26SidedCube Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Alright, there's been enough threads about good movies that most people wouldn't know were decent otherwise, this time I want to switch it up: This is where we can save each other from garbage flicks that might be recommended. Post up a movie and explain why it's bullshit. Here's my contribution/ reason for starting the thread: The Dreamers http://www.la-grange.net/2004/03/07-the-dreamers.jpg'> What happens when you gloryhole and namedrop as many classic pieces of cinema as possible while at the same time trying to deliver some sort of hard-hitting 'the power of innocence' cliche? The Dreamers, that's what happens. This movie follows the perfect artschool hack formula: -Name drops established film makers of the past. -The main character is a posh American artschool student studying in Paris. -Includes something disturbing/hard to watch. -Re-iterates how these people are the transcendental thinkers of their time... ...without ever transcending anything. -Some good clean incest... because all the best artists/poets fucked their family. -Movie built around a war stating that 'war is the dumberest' without ever really including anything about the war. -Bullshit ending where nothing is resolved. Paraphrased: this movie is visually synonymous with someone writing a poem about how deep their poetry is. Go on people.. save me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duh-rye-won Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 i saw riddick last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeforAnEYE Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 I didn't even see riddick but I know that it would blow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teh0wnz Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 THIRD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pfffffffffft Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Originally posted by Teh0wnz THIRD! THAT IS SO 2003 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeforAnEYE Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Originally posted by Pfffffffffft THAT IS SO 2003 saying that is so 1999 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pfffffffffft Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Originally posted by EyeforAnEYE saying that is so 1999 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ALL I CAN DO IS LAUGH...youre right:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EyeforAnEYE Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Score one for eyeforaneye :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teh0wnz Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon12.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
destroya Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 "the ninth gate" or something like that. boy, that movie was awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Peanut Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 http://media.bestprices.com/content/vhs/80/225480.jpg'> After meteorites fall to Earth in a medieval land, fire-breathing dragons emerge from the rubble to terrorize the countryside, bringing death and destruction. A team of six fighters will have to band together in order to defeat the flying monsters in order to assure the future of mankind. John Rhys-Davies (THE LORD OF THE RINGS) stars. to say the least this movie is good for a laugh. don't let john rhys davies give you the wrong impression...this movie is absolute dreck. then go watch plan 9 from outerspace:king: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElectricitySucks Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 anal allstars III Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest beardo Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 cold mountain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KING BLING Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 ^Yeah? I've never seen it but was planning to. Care to elaborate? Stay away from: *The Day After Tommorow - Though it is unintentionally funny *Blue Velvet - I don't care what you say, I don't think its as good as the rest of the world wants it to be *Punch Drunk Love AND Magnolia - Until they make a movie that shows the way burning hot diarrhea feels, these will have to do ...I havent been to many movies lately and don't want to list a bunch most of us have seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClueTwo Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 ANCHORMAN SUCKED ASS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLIK$ Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 anything Tease tells you to watch or says he 'slept on' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
26SidedCube Posted July 25, 2004 Author Share Posted July 25, 2004 Originally posted by KING BLING Stay away from: *The Day After Tommorow - Though it is unintentionally funny I stole this and still felt ripped off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pfffffffffft Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 super troopers....terrible terrible movie.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rinse Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Originally posted by Pfffffffffft super troopers....terrible terrible movie.. you werent down with super troopers-meow-? cold mountain sucked. so did anchorman. and along came polly too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pfffffffffft Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 the first 5 minutes was too damn funny...with the kids getting high and the one kids eats the whole bag of weed....after that the movie went down hill like a pink rollercoaster on TURBO at a gay amusement park Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest WebsterUno Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 *believe* street fighter II: the movie starring john claude van damage it stars van damn...wtf. all the fight scenes sucked. blanka was a wimp. that dude from blood in blood out played ken. it reminded me of a saturday morning live action tv show-extended. to top things off, they get all the cast members of the original street fighter II game together, in the final scene, to do some kind of team-spirit-group-cheer type bullshit. weak. watch the animated version instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fermentor666 Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 I got paid to show movies today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Peanut Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Re: *believe* Originally posted by WebsterUno to top things off, they get all the cast members of the original street fighter II game together, in the final scene, to do some kind of team-spirit-group-cheer type bullshit. weak. talk about shitting on something good. ...the game that is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Here's a couple sorry-ass movies. http://www.movieprop.com/tvandmovie/reviews/streetfighter.jpg'> http://www.reelmoviecritic.com/20035q/41c51f40.png'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B000171RAY.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg'> And I thought Starship Troopers part one was the shit. So I was shocked when I saw how garbage this one was. Then I read somewhere where they spent like 5% of the budget that they spent on Part One. Then it all became clear. Not sure if that's exactly true, but it's obvious that they did spend a lot less on this movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 street fighter was the shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheoHuxtable Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Originally posted by iloveboxcars street fighter was the shit. http://img26.photobucket.com/albums/v79/diverse/GANGSTER_OF_THE_YEAR_1992.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarzAbove Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 CABIN FEVER mos def Garbage! A virus takes over a town! No1 says how it started! Not even the name of the virus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weapon X Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Cabin fever was terrible, but the DVD is worth getting for those stop motion animated shorts, Rotten Fruit. I remember laughing until I was almost dead, that’s how funny they were. You wanna know what sequels I want to see? Darkman 2 and 3. A local critic says they were great, even though they went straight to video, and they replaced Liam Neeson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nekro Posted July 25, 2004 Share Posted July 25, 2004 Originally posted by ClueTwo ANCHORMAN SUCKED ASS. YES! If it had had a plot, I would summarize how shitty it was. Unfortunately, that will not be possible at this time. The Deep End This movie was horrible beyond belief. Here's the basic plot: closeted gay son has sex with 35 year old sleazy club owner. Club owner comes to closeted gay son's house, tries to force himself on closet gay son. Club owner is killed at gay son's waterfront home in tahoe. Mother finds and hides club owner's body. Gay mafia mastermind tries to extort mother for $50k with video of club owner and gay son having sex. Mother can't come up with 50K, gay mafia member comes to her aid. Mother and gay mafia member fall in love. Gay mafia mastermind goes to lakefront home, ends up dead. Gay mafia member offers to transport body, runs car off cliff. Dying words: I think i'm not..... This movie sucked major balls. The acting was mainly centered around the mother looking worried, and the horrid plot speaks for itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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