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odd craigslist postings...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Mr. Mang, Jan 25, 2005.

  1. Mr. Mang

    Mr. Mang Elite Member

    Joined: Feb 27, 2002 Messages: 2,901 Likes Received: 1
    rants & raves > "tacky" sand box revenge
    Date: 2005-01-24, 11:34PM PST

    Dearest neighbors. I want you to know that it was me, yes me. I am the guilty one. Or am I? Perhaps it is your fault. You are the ones who let your children scream, run, prances and utterly torment me with their hi pitched screams of fun. I could only find one solution to the horrific noise pollution that rose from that ghastly feline defecated sand box you let your offspring play in. Since you wont quiet down I was forced to shut down the sand box. 3 packages of thumb tacks seemed to do the trick. I laughed aloud when I heard the cry of the first “owies”. I giggled when I saw you parents trying to comb the sand to remove the tacks. 200 tacks come in a box, I tossed 3 boxes into the sand. You will never get them all. If you do I will just steal more from work and do it again. I finally have silence. Perhaps toxic chemicals in the sand will be my next choice.
  2. trackstand

    trackstand Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 21, 2004 Messages: 2,262 Likes Received: 3
  3. Jackson

    Jackson Veteran Member

    Joined: May 21, 2002 Messages: 7,345 Likes Received: 122
    HAHAA pure genius. Fucking quality.
  4. Rodney Trotter

    Rodney Trotter Senior Member

    Joined: Aug 23, 2001 Messages: 1,683 Likes Received: 1

    Quite funny actually.
  5. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    I just bought 120+ divx movie rips from craigslist.

    a birthday gift to me!
  6. oneeightyone

    oneeightyone Senior Member

    Joined: May 23, 2003 Messages: 1,289 Likes Received: 0
    haha, that's fucking hilarious.
  7. fatalist

    fatalist Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 10, 2004 Messages: 6,354 Likes Received: 25
    I DON'T FIND THE HUMOR IN IT, guess cause i'm too much of a nice person.
  8. nomadawhat

    nomadawhat Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 24, 2001 Messages: 5,001 Likes Received: 2
    You made me VOMIT in my mouth.

    Reply to: anon-56988576@craigslist.org
    Date: 2005-01-24, 11:40PM PST

    You are the lowest form of life. You stupid fuck. Do not fucking call me to wish me a happy goddamn birthday after you dump me months ago. The sound of your nasally voice actually made me vomit. Not quite projectile vomit, no more like just vomit in my mouth. No, I do NOT want to have a “birthday dinner” with you. I’d actually rather eat my dog’s shit than hang out with your lame ass again. I bet you thought asking me to dinner was a really a nice gesture, huh? Just like I’m sure you intended nothing but the best for me when you dumped me 4 DAYS before my GMAT! That’s right, 4 fucking days before my GMAT! Thanks for nothing you insensitive dipwad. I hope your dick shrivels up and is rendered useless. I feel sorry for your offspring already. Thanks to you I threw up a perfectly good pepperoni hot pocket.

    my missed connection: my morning hot pocket
  9. <KEY3>

    <KEY3> Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 6,878 Likes Received: 2
    Dear Wigger,

    As a fan of rap music, I need to ask you to slow your roll. Ease up right thurr. Stop with the idiot grilling. Cease and desist. In other words, cease living.

    It's because of you that when I walk up to purchase music at a store I'm sure the clerk is thinking to themselves, 'look at this wigger not buying the latest Nickelback album', even though I am exhibiting none of the usual outward attributes that stereotypical wiggers possess.

    It's because of you that I can no longer wear a ballcap backwards for fear of being slotted in with you.

    It's because of you that there is no doubt a large shortage of wavecaps in this world, even though you HAVE NO WAVES.

    It's because of you that the pinwheel hat industry is now set for the next hundred years, during which time they will no doubt introduce something even more hideous than the pinwheel cap.

    It's because of you that I am leery of saying that I listen to hip hop to my fellow co-workers.

    It's because of you that De La Soul is not 'applicable to the audience of BET' and cannot have their videos on air anymore.

    It's because of you that I can't buy a decent pair of baggy jeans or a shirt without having some shitty comic graphic taking up half the space on the ass and/or chest pocket area.

    Really. All of you should give up. Just shut the fuck up, go home, burn all your music and your assorted parephenalia associated with said music, and take up something else. Euchre. Maybe gambling. But don't fuck around with my music anymore.

    - I think it's seeking undercover!
  10. fatalist

    fatalist Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 10, 2004 Messages: 6,354 Likes Received: 25

  11. nomadawhat

    nomadawhat Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 24, 2001 Messages: 5,001 Likes Received: 2

    Reply to: anon-56987540@craigslist.org
    Date: 2005-01-24, 11:18PM PST

    you were grunting and groaning something awful, mumbling about a 'breached birth' while next to me this afternoon in the restroom stall right above the pet store and I was very close to calling the paramedics. by the time you were finished, Im sure you had squeezed out a baby seal. You winked at me in the mirror and wiped the sweat off your brow and said, 'its the shit,' and then you went back to shopping, without washing your hands. its a number 2 I'll just never forget.

    this is in or around weho
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  12. Ferris Bueller

    Ferris Bueller Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 25, 2000 Messages: 4,246 Likes Received: 71
    I couldn't help but laugh at this one ^^
  13. nomadawhat

    nomadawhat Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 24, 2001 Messages: 5,001 Likes Received: 2
    ^^wait a minute.... it must of been iquit and his sunflowere seeds!! :idea:
  14. smokejuda

    smokejuda Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2003 Messages: 611 Likes Received: 0
  15. nomadawhat

    nomadawhat Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 24, 2001 Messages: 5,001 Likes Received: 2