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Guest imported_El Mamerro

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

http://newcamp.net/hector/images/familia/braces.jpg'>

 

Hi, it's me, El Mamerro, and that's me up there with the braces in 7th grade. I'd like to introduce you to my family.

 

 

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This is my father, back in the good ol' disco days. He was probably very stoned when this picture was taken, and wished to express it by grabbing his nuts and making his fellow mustachioed friends point at his groin. Ha ha! The picture is obviously funny because it involves nuts.

 

 

 

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This is my dad today. Moments before this picture was taken, my dad was smoking weed out of a pipe the dude next to him made from assorted pieces of bathroom sink plumbing.

 

 

 

http://newcamp.net/hector/images/familia/papi107.jpg'>

 

This is my dad passed out on the couch, around 9 years ago. Me and my brother decided to crack an egg over his head to get back at him for all the times he had woken us up drunk, with a boombox blaring, calling us pussies for going to bed so early. We were expecting him to wake up confused after the egg impact, but, uh, he didn't. He had a huge mess in his hair the next day.

 

 

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My dad again, with two of my friends. I really don't know what the hell is going on in this picture, but it sure looks dirty.

 

 

 

 

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This is my mom, old school style... check out the wallpaper. There is a big probability she was high on LIFE when this picture was taken.

 

 

 

 

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This is my mom holding a giant plastic phallus, which we have lovingly dubbed "Wilson", and whose origins are unknown. My dad stares at it with lust. This picture brings me to....

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

http://newcamp.net/hector/images/familia/manuwilson.jpg'>

 

... my little brother, offering Wilson to some lucky fellow. From the look of the fellow's pants, I would say that it's me, but I really don't remember my brother pointing plastic penises at me ever. He's pointed his real dick at me on a number of occasions, but never a fake one.

 

 

 

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Me and my little bro at his 7th birthday, looking like complete total retards. Check out the fade I'm rocking, and the absolutely pitiful cake. That day, I broke his arm.

 

 

 

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My little bro sporting the cast that resulted from the aforementioned day. There is also a dog in the picture. And some weird squiggly white thing on the bottom right.

 

 

 

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My little bro rocking the latest addition to the family, my dad's Yamaha V-Star. I've mentioned this bike before, mainly because it owns my soul.

 

 

 

 

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Me, my big brother, and some people, at Mardi Gras. As you can see, my brother is getting his weiner licked in some shady parking lot. Mardi Gras rocks four times and a half, and you should all go sometimes.

 

 

 

http://newcamp.net/hector/images/familia/vivyyo.jpg'>

 

An old girlfriend. She was hot. And judging by how terribly faggy I look in that picture, she had weird tastes. This brings me to....

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

http://newcamp.net/hector/images/familia/vivykar.jpg'>

 

...this picture, which features my ex, my best friend, and one bling-ass Prowler. My best friend, who is awfully rich and whose dad owns a Chrysler dealership, let her borrow this car, the first Prowler in PR so she could pick me up in the airport. I received a standing applause from everyone who witnessed the event, and...

 

 

 

 

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...please believe I rode that shit hard down this stretch, with "The Perfect Drug" by Nine Inch Nails blaring on the stereo. It was good. VERY good.

 

 

 

 

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This is my best friend again, with my other best friend, a male this time, who is forcing her to perform cunnilingus on a mannequin. We had found in a trash pile behind a clothing store, after getting drunk on cooking wine and deciding that going through trash bins was more fun than going to the dressy party we were originally planning.

 

 

 

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The mannequin has since been dressed up and set up in my back porch so that it looks like a real person. Trust me, there's nothing more hilarious than seeing a drunk friend go up to this mannequin at parties thinking they can start up a conversation, only to end up screaming in fear and confusion.

 

 

 

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Seven years after we cracked an egg over my dad's head, my friend (who happens to be the same guy in the pic with my dad) passes out on the same couch in a very unfashionable fashion. We decide to tag the fuck out of him with gold paint markers. We filled every square millimeter of skin in his ears. Then I pulled down my pants and softly applied my ass to his face. This resulted in a terrible mess for Mamerro, because all the gold paint smeared over my ass crack. Bad karma I guess.

 

 

 

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This is a picture of my current girlfriend. It's in here just in case she ever sees this thread, so she doesn't complain about me putting pictures of ex's online and calling them hot.

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

http://newcamp.net/hector/images/familia/familia.jpg'>

 

My completely drunken family would like to say goodbye now, but before we leave...

 

 

 

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Please, please, PLEASE believe I was rocking the Ninja steez since kindergarten, so don't front like I'm out of the crew. Me and my bro looking cool for halloween. Beer,

 

El Mamerro

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Guest platapie

dam mammero. this is the best thread in months. if your ever in the middle of the pacific you hit me up and i got you on the first copla rounds.

 

 

platapie

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fuck the osbournes, el mammeros family is great stuff....

 

i am quite a bit dissapointed though because the jesus potato is no where in those flicks.... its fucking depressing when you think about it... please make me undepressed..... i think wilson and jaypee danced together in the moonlite a couple nites...

 

p.s. as part of this ninja shinanigans, i would like to mate with a ninja and have kids that look just like you with the ninja get up.............. my womb is ready, who wants to spread some love?

 

that fuckin picture is so adorable!!

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Guest platapie

i actully watched a documentary about them on animal planet or some shit liek that. and it turns out they dont quack and they hssss witch i found amusing. but they are pretty ugly creatures. it just shows you god did have a sence of humor. or whoever created this animal. but ethier way if you need the love? its time for the hawaiian charm to kick in. hahahahahhaa

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Guest platapie

please belive i am hawaiian. you lived here for 17 years? where abotu did you live? im on instant mesnger get at me there. abonimaldrunkman

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Your family looks cool. But way to disfunctional to have the best life. Your family are the kinda people I would like to hang out on the weekends with not spend my whole life with parents who are always on lots of dope. Haha, i find that funny your parents do drugs at that late age. Rock on.

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Guest willy.wonka

hahahaha....i was lovin that!!

wilson the family dildo...hahahaha

this is one of the better threads i had ever seen...thank you.

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fuckin A mamerro great fucking post!

dude your little bro looks like Elian Gonzalez in that one pic.

Dude I also have the same budweiser cup where your mom is holding the rubber pen-is.

I'ma take a picture, too bad I don't have a rubber pen-is. Maybe I'll take one of the real thing.

 

Probably a bad idea.

 

Hilarious stuff man!

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Guest -MOE LESTER-

best post of the year.....however this made me depressed because my family is lame as fuck....and your family is cool.....i wish i had a dad like that......please fucking kill me

 

 

dee....i am a certified NIP ninja, please believe we can have ninja sex

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