Poop Man Bob Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 http://graphics.theonion.com/pics_3808/hammurderer.jpg'> OAK BROOK, IL—Bowing to outcry from consumers and parents groups, the McDonald's Corporation announced Monday that it is discontinuing its new advertising mascot, "The Hammurderer," a mischievous, homicidal imp who kills McDonaldland characters and takes their sandwiches. Developed by Chicago advertising agency DDB Needham, the Hammurderer made his debut two months ago and has since appeared in a series of Saturday-morning television commercials, as well as on Happy Meal bags and activity placemats. All appearances by and references to the violent, ill-tempered prison escapee will be dropped. "Over the years, McDonald's has successfully introduced a number of new characters whose defining characteristic is a certain measure of comical, criminal intent," said Andrew Perlich, McDonald's vice-president of promotions. "Such shady characters as The Hamburglar, The Goblins, and the bloodthirsty pirate Captain Crook have all fit nicely into the McDonald's advertising universe. We had every reason to believe that the Hammurderer, with his long rap sheet of burger-related crimes and his signature cry of 'Stabble Stabble Stabble,' would take his place in this proud lineage of McDonaldland mischief-makers." The Hammurderer's Jan. 11 debut ad—in which he seizes and devours the McDonald's Happy Meal Guys, oblivious to their frantic screams—earned poor marks from parents and child-development experts, who feared the spot might send the message to children that killing is acceptable. Several weeks later, more controversy erupted over the promotional coloring book "Shivved In The McRibs," in which the Hammurderer decapitates Mayor McCheese and eats his head. Responding to widespread public outrage, McDonald's executives defended the coloring book as "not nearly as violent or socially irresponsible as it has been made out to be, given that the Mayor's head is, in fact, a giant and conceivably edible cheeseburger." But the uproar over the latest commercial, in which Birdie The Early Bird is garroted by the Hammurderer and her body tossed in a Dumpster, was vociferous enough to prompt the fast-food giant to pull the plug. "We are sensitive to the concerns of parents and will immediately begin phasing out this character," Perlich said. "Whether we will remove him from commercials without explanation or write him out of the spots with a bloody police standoff, we have yet to decide. But we're confident the Hammurderer will be off the national radar by April." Hammurderer toys and promotional items, which include dolls, T-shirts, ski masks, and spiked bats, have been recalled and are expected to become prized collectibles. This is not the first time a McDonald's character has stirred controversy for its violent nature. In 1982, the company introduced "Shakes McJunkie," an emaciated addict who robbed characters of their possessions, which he then sold to buy McDonald's shakes. He was later reworked as "The Machead," a homeless, wild-eyed Big Mac addict who turned to panhandling and gay prostitution as a means of supporting his severe burger habit. The Hammurderer is quickly becoming regarded as the worst-received advertising mascot since Kool-Aid's 1989 discontinuation of "The Grapist," a huge purple monster who sodomizes thirsty children. Oh, and it's from TheOnion.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiteboy 516 Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 Mcdonald's seriously has to reconsider the advertising firm who is doing their marketing... I mean a prison escapee who is running around with a bloody knife is not the best image for the kiddies.----And the "Hammurderer," I mean what the fuck are these people thinking??---or they're just not thinking at all, I don't know man. If this character had not been discontinued and became a part of the Mickey D's gang....well let's just say some interesting news reports would start to surface.--(Possible Example-)..In Fort Worth Texas today, 8 year old Bobby Fischer fatally wounded his younger sister by stabbing her numerous times in her chest and abdomen. On explanation to crime scene officials Bobby replied, "She stole my happy meal so I just did what the Hammurderer would have done , slice her into tiny pieces with his butcher knife, that's all, the Hammurderer's awesome,..I love him."------------------------ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiteboy 516 Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 Shakes Mcjunkie.,an emaciated crack addict....hahaha---shit------I don't remember that character nor the Machead, a wildeyed big mac addict who turned to panhandling and gay prostitution???????? for his habit..maybe because they weren't around for too long. Sheeeeeeit or maybe cause I'm a gullible son of a bitch.--ummmm you wanna put your stiff machead into my tight asshole---slide that machead right up in here...I need my burgers babeee----I neeeeeeeeed em!! hahahahahahhaah----------------------oh yeah I forgot about the grapehead.......u thirsty little girl?..yeah???....well why don't u reach right under my purple leglings...I got something that's gonna quench your thirst honey....ummm-hummm..yes I do.oooo hey how did by big purple finger get down the front of your underwear....heyyy what have we got here? hmmmmmmmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BROWNer Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 wowzers.......the last 2 replies are just........wow............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
When Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 the grapist! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest platapie Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 and those guys got paid so much i bet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinyl junkie Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 have you guys heard about that old cartoon that was gonna go up against magilla gorilla? it was called statutory ape... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Rage- Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 http://www.syntac.net/hoax/Billboard/animals.jpg'> http://www.12ozprophet.com/forum/showthrea...=&threadid=4022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HELLSATAN Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 hahahh the grapist funniest ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abracadabra Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 i like mcdonalds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pilau Hands Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 "Shivved In The McRibs," "Shakes McJunkie," an emaciated addict who robbed characters of their possessions, which he then sold to buy McDonald's shakes. He was later reworked as "The Machead," a homeless, wild-eyed Big Mac addict who turned to panhandling and gay prostitution as a means of supporting his severe burger habit. MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA OH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest YinzerXpress Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 dude this post is funny as hell... bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kr430n5_666 Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 http://www.netgoth.org.uk/people/7832.jpg'> "hey i fucking love mcdonalds" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogie hands Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 Originally posted by Poop Man Bob The Hammurderer is quickly becoming regarded as the worst-received advertising mascot since Kool-Aid's 1989 discontinuation of "The Grapist," a huge purple monster who sodomizes thirsty children. thats some seriously funny shit......great paper, i wish i could get it around here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus of Nazareth Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 more from the Onion Originally posted by boogie hands thats some seriously funny shit......great paper, i wish i could get it around here They sell it at most large chain bookstores like Barnes and Nobles, and Borders. http://graphics.theonion.com/pics_3808/007_skeleton_of_satan.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tue skinny Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 mcdonalds sucks. burger king is so good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASER1NE Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 fast food is disgusting , after eating it almost everyday from walking around with my crew to the yards and whatnot , then from getting it for free when my friends worked there , then from when i worked there ......i am quite sick of it now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest --zeSto-- Posted March 11, 2002 Share Posted March 11, 2002 Dr. Abernathy's Anti-Masturbation Harness and Genital Pouch. "For young men, sanituarium inmates or the out-of-work" Watchout for moody teenage slackers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High Priest Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 I like mcdonalds... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bug Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 mcdonalds is fucking disgusting. eat some real food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bug Posted March 12, 2002 Share Posted March 12, 2002 Originally posted by -Rage- so do plants :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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