Milton Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 So, a roomate moved into my apartment maybe 2 months ago. Very unassuming Korean med-student. He was very nice, and whatever, but very quiet and kept to himself. So tonight, I leave the door unlatched so I can run down to see my girlfriend who lives in the same building. When I arrive back at my apartment, the door is locked tight. I buzz the buzzer, and my roomate opens it. He says "Why don't you close the door." I say "I ran downstairs for a minute, what do you mean." He goes on for about 15 minutes about the laundry I left in the corner of the living room, how he can't bring his one (male) friend over because I sometimes sleep on the couch, how I left his TV on a few times and he had to turn it off, how when I do sleep on the couch he can't use the couch in the morning when he wakes up before me (which happened one day last weekend when I was sick), and how leaving the door unlatched lets cold air in which makes his fish cold. Then he demands to know what I intend to do about the situation, and says "I don't think you know someone else is living here." Once I realized that he had a list of grievances that he had kept to himself like a bitch until his one (male) friend convinced him to say something and then was going to demand shit and be rude about the entire situation, I began to correct everything he was saying in the most demeaning and sarcastic way possible. For instance, one part of the exchange went as follows: "I can't bring my friends over because you're sleeping on the couch." "You mean your friend?" "What?" "You mean that one guy that sometimes comes over to appraise your anime figurines?" "Anyway..." Then I insisted that it was "because I'm white," and demanded that he write up a list of grievances and proposed solutions and fed-ex them to my work address. He refused and I ended the conversation. I eventually went to my room, but not before moving all of my mobile possessions, including every lightbulb in our living room the power strip to which his VCR and TV connect and the wireless hub, into my bedroom, standing my coffee table and couches on their sides against the wall to prevent him from using them, and removing all of my cooking supplies, silverwear and china from the kitchen. I'll show the passive aggressive bastard... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spuds Mckenzie Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Hahahahhahahaah. Fantastic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spuds Mckenzie Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 anime figurines ahahahahahahahhaahaa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted March 21, 2006 Author Share Posted March 21, 2006 I hear these chumps at all hours of the night giggling in highpitched nasally voices about "that's so awesome, I can't believe you got that, it's so rare..." Either they're appraising anime figurines or dude has a virtually unknown West Indian strain of herpes simplex... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D0WN Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 so move out and quit bitchin on the internet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted March 21, 2006 Author Share Posted March 21, 2006 Wonderful response! Kudos. My lease is up in June... I'll be gone like Nick Cannon's street cred... Mosque! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spuds Mckenzie Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Who the fuck is nick cannnon? a porn star? dick cannon would have been a better name/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potofweed Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Haha isn't Nick Cannon that guy with the Viva La Bam wannabe show on Nick?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 umm i dont see these as unspeakable demands i see them as common courtesy for your roomate you fucking slob... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 I say piss on his pillow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentBob Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 I was going to say dude, it does sound like he's kind of anal. But it's not totally unreasonable. Bleh, I guess sometimes being a cunt is in your interests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnorMacManus Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 yea, don't know how fucked up it was that he brought these complaints up--he was probably straight with everything, kind of, until the door was left open then just felt you crossed the line. Still, i think what you did is mad funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAR Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Im going to go out on a limb here and say that his requeset were not unreasonable but he needs to be more vocal about his oppinions if your partnership is going to work. The problem I think was that he became too posessive about his shared property. Theres no reason why the two of you cant sit down and work this out. Both of you are acting like spoiled brats based on what I read and if you are going to make your last few month bearable changing that might not be a bad idea. You should be able to figure this out on your own but if you need suggestions on rules to make things work just say so. Itching powder on his pillow. It the meanest prank I ever pulled. Sleep deprivation + non-stop itching = psycosis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentBob Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 ^ I like what you're saying buddy, but have you visited the real world lately? Reasonable negotiating just isn't the way things get handled. Being a cunt and locking everything you own in your room. And then maybe peeing on a pillow and then maybe mocking owner of said peed on stinky pillow by making fake praising of anime noises really loud at 5 in the morning in a fake Korean accent, is much more realistic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Originally posted by MAR@Mar 21 2006, 08:45 AM Both of you are acting like spoiled brats based on what I read Quoted post Ding. In other news, I just fucking spilled coke on my iPod. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAR Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 sniff away! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Yeah, too bad it wasn't on the mirrored surface. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Originally posted by Milton@Mar 21 2006, 08:45 AM "that's so awesome, I can't believe you got that, it's so rare..." dude has a virtually unknown West Indian strain of herpes simplex... Quoted post Haha, comic genius. But seriously, don't forget that you have to live with this guy. You could fight dirty with him, but in the long run it might be easier to just try to make ammends, compromise, and work out how not to piss eachother off. He should have mentioned those things to you before, just tell him you would have accepted it, not as a nag, but as a kind suggestion. Go out for beer with him, laugh it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milton Posted March 21, 2006 Author Share Posted March 21, 2006 I understand that, it isn't unreasonable at all. I told him that the second he started the conversation. I said specifically "I understand that you want things done, that's cool, ask me and I'll take care of it." I've lived with people for going on 6 years, if you have a problem you can say "I have a problem, can you fix it." What you don't do is lock someone out, pop up at the door and then start accusing them of shit, and after they have already said they'll fix it, continue to demand things. You also don't say shit like "Why should I have to ask you," or "what are you going to do about it?" I don't know how things are where dude is from, but in my opinion "what are you going to do about it" is an invitation for someone to take a swing at you. As far as I'm concerned, I was living here for six months alone, if you come in and want to change things, you need to say so instead of smiling like a goofball every time I see you and then one day flipping out and bitching about eight things that you don't like. I'm not dudes boyfriend, we don't have a 'relationship' to work on. The moral of the story is, if you want someone to do something, talk to them like a man instead of waiting for all this shit to become a confrontation. Edit: As a side note, we don't have "shared property." Dude has been shamelessly using my shit since the jump and then he yells about how I shouldn't stack books up and that he "understands I have financial trouble" but "I need to buy a book case." That's the problem, I don't complain about dude leaving piles of sneakers in the dining area, nor do I complain about him leaving open umbrellas on the kitchen counter to dry them off. I just chalked it up to us needing to be understanding about some shit in order to live together harmoniously. I guess that doesn't go both ways... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CACashRefund Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 you should put a big knife under pillow. so if he ever goes around digging through your shit, he'll know he better cool the fuck down. i remember a friend of mines noticed a knife like that under his roomates pillow, he wasnt snooping around he was in there looking for some of his cd's and he noticed the handle and went in for a closer inspection "dont trip off the knife, he's cool, hes just making sure YOURE cool too" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 and you didn't just hog tie his ass and throw him in the closet because......? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CACashRefund Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 he fears legal action against him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumy Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Originally posted by Mr. ABC@Mar 21 2006, 11:54 AM and you didn't just hog tie his ass and throw him in the closet because......? Quoted post yeah, Milton don't be such a bitch.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveAustin Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 back when one of my old roommates would get sick...dude would just camp out in the living room on the couch and everyone else would eventually get sick. we finally resorted to spraying him and the entire room down with Lysol and he finally got the point to keep his fucking germs in his own damn room. have I mentioned how great it is not to have roommates? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 You own a gun dont you? You should just be sitting up one morning and when he comes out of his room, leave the gun on the table and just turn it so its pointing in his direction and look at him all crazy like in the movies. Challenge him to a game of russian roulette. If you own a pistol make sure he goes first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
count chocula Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 saran wrap the toilet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveAustin Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Originally posted by mr.yuck@Mar 21 2006, 12:22 PM If you own a pistol make sure he goes first. Quoted post pistol...fuck...I'd make him go first regardless...especially if you have a semi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geezpot Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 I think you both need to tag team an inflatable anime doll then take it all up with Jerry Springer about the torrid love affair he's having behind your back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonesome Cowboy Bill Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 I think you guys should just fuck and get it over with... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumy Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Originally posted by Lonesome Cowboy Bill@Mar 21 2006, 03:12 PM I think you guys should just fuck and get it over with... Quoted post "you know how I know you're gay?...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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