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okay yall, serious crisis thread from yours truly...


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Okay, I'm going to give you guys the inside scoop on me, and I ask that you give me some advice on how i can fix my situation / problems.

 

That being said, i need some help. First off, I have a hard time making new friends, or just meeting new people and getting along with them. I'm not saying that I'm desperate to meet some new people, because I do like being on my own a lot, but everybody wants to be liked and feel wanted.

 

But i don't know what my problem is, maybe I really am to hard on people when i first meet them, but I try to let shit slide that I might disagree with them about, whether its something that they do that annoys me, or that I just dont agree with, I try to write it off, but time after time people dont meet my expectations I guess you could say.

 

All i really want is to be able to hang out with a crowd of new people, and just kinda blend in and mingle with everybody without feeling completely outcasted, or feel like if im not putting on a show for everyone (being funny and what not) that i'm also participating in the activities and fun.

 

As you guys know, I tend to look at the humorous sides of things a lot, and I try to make people laugh and what have you, but the downfall to always being the "funny guy" is that nobody really takes me seriously, so everyone wants me around to entertain them, but if im not in the mood, or having a bad day myself, they dont really care if I'm around or not, and I hate that.

 

But you see, that's exactly my problem. It seems like people want me to be loud and obnoxious and over the top funny, but I'm constantly walking this invisible tight rope, and if i go overboard with my jokes or what I say, people get offended or pissed off, but if I'm not doing that, they think something is wrong with me. So I'm constantly like what the fuck? ya know?

 

I know a lot of my problems are self inflicted, like not having a job, and not taking better care of myself and a big lack of responsibility, but everyone knows it's a lot easier to do all those things when you have a good group of friends, maybe a girl by your side, and so on...

 

So basically what I'm asking is for some suggestions on how I could change or i dont know, how do i make more friends, or get to hang out with more people, without feeling like an outcast?

 

Because as of right now, I feel like I need to forget about girls, get a job or two, and just work and save up some money. But you see, if i decide to do that, which I'm more than capable of doing, I like focus on that shit only, like I'll be mainly concerned with work and money stacking, and in a way i'll almost punish myself by not trying to meet people or make friends, because in one way or another, I feel like i dont deserve that shit or something, or if i go after that to I'll fuck up the job shit...

 

I don't know, thanks for reading through this rant of mine, I'm kinda feeling down right now, and I didnt really feel like talking to anyone I know know, so here I am.

 

:(

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Do these things in the following order:

 

1.Art

 

2.Eat Cereal (Count chocula is preffered, but if you can find it frosted flakes will suffice.)

 

3.Go outside and enjoy the sunshine

 

4.Take a walk ( feel free to do some drugs as well)

 

-More art, Lots more

 

5.Call up a female friend, talk to her about your problems, not an internet chat board. (Helps solidify your relationship with her as well, its bonding time.)

 

6.Talk to some people, i do it all the time. Just say hello.. it can really help put you in a good mood.

 

-7.Tell your mom you love her.

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Originally posted by uncle-boy

tell your real life friends what you told us :idea:

 

honestly, i only got two real friends (that i consider friends anyways) my paint partner (he a friend to but you know) and my one friend who's been there forever.

 

I have people who probally consider me their friend, but i could give a fuck about them really. They cool and all but you know how that goes...

 

:o

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you can meet some real cool people at work, i love my co-workers and have developed freindships through work, so finding a job may just benefit you the most, you'll be making money, and perhaps new friends, another good way to meet people is through basketball, you like the game, we all know you do, go to a park your not familiar with just by your self and bring along a ball, see what kinds of kids you meet up either wanting to play you, or have you on thier team, and dont forget school is the prime place to meet people, get back in school and not only will you be bettering your self in the future you can also be making new friends, but if worse comes to worse my nigga, theres always friendster, im serious on that tip though, everyone on there is on there because they want to meet new people, just like you want to...

 

 

good luck

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QUALITY OVER QUANITY TEASE

 

just because you got 2 really close friends dont mean nothing, i rather have 2 real close friends then 20 non close friends, i my self have 2 real close friends, i paint with both of um, but we we're friends way before graffiti got serious, thats another way matter a fact to meet people, paint, and paint a lot, get really good, people will want to meet you......dont know if you seen the fx movie but did you see poem? no offense but dude looks like a fuckin loser, but hes down with fx and is boys with all of them cats because he paints....

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DAZE-

 

see the problem is just that, i have a hard time making friends... school didnt help for shit, because ive become real anti-social. not really, but basically i dont go out of my way to meet people or make friends. know what i mean?

 

and in the past, i'm cool with my work buddies, but we never really hung out, it came time to get off work and i was ready to fucking bounce ya know?

 

and those goofy fucks on myspace and friendster all got hella problems, that's why there rejected from society asses are on those websites anyways... :lol:

 

teaser/ really... :bawling: / :cry2: 'ing inside oner.

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<span style='color:pink'>wear pink, lots of girls will come up to you and initiate conversation, while guys just snicker and wish they had the balls to wear pink and maybe girls would go talk to them...<span style='color:888888'>instead the same guys who talk shit get their ass beat by a guy who they just called a "fag!" instead of getting the girl! .wonk saggin</span>.</span>

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More than anything be yourself and be who you think is comfortable. Still, take notice of what you and others may deem as personal flaws, and work on what you think needs working on. But still don't "front" and try to be somebody you're not. Be yourself.

 

And like Daze said, school or the workplace are the best place to start. And don't be afraid to take the initiative and be the first to talk to people. From my experience talking and getting to know people who seem to be connected with other people is the best way. Once you get to be friends with that person it should cause like a "domino effect" as you will be introduced to the people they hang out with and before you know it you're part of the group. But make sure these people are people you want to hang out with and have some things in common with you, don't just hang out with them because you need someone to hang out with.

 

And you don't have to be "popular". Personally I refuse to be the popular guy on campus or at work. It's too much pressure and too much drama to put up with. Personally I like hanging somewhere in the middle.

 

And be sure to participate in events. Someone's gives you a flyer to a party? Go! A certain type of event that'll interest you? Go! That should ensure that you'll meet people that will share the same interests as you.

 

I'm through rambling.

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teasola,

 

couple years ago i thought i was gonna crack. trying to kick a habit, bummed on an x girl, beef with my friends, etc. etc...

 

so i saw a shrink for a few months, full on tony soprano style. it was cool. mad expensive, but the guy helped me sort some shit. i only talked to him about 10 times, but here's one thing he told me that def helped me a lot, and i think it relates to you.

 

regarding friends:

 

finding true friends, who you feel 100% connected to, is about as common as falling in love with a girl. you gotta try to focus on people's good qualities, not harp on the negative. havin 2 real friends is fine. you're lucky if you got one. but the fact is, most people need to interact with others pretty regularly without getting bored/ lonely/ depressed. so these 2 homies aren't always around and you need more heads to chill with or whatever. lower your standards. it's alright to chill with people who aren't completely on the same page as you. actually, it's healthy. you might learn somethin new. i'm not tellin you to keep shady friends, there's a difference

 

-try to be yourself. fuck puttin on a show.

-give people a chance, even if some things about them are off.

-remember that EVERYBODY FRONTS to a certain extent, so don't feel like everyone is all happy and shit. they aint.

-boredom breeds a lot of negativity. try to keep yourself busy, hopefully doin somethin productive.

-when you get completely fed up with the shit, you could always move to china like me:D

 

keep ya chin up, yao ming?

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Re: Re: okay yall, serious crisis thread from yours truly...

 

Originally posted by TheoHuxtable

More than anything be yourself and be who you think is comfortable. Still, take notice of what you and others may deem as personal flaws, and work on what you think needs working on. But still don't "front" and try to be somebody you're not. Be yourself.

 

this is a major dilema as well for me.

 

I admit, i used to talk a lot of shit back in the day, and I never acted black par'say, but i did act "harder" than i really was/am. You know, so people wouldn't fuck with me.

 

But after getting over that, and then realising no matter how many black people I convince that I am cool, they're never going to really accept me as a cool person/friend etc... (I started noticing that I have to prove myself to every black kid that comes along that i know whats up, and I got tired of doing that shit, and then even developed a small hatred towards black people...)

 

but besides all that crap, I've been trying to look into myself, see personal flaws, or flaws that i think i have that others would point out, and I've tried time and time again to fix those things, and nothing seems to work.

 

And keep in mind im not changing my points of view, or who I am as a person to suit others, but if I think it's something i need to change to improve myself as a person, I'll change it if i see fit.

 

Another big problem I got is being stubborn, and out spoken I guess. I dont back down from my opinion either. Like when it comes to drinking or smoking cigs / weed, or doing other drugs for that fact, if im not feeling that shit, im not going to do it. That shit hurts me a lot when it comes to meeting people, I'm not really fond of kicking it with people who smoke cigs / weed all the time, because i dont like smelling like smoke or weed all day long, plus that shit's boring when youre not participating...

 

so that right there makes it hard to meet people. (people who smoke cigs / weed) thats like scratching off 50% or more of the people you could possibly meet out there...

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tease, one of the good friends i mentioned earlier that i have smokes weed every day, and is becomming some drinker, but that doesnt change the type of person they are, just because they are doing something you dont agree on shouldnt mean you cant be cool with them like that, however i do understand what you mean take my girl for instance, she doesnt smoke or drink, but she used too....if it were up to me she would never have ever tried a damn thing, but i like this girl a lot, is it right for me to not be with her just because of her smoking/drinking? i admit she no longer does those things, but if she still did, id still be with her....its just the way life is, people for the most part are gonna be drinkers/smokers and you're going to just have to put up with it just as if they had a different problem you may over look, i hope that made sense

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Originally posted by iquit

regarding friends:

 

finding true friends, who you feel 100% connected to, is about as common as falling in love with a girl. you gotta try to focus on people's good qualities, not harp on the negative. havin 2 real friends is fine. you're lucky if you got one. but the fact is, most people need to interact with others pretty regularly without getting bored/ lonely/ depressed. so these 2 homies aren't always around and you need more heads to chill with or whatever. lower your standards. it's alright to chill with people who aren't completely on the same page as you. actually, it's healthy. you might learn somethin new. i'm not tellin you to keep shady friends, there's a difference

 

-try to be yourself. fuck puttin on a show.

-give people a chance, even if some things about them are off.

-remember that EVERYBODY FRONTS to a certain extent, so don't feel like everyone is all happy and shit. they aint.

-boredom breeds a lot of negativity. try to keep yourself busy, hopefully doin somethin productive.

-when you get completely fed up with the shit, you could always move to china like me:D

 

yea, i feel the same way about having two true friends is better than a bunch that arent really friends at all, that is definately true.

 

but like you said, its healthy to interact with others as well. but for some reason or another, I'm not very good at that shit.

 

about "being yourself and not putting on a show"... ive thougth about this time and time again, and im not really sure what "being myself" is. Ive changed and tried so many fucking things, i dont know what to do anymore, or what is really me or what isnt, because honestly, im not putting out much effort, being silly and goofy and making people happy is me, but I guess im not being me when i go overboard, but then again thats what im thinking about at that time, and so i say it...

 

but you get what im saying when i say it gets confusing? cuz i honestly dont know what "i am" or what being myself really is.

 

and i know everyone fronts to an extent, thats very very true.

 

and last but not least, the giving people a chance thing:

 

i seriously need help with this one. i know im to hard on others, because im way to hard on myself. But i dont know how to overlook shit i guess you could say. you see, i got fucked over by some people i considered to be really good friends, so when i see certain qualities in someone else, i kinda have a tendency to write them off, like fuck them you know, i know that they are shitty people to, so why bother giving them a chance ya know?

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Originally posted by Daze One Million

tease, one of the good friends i mentioned earlier that i have smokes weed every day, and is becomming some drinker, but that doesnt change the type of person they are, just because they are doing something you dont agree on shouldnt mean you cant be cool with them like that, however i do understand what you mean take my girl for instance, she doesnt smoke or drink, but she used too....if it were up to me she would never have ever tried a damn thing, but i like this girl a lot, is it right for me to not be with her just because of her smoking/drinking? i admit she no longer does those things, but if she still did, id still be with her....its just the way life is, people for the most part are gonna be drinkers/smokers and you're going to just have to put up with it just as if they had a different problem you may over look, i hope that made sense

 

oh i feel you on that, i mean i like to drink, not everyday or every minute, but i definately like drinking and getting fucked up, but i dont like the smell of cigaretes at all and im not going to put myself in a position to be around that shit if i can avoid it. same thing with weed. People smoke cigs and weed at parties I goto, and thats fine by me, its a one night thing... but i dont want friends who smoke cigs or weed because then I'd be around it more than i care to be around it, and im not comprimising my preferences because some kid likes to smoke.

 

ya feel me?

 

last chick i talked to smoked cigs and weed as well, and i was cool with it, mainly because whenever we kissed she never tasted like cigarettes or weed, so it didnt bother me much, except it did kinda piss me off that i always left her apartment smelling like i smoke 3 cartons of cigs... but i was cool with it.

 

so i can manage if i want to, but i choose not to, yao mings?

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Originally posted by DETO

<span style='color:pink'>wear pink, lots of girls will come up to you and initiate conversation, while guys just snicker and wish they had the balls to wear pink and maybe girls would go talk to them...<span style='color:888888'>instead the same guys who talk shit get their ass beat by a guy who they just called a "fag!" instead of getting the girl! .wonk saggin</span>.</span>

 

..... Hm.

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Guest -MOE LESTER-

haha tease its funny because i relate to what you said in the first post about friends and all that shit

 

but sadly i have no good advice to give to you

 

alcohol will help stop your social worries...who gives a fuck about their opinions....unless someone says shit to your face it doesnt matter what secret personal grudges they might hold (like the things you hold on other people)

 

i analyze other people and their actions and its stupid...im trying to just be a more chill friendly mother fucker and not hold opinions

 

and dont smoke weed..its only gonna make your social paranoia worse

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i say that you should do things that you like to do, someone said basketball, and that way you can meet people that you have something with. you can also go out and watch people, like get on the bus and listen to a good cd and think, this dosnt help meeting people much but its good to think and experience new things.

staying in your house wont do much. and i know the feeling of being isolated but you just gotta get outta the house and do something you like.

painting a lot is an idea because alotta the time people will find you. other graff heads are prolly going to the same places you are. but just be careful about graff. sorry if my thoughts seem so everywhere, you are in a hard place in your life. is this a thing thas been going on for a while, or just recently. cuz you could just be going through a breif period of depression. sometimes my moods fluctuate, and i dont feel motivated to do anything.

but just do something, working, painting, exploreing, you will find people like you.

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Originally posted by iquit

-remember that EVERYBODY FRONTS to a certain extent, so don't feel like everyone is all happy and shit. they aint.

 

 

Good point, I was about to say something along those lines. Sometimes it's good to be observant and you'll notice the fakeness in people. Actin' like the world is one big joyride and laughing at everything even if it isn't funny. Or talking "big" and pretending that they're actually about something. All this is tied to a sense of insecurity, that's why they behave this way to hide the reality. 9 times out of 10 they're no different from me or you. I've met people like this, and from the start you believe that these people really are high-class, trouble-free, financially wealthy giddy people; but once you actually get to know them, you'd be surprised that many of them are no better than you and in fact some are in worse positions than you. They're living a lie.

 

I just came from a funeral service a couple weeks ago, and the memorial service was held at my house. We must've had close to 100 people attend. About half of them I didn't even know. Everyone dressed in expensive suits and dresses. Everyone smiling and hugging and laughing and acting all snobbish. I had on some sweat pants and a hoodie. My uncle had on some jeans and a t-shirt. I was like "wow these people are high class, we're kinda outta place", and my uncle was like "These guys are no more high class than me or you. Most of them are just putting on a show." And it's true. The ones I did know are no different from me or the average joe. So fuck the looks and stares I got, I rocked those sweats with pride at the party. Afterall it was my house motherfucker.

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Originally posted by 1HalfOfMe

i say that you should do things that you like to do, someone said basketball, and that way you can meet people that you have something with. you can also go out and watch people, like get on the bus and listen to a good cd and think, this dosnt help meeting people much but its good to think and experience new things.

staying in your house wont do much. and i know the feeling of being isolated but you just gotta get outta the house and do something you like.

painting a lot is an idea because alotta the time people will find you. other graff heads are prolly going to the same places you are. but just be careful about graff. sorry if my thoughts seem so everywhere, you are in a hard place in your life. is this a thing thas been going on for a while, or just recently. cuz you could just be going through a breif period of depression. sometimes my moods fluctuate, and i dont feel motivated to do anything.

but just do something, working, painting, exploreing, you will find people like you.

 

word man, good stuff. ive decided that i need to be more selfish, and focus on myself for awhile, instead of worrying about everyone else and what they think or what they might be up to, and concentrate on myself for awhile.

 

i plan on painting more, but im not really fond of a lot of the writers here in my city, i respect a good amount of them, but quite a few are assholes thats i dont care to associate with anyways.

 

list of things i plan on doing to improve my situation are:

 

1- get a job or two

2- start doing push ups / working out

3- start running again

4- read for an hour or two each day

5- paint twice a week (go out i mean)

6- paint two canvases a month

7- experience more

8- talk to random people (make convo)

9- look into some new hobbies more in depth

10- start an idea journal / book

11- save up $10,000 in the bank (eventually)

12- get a tattoo or two

13- learn how to cook more things

14- get more into photography

15- finish college one day

16- get a new car (pay for it myself, and pay it off)

17- get my own apartment

18- get back into bowling / pool / basketball more competitively

19- look into comedy / start a joke book / comedian routine

20- work on tshirt business on the side

21- work on learning more, being more well rounded

22- stop cussing so much

23- improve vocabulary / speech

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Originally posted by TheoHuxtable

I've met people like this, and from the start you believe that these people really are high-class, trouble-free, financially wealthy giddy people; but once you actually get to know them, you'd be surprised that many of them are no better than you and in fact some are in worse positions than you. They're living a lie.

 

yea, pretty much 90% of the people i see are like this. All cheerful and care free, drives me fucking insane. I mean i love to be happy as much as the next person, but being like that 24-7 like youve never had a problem in your life pisses me the fuck off.

 

i couldnt lie to myself like that if i wanted to... :lol:

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