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My name is Dr. Dazzle, and I am into docking...

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Dr. Dazzle, May 5, 2004.

  1. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    My name is Dr. Dazzle, and I am a candy addict....

    Today I think I had an epiphany. As I sat there watching some show where people miraculously survive accidents that should by all means have killed them, I looked down at my hands, only to realize that I was clutching on to about 8 Roundtree's Wine Gums. It also dawned on me that this was the third handful I had eaten of these in about an hour.....

    I eat candy like I'm a 5 year old discovering sugar for the first time. I can go entire days where the only nutrition I have had has been from sour soothers and gummy bears. I go to 7-11 and buy $5 bags worth of bulk candy, and have finished them off before I even get home. I go to Costco and buy those big boxes of cola-bottles and polish the box off in a matter of days. Candy becomes a meal to me. It's a serious problem.

    This thread has been made purely out of lack of anything else to do. It's fucking snowing outside IN MAY, all plans have been kiboshed, I'm in a pissy mood, and my only company is these gummy frogs which I just realized I am eating. Fuck. Please feel free to make references to fucking my mum, to me being a loser, or whatever other bullshit insults you guys seem to throw in to every thread. Or discuss my addiction, and possible ways in which you can donate money to my rehabilitation.

    Oh, and which is your favourite candy?
  2. DETO

    DETO Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Apr 25, 2002 Messages: 11,350 Likes Received: 154
    <span style='color:pink'>"hi, dr. dazzle!"</span>
  3. -J.Handsome-

    -J.Handsome- Member

    Joined: Mar 24, 2004 Messages: 270 Likes Received: 0
    sorry, i can't really add too much to the thread, i don't care too much for candy. i do however enjoy white chocolate on occasion.
  4. 2 blaazed

    2 blaazed New Jack

    Joined: Jun 28, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 3
  5. esp

    esp Member

    Joined: Aug 20, 2003 Messages: 315 Likes Received: 0
    congratulations, you win diabetes.
  6. Crimsøn

    Crimsøn Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 18, 2003 Messages: 2,120 Likes Received: 1
    Some of the best candy I've ever had came from
    England...everytime I remember I shake my fist!

    Damn you Nestle! Share the candy love with us Americans!


    < Sweettoothoner
  7. InDY_500

    InDY_500 Veteran Member

    Joined: Sep 30, 2002 Messages: 5,169 Likes Received: 67
    No one ever said candy wasn't good for you......I would contribute money but that would be petty sir........We'll pray for your safe recovery....

    I am a fan of the Reese's myself......
  8. Ski Mask

    Ski Mask 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 11,114 Likes Received: 209
  9. Vanity

    Vanity Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 7,673 Likes Received: 6
  10. Vanity

    Vanity Veteran Member

    Joined: Apr 11, 2000 Messages: 7,673 Likes Received: 6
  11. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Administrator

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,136 Likes Received: 82
    Haha, I'm not giving you any money you'll go buy more candy. It's a better addiction than some I'd say.

    My personal favorite has to be Brite Crawlers.... or sour patch kids.
  12. fatbastard

    fatbastard Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 30, 2002 Messages: 2,880 Likes Received: 11
    just look at my screenname

    • iam eating strawberry mentos as i type
    • skittles, fizzy cola bottles, and lemon chupchups are among my favourites
    • i dont think i have gone a week in years without some form of sugary treat
    • just look at my screen name
    • i never got the fascination with aero, its just chocolate with holes in...

    dazzle, i only just noticed your location now... why have i always thought you are from england?
  13. 26SidedCube

    26SidedCube Veteran Member

    Joined: Mar 18, 2003 Messages: 6,590 Likes Received: 10
    I survive on Dorritos, burritos, Arizona iced tea,
    vanilla cream donuts, milk, Mt. Dew, Ramen,
    m&m's, Reese's cups, and Burger King cheese
    burgers. I eat mad junk food. Funny thing is,
    I've been losing weight like crazy lately.
  14. fatbastard

    fatbastard Elite Member

    Joined: Jun 30, 2002 Messages: 2,880 Likes Received: 11
    well heroin users have better teeth.
  15. effyoo

    effyoo Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 2, 2002 Messages: 4,703 Likes Received: 0
    I heard something interesting about the original gulf war.

    The Americans who were killed, their bodies took longer to decompose than the Iraqis who were killed. they thought it was due to all the preservatives that were in the junk food and such that westerners tend to eat...

    You're not unhealthy, you're preserving your legacy!