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my darkest hour and the longest most painful 6 months of my life

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by l0rdka0s, Aug 26, 2003.

  1. l0rdka0s

    l0rdka0s Banned

    Joined: Dec 31, 2002 Messages: 8 Likes Received: 0
    well i know i havent made a decent thread ever but i think maybe some of you might take this into consideration.

    About 6 months ago my life went into over drive chaos mode. Imagine this, within one week I lost my best friend of 6 years, and i mean a true friend. Someone who stuck with me through all the shit that i have talked and the mean things i have done to people, he was still my friend. Then I lost my job of a year and a half, the longest job i have ever held down in my life, with the best pay and the easiest tasks. Then on february 14th, 2003 my heart broke forever when i told my gf i wanted to break up and she said "okay". Im not exactly sure thats what she said but i know she was sure as hell straight faced about it.

    Well this isnt the worst part. First let me go into depth about my friend leaving. I know youd say big deal right??? well heres the situation. I may have mentioned this before maybe not but they were all from another country which was not friendly of the US after these beauracratic sacks of shit passed the homeland security act of 2002. So my arch nemisis of all time and the one thing i hate the most, big government, fucking took my best friend. In addition i got so depressed when they had to leave the country that i couldnt go to work for two days and then got fucked there well needless to say it all came down.

    I dont know but ever since then nothing in my life has gone right, in addition to breaking up with my girl who i was with for three years and i think i had fallen in love with, i had to move out of her aprtment. So i was without a place to stay. Anyhow, I end up having to stay with a bipolar asshole who thought everyone was out to get but in reality this cat was out to get everyone else. yo he was a hustler from hell, and was keeping me fucked up almost 24 hours a day thinking that would solve my heartbreak, along with a steady flow of telling me how to get girls to fuck me.

    well after about two months he got damn tired of being the only shady fucker amongst the throngs of people i intrduced him to so he bounced. so i again was without a place to stay and a job.

    Moved back in with the rents and started a new job a month later well about a month after that i got throwed one night and beat the shit out of a bouncer at a bar and caught an assault charge. I spent like 2 weeks in jail and lost my job.

    I in my life have never ever been so depressed and out of touch with reality. The day me and my girl broke up i tried to kill myself because i too am bipolar but refused to accpet it a year ago when i was told. Well its like the worst part to all this shit that you didnt want to hear about is that i can never make it right with the two people in my life who cared about me the most because they are both gone. One lives in toronto and cant come back to the us for another 9 months, and the other one is right down the street but seems so far away because shes got someone else now. Who she found two weeks after we broke up.
  2. casekonly

    casekonly Veteran Member

    Joined: Aug 6, 2002 Messages: 8,264 Likes Received: 5
    "Either you define the moment or the moment defines you."
  3. sweetcherry

    sweetcherry Senior Member

    Joined: Jun 16, 2003 Messages: 1,016 Likes Received: 0
    aww i think you need a hug
  4. atrocks

    atrocks New Jack

    Joined: Nov 25, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
    didnt you already make a thread about this?....
  5. Dr. Dazzle

    Dr. Dazzle Veteran Member

    Joined: Nov 19, 2001 Messages: 8,147 Likes Received: 3
    Damn....and I thought I was having the worst day ever when I burned my fingers on the oven......
  6. avils

    avils Senior Member

    Joined: Jul 26, 2001 Messages: 1,574 Likes Received: 0
    cmon man.. keep your head up. i know this is dumb, but your problems are only temporary. sure, in the short term its like nothing can fix it.. but if you can make it thru day by day you'll realise after a while that things aren't that bad.

    dont know if you read any of my first posts back in 01, but i had similar problems.. and now im on top of the world. look at me.. weeeeeee

    "suicide is a permanent solution to a part-time problem"
  7. atrocks

    atrocks New Jack

    Joined: Nov 25, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
    i dont know.....i hear a bullet through the temple is quite orgasmic...like nothing u will ever feel again in your life some say....hahahahhaaha jk
  8. T E A S E R

    T E A S E R Guest

    :lol: hahahhahhahaha

    D- youre a weird guy man. atleast you can trick semi fine bitches into sleeping with you.

  9. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    Hmmm....here's what i did when i kept getting arrested every time i went outside, maybe it will help you. Focus on one thing. Get a new job. focus on that. Go to work and go home. Do that for a while. Then go back outside and start from scratch. I've had to do that many times in my life. Make it an adventure.
  10. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    suck it up man...whenever I think
    I hit rock bottom, or that Ive had the worst
    day in my life...I think of the kids Ive
    seen in a third world country. Ive seen
    some first hand...not pretty. SOme of you
    have heard me say this before...we
    here in America are spoiled. We think
    we have it bad when they squirt the wrong kind
    of milk in our coffee, or when someone
    forgot to throw ketchup in your happy meal,
    or when mommy cant give you a lift to the mall.
    Truth is...there are people suffering from far worse.
    I feel for your pain man, but its not as bad as it can
    get...trust me. Ever had to do somethign youy didnt
    want to do for a few bucks? Ever had to squat
    in a dirty shithole cuzz you had no choice? Ever
    had to eat out of a garbage can???

    we all have our bad days...but when you do..
    think of how bad someone else has it, then
    think about how bad you have it.

    *believe* :lick:
  11. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
    i just did a peice, i was feeling groovy, then i read this
    thanks a lot asshole
  12. T E A S E R

    T E A S E R Guest

    webs is right. theres always worse...

    today while pasisng out flyers, i saw like 6 blind people going to college. man thats got to suck. they cant see for shit, got people all up in their way, so many obstacles that id let get in my way and make me give up and yet they keep on keeping on.

    very admirable.

    keep youre head up mang...
  13. alure

    alure Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Oct 18, 2002 Messages: 4,700 Likes Received: 17
    i've been there just having a mental breakdown and never thinking anything is going to get better.. it will get better. sorry about you losing your friend. but just know that your friend wouldnt want you to be this sad and depressed, he'd want you to go on with your life and be happy right?

    ~after the darkest nights always comes a brighter day~
  14. WebsterUno

    WebsterUno Guest

    Sorry, I shouldnt be so harsh.
    Ive had many a breakdown myself.
    Where I felt like nothing was going
    right, and Im serious, I thought about
    other people with worse situations
    than mine. It made me feel better,
    like there was someone out there with
    more to worry about, ya know?
    I should have told you to just cheer up.
    But what good would that do? Maybe,
    hopefully, I sparked some thoughts in
    your head that werent there before,
    and now I got you thinking more positive.
  15. iloveboxcars

    iloveboxcars 12oz Royalty

    Joined: Jul 29, 2002 Messages: 20,506 Likes Received: 450
    i remember someone made a thread about killing themselves once and i put up a really convincing argument for killing himself.