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Medical Advice

Discussion in 'Channel Zero' started by Milton, Nov 13, 2005.

  1. Milton

    Milton Senior Member

    Joined: May 21, 2003 Messages: 2,253 Likes Received: 0
    Yo,
    I think we need a thread for lay medical advice. Actually I have a question and wanted some opinions. But I encourage everyone else to ask questions.

    About 3 weeks ago I got a bump on the floor of my mouth under my tongue. It's about the size of a pea. I thought it was smoking so I quit smoking, but it didn't go away. Over the weekend it was all the way gone. But then I drank a redbull and that made it come back. Is it possible that the red bull is causing the bump?

    Also, in case everyone was curious about condoms. I have for quite some time been freaked out because I thought condoms were only 85% effective. I was sitting there counting and multiplying 15% by how many times I'd had sex and freaking out. As it turns out this statistic is garbage (propaganda). According to the whitepapers at planned parenthood here is the statistics on condoms:
    1) With average use of a condom (which means average use of a 17 year old including people who a) put the condom on halfway through sex; b) only use condoms inconsistently, and; c) put them on incorrectly so that they break/puncture) 15 women out of 100 will get pregnant over the course of a year. With perfect use (a)putting it on correctly esp. without air bubbles and space at the tip; b)using it consistently, and; c) using before you stick it in the first time) only 2 out of 100 women get pregnant over the course of a year.

    Does anyone know why you're not supposed to put it in the toilet? Is it bad for the environment or something?

    Doc Milton
     
  2. CACashRefund

    CACashRefund 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 14,171 Likes Received: 272
    no condoms in toilets because 1 i think itll keep floating back up and 2 itll clog your shit up
     
  3. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    it's hemmerhoids. you need them burned out with a hot poker, then apply leeches to the effected area for 6 months
     
  4. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

    Joined: Mar 7, 2001 Messages: 16,306 Likes Received: 104
    My girl is a nurse, I'll ask her about that shit on your mouth. Ive gotten those before too, but it was because i was eating to much acidic foods. (WTF..Im italian, tomatoes are everything!?)
    Might be the same case.

    As for the condom thingie...Im agreeing with Cash money..
     
  5. Abracadabra

    Abracadabra Dirty Dozen Crew

    Joined: Dec 28, 2001 Messages: 22,906 Likes Received: 113
    who uses condoms anyway?
     
  6. shameless self promotion

    shameless self promotion 12oz Legend

    Joined: Mar 7, 2001 Messages: 16,306 Likes Received: 104
    [​IMG]
    "I love a good joke!
    .....I dont know...
    ...who?"
     
  7. Big Bruno

    Big Bruno Senior Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2001 Messages: 2,472 Likes Received: 70
    I'm not certain, but the bump may be a blocked saliva gland.
     
  8. WhiteOx

    WhiteOx Elite Member

    Joined: Sep 4, 2003 Messages: 3,691 Likes Received: 0
    tomatoes are acidic?
     
  9. John Birch

    John Birch Member

    Joined: Apr 14, 2004 Messages: 747 Likes Received: 0
  10. the_gooch

    the_gooch 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 15, 2002 Messages: 11,566 Likes Received: 431
    canker sore? or are those on the outside?
     
  11. GEEB

    GEEB Senior Member

    Joined: Dec 6, 2004 Messages: 1,803 Likes Received: 43
    grab a pair of toe nail clippers and clip the thing off. OUCH. :shook:
     
  12. the_gooch

    the_gooch 12oz Loyalist

    Joined: May 15, 2002 Messages: 11,566 Likes Received: 431

    this is exactly why a medical advice thread is a great idea!!!
     
  13. mr.yuck

    mr.yuck Veteran Member

    Joined: May 12, 2000 Messages: 6,952 Likes Received: 6
    A few years ago I had these lumps that formed under my skin on my shoulder blade. If you pushed on it, it would roll from under the pressure point and then return to its place when pressure was taken away. It was like that for a few months and then the 3 lumps went away. Anybody have any ideas on that one?
     
  14. dumy

    dumy Veteran Member

    Joined: Oct 8, 2004 Messages: 5,056 Likes Received: 0
    ok, the magic flick is clownin'
     
  15. Kr430n5_666

    Kr430n5_666 Banned

    Joined: Oct 6, 2004 Messages: 19,229 Likes Received: 30
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