messages: 232 Likes Received: 0
  9. Fox Mulder

    Fox Mulder 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Nov 23, 2000 Messages: 12,434 Likes Received: 84
    on the one with the superman suit, eric claptons 4 year old son died from jumping out of a window with a superman suit.
     
  10. Klypse

    Klypse Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 7, 2001 Messages: 2,533 Likes Received: 0
    hahahaha gyahahah a a
     
  11. Kannum Playt

    Kannum Playt Junior Member

    Joined: Jul 13, 2001 Messages: 134 Likes Received: 0
    LOL LOL LOL Man I've seen a lot of dumb shit like that too. I like the Fritos one though. If I ever see that I'll take it without actually buying it and if I get arrested, I'll just file a lawsuit. CHACHING!

    ------------------
    I need a strong dose of caffeine and a dancing midget.
     
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