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MORE SEX TERMS AND TRICKS!!!!

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by bug, Apr 23, 2003.

  1. bug

    bug Guest

    The Halmstad Hook - This is a unique sequence of events named after a town in Sweden, where this apparently happens quite frequently. After dumping your spunk in her rear, the sauce is sucked out of the anus by the male. Once the sauce has transferred from her bowls to your mouth--the product that has been created is now known as "Swedish Cheese." The move is completed when the "Swedish Cheese" is transferred to the ladies mouth via a deep tongue kiss. You can cap this off with a swift stinging slap of her ass to show her how much you care and appreciate all her hard work.

    The Hamburger Helper - After knocking up some bimbo, you take her to the abortion clinic. While she is having the fetus sucked out of her you start playing with yourself. As the jar fills with your kid, you quickly open the jar and stuff the bloody mess up her ass and ram her hard using the kid as your lubricant. All chicks dig this....I'm serious, they do!

    Homo Buttholeian - When you're having buttsex and the man juice slides down her crack and into her vagina resulting in her miraculaously becoming pregnant, the baby is pretty much considered a new species

    Alaskan Pipeline - Freezing a piece of shit and re-inserting it into the asshole.

    Anal Boot - An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it with their cock and then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of the loser of a bet or drinking game

    Anal Spitfire - When you take a girl out for mexican food, then back to your place. You fuck her in her ass and cum inside her ass. Then she farts it out.

    The Helen Keller - The man is fucking the woman, before he finishes he punches her in the ears so she goes deaf and get knocked out, then he pulls out and cums into her eyes so she blind.

    Hot Tamale - Eat taco bell with fire sauce one day at lunch, make sure its HOT, then, when ur fucking your girlfriend or someone, take a sideways shit across her mouth, then jizz on top of the turd, thus creating a tamale, use your hands to clamp her jaw down, and yell "HOT TAMALE!!"

    Beverly Hills Whiffer - This move is restricted to those women who think they're God's gift to the world. Find a woman of the above description. Take her home and start doggie styling her. When you're about to blow, corkscrew two fingers into her ass, scraping as much shit as you can from her. Pull out your fingers, reach around her head to stick one finger in each nostril. Pull her head back so she can see you while you yell "So, you think your shit don't stink now ?!"

    The Avalanche - After a girl gives a really fat guy a Blow Job, he drops his stomach on her head like an avalanche.

    Sand Paper Treatment - When your girlfriend is sleeping run your forearm across her dry beaver as hard and rough as you can, shell wake up screaming like she just been scrapped with sand paper. Works great after a goodbye fuck on a chick you just caught cheating on you.

    Singapore Subway - When you stick a pvc pipe down a girls ass and run micro-machines down it.

    Skull Fuck - During oral sex, reach down at your partner's face, and gouge out an eyeball. Proceed to take your dick and fuck the socket. After you splooge in the socket, go get a raisin and colored icing (the same color as the other eye), and make a replacement eyeball. Make her stay in that position until the splooge dries, and she has a semen-processed eyeball.
    OR
    2) The act of slitting someone's throat and then humping the cut.

    Soft Taco - A term used to describe when a girl's vaginal crack is filled with shit, because her last dump was messy and she didn't clean herself properly

    The Special Olympics - A Contest between friends wherin the object is to collect as many medals as possible by fucking retards in their various orafices. Bronze for the snapper, silver for the yapper and gold for the crapper. Rules may vary but in the end, everybody wins.

    Squeegee - When your fucking a girl in the ass, when your about to cum, you stick a pin in one of her ass cheeks, thus making her clench up and cleaning all the shit off your cock as you pull out at the same time.

    Suicide Bomber (see also "Traveling Salesman") - Go home with a slore on what you know is a one night stand. Fuck her good a couple of times, go to sleep and when you wake up fuck her again. Soon, she will fall asleep again. When this happens take a shit in her bed and get up real quiet like so that she can't tell. Get the hell out. When she gets up and notices that you are gone she will think, "where did he go?? oh well he was a good lay." She will return home after a hard day at work and climb into her bed to find your friendly gift with her toes.

    The Michael Jackson - Lay a white girl (or guy) down and dangle your nuts over her/his face like Michael dangled the baby over the balcony. Right when your nuts are about to hit her/his face, take an extreme shit covering there whole face then remind them,"It doesnt matter if your black or white!"

    Munging - Involves two people and one female corpse, one person gets down on her as though to perform oral sex, the other person jumps on the corpses stomach and the first person eats whatever comes out.

    Double Bagger - This is for when your banging a fat, ugly bitch outdoors. Put a bag over her head and one over yours also. Just in case the bag on her head blows off.



    a lot more at http://www.tomorrowideation.com/getoffende...ed/TheList.html
     
  2. -Rage-

    -Rage- 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Apr 12, 2001 Messages: 10,006 Likes Received: 27
  3. fr8lover

    fr8lover Elite Member

    Joined: Oct 22, 2000 Messages: 3,919 Likes Received: 1
    they must be running out of ideas for jokes...not just here, but in general.
     
  4. ctrl+alt+del

    ctrl+alt+del Guest

  5. krie

    krie Guest


    thats just wrong..
     
  6. XxSugarxX

    XxSugarxX Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 25, 2002 Messages: 897 Likes Received: 0
    that's fucking WACK:heated: :mad2:
     
  7. uncle-boy

    uncle-boy Guest

    :lol:
    blhahahahahahahahahahahahaha
     
  8. Fox Mulder

    Fox Mulder 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Nov 23, 2000 Messages: 12,434 Likes Received: 84
    this shit might have been funny in the 4th grade.
     
  9. Krook

    Krook Banned

    Joined: Oct 26, 2002 Messages: 1,922 Likes Received: 0
    anyone who does any of these to a girl needs to be slowly killed:idea:
     
  10. KING BLING

    KING BLING Guest

    Alabama Dinner Special - Nail some hot, but slutty Alabama tramp in her own home. Commence hitting her from behind. Then run her forward out the front door and ram her headfirst into the broken stove on her front lawn.

    The Assassin (aka, ³The Backdoor Johnny², ³The John Wilkes Booth²) - Dress up like a janitor to gain access to a seedy motel room. Hide out in the bathroom and wait for some pathetic john to call in the local hooker. After he pays for her but before they start, run out of the bathroom and hit the john with a lead pipe while yelling, ³sic semper tyrannis!² Fuck the whore, steal the john¹s wallet and car and make a dashing escape. _
     
  11. SCUMBAG

    SCUMBAG New Jack

    Joined: Dec 3, 2002 Messages: 0 Likes Received: 0
    i never knew there were names for half of this shit.
     
  12. Mr.Clean

    Mr.Clean Member

    Joined: Apr 23, 2003 Messages: 462 Likes Received: 0
    i got a few. most involve homosexual acts. i'm not gay, but i wonder if my friend who told me about these are. he claims to have made up a few.


    the Hot Carl
    Drop a shit on the fools face, then bust a nut on it

    the Rusty Trombone
    Eat a guy out while giving him a reach-around, thus making a trombone like motion.

    the Pinata
    Fill a balloon with shit. two guys hump it until it pops.

    Roman Shower
    One person pukes on the other
    Golden Shower
    One person pisses on the other
    French Shower
    Straight shittin on the other person.


    how do i know all these...i'm sick...
     
  13. ~DeNtOnE~

    ~DeNtOnE~ Senior Member

    Joined: May 6, 2002 Messages: 1,072 Likes Received: 0
    i dont know what these are called but ...

    some guy was like you hit it from the back on a gurl and befor you cum you pull it out an spit on her back so simulate you came.. when she turns around you nail her in the face with you pimp juice...

    next is you geta gurl to give you head and cum in her mouth ..pull out real fast and punch her inthe nose and blood and cum will come out her nose..


    ...dont know if they work..
     
  14. Dirty_habiT

    Dirty_habiT Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Mar 8, 2001 Messages: 18,057 Likes Received: 44
    Matrix Mecco - have a strobe light on while having sex... when you shoot your load, aim for her face, and she has to dodge it.
     
  15. Dick Quickwood

    Dick Quickwood 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Aug 25, 2002 Messages: 14,783 Likes Received: 14
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