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Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by kodak, Sep 10, 2002.

  1. kodak

    kodak Member

    Joined: Feb 17, 2002 Messages: 491 Likes Received: 0
    For years, researchers have puzzled over the many "coincidences" that link martyred Presidents Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy: Both elected in a year ending 60, both assassinated with a gunshot to the head on a Friday; both succeeded by Southerners named Johnson, etc. And now, experts are beginning to take note of the same sorts of connections between President George W. Bush and radio shock jock Howard Stern!

    Below are some odd links between Bush and Stern:

    FACT: The names George W. Bush and Howard Stern both have exactly 11 letters.

    FACT: The word "bush" is slang for female private parts. Stern's autobiography was titled Private Parts.

    FACT: Both men have daughters, but no sons.

    FACT: Howard's sidekick is Robin Quivers. Robin is the name of Batman's sidekick. And the Boy Wonder's real name is Dick -- just like Bush's sidekick, Vice President Dick Cheney!

    FACT: Major turning points in their lives came at the same time. During the campaign last year, Bush told reporters he hadn't used illegal drugs "in the past 25 years." That makes his first drug-free year 1976 . . . the same year Stern graduated from college!

    FACT: Bush is the leader of the greatest nation on Earth, making him the equivalent of a king. Howard Stern's nickname is "The King of All Media."

    FACT: Stern created an alter ego named Fartman, whose superpowers come from passing gas. A chief cause of breaking wind is baked beans -- and one of the most popular brands of beans now on the market is, you guessed it, called Bush's.

    FACT: Bush generated considerable controversy when he said his favorite political philosopher was Jesus. Stern generated considerable controversy when he had the Jesus Twins on the air.

    FACT: Both have top aides named John. Bush has Attorney General John Ashcroft. Stern has stammering celebrity interviewer "Stuttering John" Melendez.
  2. E-DubleSkilZ

    E-DubleSkilZ New Jack

    Joined: Jan 30, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 1
    kinda funny.. also kinda sad someone came up with this
  3. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
  4. seeking

    seeking Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: May 25, 2000 Messages: 32,277 Likes Received: 235
    that was not funny.
  5. --zeSto--

    --zeSto-- Guest

    HAHAHAHAHAHA (again)
  6. Intangible

    Intangible 12oz Legend

    Joined: Jul 9, 2001 Messages: 17,479 Likes Received: 6
    They both are on tv...hahhahahzahaha I win! ....fine ill leave now...
  7. suburbian bum

    suburbian bum 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Jan 30, 2001 Messages: 14,673 Likes Received: 3

    Boo, that was fucking lame. NOt funny!
  8. Whoa1

    Whoa1 Member

    Joined: Aug 22, 2002 Messages: 292 Likes Received: 0
    None of those were "astonishing", that was the cheesiest shit ever written.
  9. boogie hands

    boogie hands 12oz Legend

    Joined: Feb 15, 2001 Messages: 16,059 Likes Received: 13
    i knew when i saw the title this was going to be some corny, boring shit....just though id stop in to confirm it and leave my input....
  10. FatBoy

    FatBoy Banned

    Joined: Jun 20, 2002 Messages: 205 Likes Received: 0
    howard stern
    is dope
  11. socrates

    socrates Guest

    this is gayer than a three dollar bill
  12. binaryheresy

    binaryheresy Member

    Joined: Mar 19, 2002 Messages: 474 Likes Received: 0
  13. AeRoSoL JuNkiE

    AeRoSoL JuNkiE Elite Member

    Joined: Jul 1, 2000 Messages: 2,505 Likes Received: 0
  14. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    another response telling you that was dumb